Okay, so please bear with me because this is going to be long :)..

My ex and I were together for 5 years. Things seemed perfect.. then. Lately we started fighting a lot. She went into a new office and used to find the manager very hot. I never used to mind it because although I'm a little insecure type of guy but her manager was married and had a kid too. Then one fine day the manager took her out to dinner where she told me they discussed work and all. He even said "I love you for being there, I don't have many friends in the office" she replied "I love you as a friend".. I didn't mind that too. Then as she was going back he kissed her on her cheeks as a goodbye according to her and she kissed him back on the cheeks though till now it was getting a little too touchy.

So I decided to confront things with her. The next day I had decided to break up with her and we were meeting for the same thing. Something happened and her manner got to know about me having problems with last night. When she came she was angry and asked me to never call her up again. We broke up and I never contacted her for a little less than 2 months when she started mailing me.

The mails were overtly emotional telling me how much she missed me and all, she even burned her diary and attached the bonfire pics along with the mail. She even started putting emotional status messages on FB about how sad and low she was and that she missed somebody too much.

By this time I was almost over her, although certain left over feelings were still there. When we started chatting, she started digging into my present love life, and started asking who I was with and all. Telling me she was curious. She said she was still not over my memories. I was with another girl by this time. When I asked her she basically said she had nobody till now.

I further dug into her thing with her manager, she said they were close friends, and that she hoped to be together with him someday. She didn't know if she loved him, but wanted to be together with him. When I told her about my thing with my new girl she went a little quiet. When I called her she basically said it will again get messy. I don't want to be in contact. I said okay, then she again called up, and fixed a date with me. She told me about her new photos and that she had purchased lenses and all. She asked me to meet someday.

I really don't know what this girl is up to. Does she still love me, and if she cannot get over me, how can she possibly be seeing another man. I'm a little confused by now. Please tell me what's going on here. She says she doesn't love me anymore. Well if she doesn't love me anymore, why is she so interested in my life now? She keeps asking whether we have slept together (New girl), or do I love her, or not.


Edited/T

She is fishing for information, but I think she is clearly making you an option as she knows she will be seeing her boss. There is no reason to be confused, she dumped you, and you were going to dump her, and you have rebounded to someone else so why are you going behind the rebounds back to "chat" with your ex? That's cheating in my book! Not fair to the new girl at all.


I further dug into her thing with her manager, she said they were close friends, and that she hoped to be together with him someday.

That should have been the end of any more conversations as far as I would be concerned, FOREVER. Then should be no confusion at all, as this seems to be her intentions with the married boss.

You want to end the confusion? Stay off her FB, and stop the stupid "chatting" with her. Delete her emails, and ignore any attempts to contact you. Then neither of you will be confused, or play games about this failed, DEAD, unhealthy, relationship. May of started great, as they all do, but has deteriorated to crap.

Merged



My ex of 5 years broke up with me 50 days ago.. now she's back with emotional big mails telling me how much she misses me.. she even sent me pics of a bonfire she made of burning her diary in which I had my name everywhere.. do you think that's psychological sickness..?. and in the middle of it she says she hopes to be with her married boss someday.. but she doesn't know weather she loves him or not.. and that she is not in a relationship... I want to know.. if she's really still into me which she mentioned during our mails.. how can she hope to be with her manager.. and not love him... is she trying to play games.. with my mind?trying to make me jealous?. she keeps digging into who I'm with and who is the girl.. wether we slept together.. then when I tell her.. she makes a U turn that we shudn't be in contact its going to mess things for me again... is she possibly upset at the thought of me being with someone else? Does she really care? What's going on here...

Ya, she's playing games. She's clearly unstable over this break-up, but that will pass.

Advice: don't read or respond to her e-mails, and block her if you have to.

You do better waiting for others to come online and respond, than just reposting the same question again.

I further dug into her thing with her manager, she said they were close friends, and that she hoped to be together with him someday. She didn't know if she loved him, but wanted to be together with him.

So, she doesn't know if she loves him, but she wants to be with him, even though she knows he's married.

I don't see where your confusion is.


I really don't know what this girl is up to. Does she still love me, and if she cannot get over me, how can she possibly be seeing another man. I'm a little confused by now.

Really? You don't know what she's up to? Really?

She has told you that she wants to hook up with her boss. She's said that it will happen.

Really, where the confusion? Also, you said you're with someone else, so where's your mind at? Do you care about this new girl at all, or are you just playing her like your ex is playing you?


She says she doesn't love me anymore. Well if she doesn't love me anymore, why is she so interested in my life now? She keeps asking whether we have slept together (New girl), or do I love her, or not.

Okay, breaking it down for you. She cares because you've moved on. She has too, but not in the same way. She's waiting for her married boss to make a move. He hasn't. That leaves her in limbo, waiting on the sideline until he decides to cheat on his wife (which is what she's hoping for). Since he hasn't made a move, she's lonely, and she's angry that you moved on.

She doesn't care about you. In fact, she doesn't care about anyone but herself. She's willing to wreck a marriage to get what she wants. She doesn't care about you or anyone else. She wants what she wants, and only that.

Your best move is to delete her from everything. Facebook, phone, email. Don't contact her, and ignore all her attempts to contact you. She's bad news.

So far I agree with all the advice you have been given. However, I have to spread 'the rep'.

The only thing I will add is that you would make a good cover story for the people in the office and the boss' wife. It goes something like this: Oh, no, I am not seeing the boss. I have a boyfriend. Check him out. With a guy like him how could I ever think of sleeping with the boss?

Unfortunately, I have seen males and females play that game. I would really dislike the thought of you being used to cover her tail-end while she has an affair with her married boss.

I also feel sorry for the female who thinks you are in a relationship with her and not your ex.