View Full Version : Devastated, humiliated and worthless
karendot
Sep 3, 2011, 03:27 PM
I am a 61-year old single woman. For the last two years I have broken the law and helped myself to various items in grocery stores, big box stores and mall stores. They are small inconsequential items I could live without. I buy merchandise and add something for myself that will slide right into my handbag. I was a caregiver for my dad and then mom for fifteen years. Had to quit my job to care for mom and it was a 24-hr a day job. She is gone three years now. I worry about making ends meet but, above all, I am a very lonely, unhappy person with no where to turn. When I take something I feel deserving because my life has been so difficult. I try to fool myself that even God would sanction this because He knows what a wonderful daughter I was to my folks. I have been caught two times and neither time they called the police. They issued trespass warrants both times. The humiliation the first time should have been enough. I came home and was in bed for five days. I thought I would never get over that incident. Now, today, I did it again. The Loss Prevention fellow kept telling me to calm down. I think he thought I might have a heart attack. If I had a gun with me I would have used it on myself. I know how stupid and destructive this is. I know I am suffering from depression, but is that just an excuse for my behavior. I'm in such a low place that I don't know which way to turn.
Fr_Chuck
Sep 3, 2011, 03:42 PM
I would say stop stealing and start using correct moral values in your choices.
If you can not control this ( but it sounds like you make the choice knowing the results) but if you can not stop, you should seek professional help
Wondergirl
Sep 3, 2011, 03:52 PM
I'm glad you came to this site and wrote about what you did. That alone has to be somewhat of a relief to you, to be able to talk to someone about it.
Are you in the U.S. Maybe it's time to find a counselor. You might be stuck in grief over your parents and haven't really worked through that, thus the depression. A counselor would help you talk though that plus your need to reward yourself by shoplifting.
What do you think?
DrBill100
Sep 3, 2011, 04:07 PM
Karen,
You indicate that you began stealing within the last two years. Was there anytime in your earlier life when this occurred, even many years previous?
It also seems to have occurred following the loss of your mother, but about a year later. Do I have that right?
Finally, you note that you are suffering from depression. Is that your opinion or a medical diagnosis? I'm certainly not questioning your feelings... rather trying to pinpoint some information and create a timeline. Regardless, how long have you been depressed and is your mood worsening?
It sounds like you are currently in a desperate situation and your actions are taking you to an even deeper state of despair.
At any rate, if you would be so kind as to answer the above maybe we could at least get you pointed in the right direction for appropriate assistance.
Fr_Chuck
Sep 3, 2011, 05:04 PM
Please do not start new threads for the same question and issue, If you would like to give more info and follow up on this, please "ANSWER" your own question.
Your other 2nd thread was deleted. We do want to hear from you, so please give me more info
Fr_Chuck
Sep 3, 2011, 05:39 PM
Karen, you appear to be having a hard time understanding how to use the site, I will try and help you the best I can.
I have no idea why you reported Dr Bills post, what was wrong or insulting about it. He gave a opinion based on the limited info you gave.
But in your report, you appeared to be trying to give more info.
Please ANSWER this post to give more info
Fr_Chuck
Sep 3, 2011, 05:45 PM
Karen?? Please come back to this thread and tell us what is going on, you keep reporting Dr Bill for some reason.
We have ignored your report since there does not appear to be anything wrong,
You can come here and give more info about it, to help us, help you better
karendot
Sep 3, 2011, 05:49 PM
I'm sorry that I'm not understanding the process. I know you are trying to help me.
Fr_Chuck
Sep 3, 2011, 05:49 PM
OK, Karen, please come back here and ANSWER the question, give a answer to your own question.
Please stop "reporting" a answer, this is to be done for bad or wrong answers. You have now reported Wondergirl, for what appears to be no reason, but you wanted to give her information.
This is not the way this site works, when you report it, only the moderators see what you write, and look to see if the answers given were poor, wrong or against site rules.
These answers are not, your reports have been ignored.
karendot
Sep 3, 2011, 05:56 PM
Yes, I began stealing afer my mom's death. At that time I was prescribed Lexapro and Zolpidem. I was very upset when I saw my doc, and had not slept for years because I needed to be awake and alert to hear my parents if they needed me.
Wondergirl
Sep 3, 2011, 06:00 PM
Please tell us more. Why were you upset with the doctor? Were you still caring for a parent?
karendot
Sep 3, 2011, 06:09 PM
I just need help.
Fr_Chuck
Sep 3, 2011, 06:12 PM
Thank you for coming back. I understand that the site can at times be hard to understand, with so many buttons and choices. I am glad that you are coming back.
Also please understand that it often takes several days for some of the experts to read and respond to your posts.
So at the time that you picked up the item to steal it, what where you thinking ? If you did not need it ? Could you afford to pay for it ?
karendot
Sep 3, 2011, 06:12 PM
I was never upset with the doctor
.
Wondergirl
Sep 3, 2011, 06:13 PM
I want you to promise me you won't do any more shoplifting.
After you make that promise (which is to YOUR benefit), then we will talk more.
Now, say "I promise, Wondergirl."
Fr_Chuck
Sep 3, 2011, 06:24 PM
Ok, you did it again, you reported my last post to give me an answer.
You need to always answer to give more info
Here is your reason for reporting my answer
Reason Given: I felt that I was spending money; therefore it wouldn't hurt to have a little extra since life is too hard to cope sometimes.
karendot
Sep 3, 2011, 08:15 PM
I promise on my life that I will never shoflift again. I will think of the consequences and how embarrassed and humiliated I feel. I will think of how my mother and father would cringe with fear to know I have done this. I will be ashamed for all of the work I have done in my life for the betterment of people has ruined my plans. I want to be remembered as a kind, giving and supportive person. If someone is in need I am there. God help me pursue that which is important.
Me tio this low place.
Wondergirl
Sep 3, 2011, 08:26 PM
I promise on my life that I will never shoflift again.
Now, let's think of a way you can reward yourself for caring for your parents all those years and for being the good person we know you are.