lemon14
Aug 31, 2011, 09:21 AM
For the last three months I parted company with everybody I know: no meetings, no visits, no chatting, no phone calls anymore. Just the memory of any of these makes me fly into a rage. I feel like everybody is trying to control my life, to take decisions for me and speak on my behalf, so I feel better off all these. Somehow, I need to be on my own, to be left alone, just me and my thoughts, but on the other hand, I need somebody to talk to, just small talk and have fun. But honestly, I can count my friends on the fingers of one hand because almost everybody thinks that I'm weird or envy me in some way. And although they are my friends, they are not that kind of friends that I want, so I don't always like their company and this makes fly into another rage. My family began to scold me and to tell me that I'm going insane because I live so isolated, that not even they are able to contact me. But everybody annoys me. What's wrong with me? I would sit all day long and cry, I don't have motivation for anything, I just need a person that understands me, but where am I to find it? I've been travelling most of the summer and I got back with no new friends.