Okay---- so I have this dog. He is INCREDIBLY smart, and also VERY large (Irish Wolfhound/Mastiff). He has learned to open doors, windows, gate latches, etc in his great need for adventure. He's great if I ever need help finding my way out but my neighbors aren't very happy with his "wandering" (which I can completely understand). They've called the cops on him once in the past (4-5 months ago, if it matters) because I had left him inside while I took a quick run to grab some food... for him. He "escaped" and was lounging on the neighbors back porch and apparently pooped in their yard. So, she called the cops. The cops came and put him in the yard and left me with a warning. I promptly went to her house, cleaned up the mess and apologized profusely and she seemed fine with it.
SO, after installing new handles and latches... TODAY he apparently jumped through a SMALL 2nd floor bathroom window... and went back to Mrs. Neighbors back porch. And bless her heart, said he wouldn't let her out of the house. She said he was blocking the door and refused to let her leave and barked at her. I get it. He's a huge dog and the size alone can be intimidating. And yes, I know he barks at people, it's just the "hey, howya doin'?" bark, but I know, it doesn't matter. She was scared, I don't blame her. So, she called the cops on me---I was dead asleep at 5am when this happened. I didn't know what happened until AFTER the cops had left and I had time to digest all the information I was given. OH-Here's the kicker I know you've all been waiting for: they threatened to have animal control come out and confiscate him and possibly destroy him if it happened again because he's shown that he is aggressive (because he barked)
The question I'm trying to ask is:
A) How can I keep this dog in the house?
B) How can I NOT be a horrible irresponsible dog owner? (I promise, I'm not intentionally trying to be!)
C) can the cops really confiscate and possibly KILL my dog for barking at someone?

Please just give me thoughtful answers. Don't tell me I'm an A**hole for letting him run loose and terrorize. I don't.
And no kennel will fit him---believe me... I've tried.

If I have to, I will find him a new home... I hate to do that as he's already 3 years old, fully trained and I do kind of like him.

Have you and he ever tried obedience school? It sounds like he needs a job/work to do -- too much free time on his paws. He might turn out to be a terrific service dog.

Yes, he's been to obedience school and I'm pround to say: he did VERY well. He knows all of his commands and yes, I'm sure he'd be great as a service dog. He just has some size issues, not to mention he's kind of a velcro dog and if I had the time, I would really like to volunteer at a hospital or something like that with him.
We do usually go for nightly runs around the neighborhood--i try to give into his desire to roam, within reason and attempt to burn of some energy, But it just seems he wants human interaction... even if he ends getting chased by the guys in blue.

How much expercise does your guy get each day?

The electric underground fence? Worked with my dogs

But same on the house as you would, don't leave windows open that big, set safety so they can't open that large.

Secure all openings he can get out of

I take him for a 3 mile run most nights, on the weekends, maybe about 6-8 (sometimes it's broken up) plus he's out and about with me most of the time. So, he's getting good exercise... maybe a moderate pace for him, but I swear I give it all I got!

I've actually installed child locks on most of the doors/windows/cabinets... even the toilet seat. The one he got out today I just honestly didn't think he'd ever even see. It's a little toilet window. I'm still wondering how he figured that one out
*scratches head*

I'm really wondering if he may be a ninja/escape artist in a dog suit. I mean, that seems to be the most logical explanation I can come up with.

Maybe check with the local animal shelter or vets about loaning him out for training and work as a service dog.

Oh, and yes, I've briefly thought about underground fences, but I'd have to encircle my entire house, and even then... the part he jumped from today was a little overhang, right over the driveway (missed my car) so it wouldn't have really worked, plus his size---I really have no experience with it, but he's 160+ pounds do they work that well on dogs that big? I'd be worried he'd just brush it off and go on eating small children and terrorizing old people...

(I was joking about eating small children-he doesn't like the way they taste)

And you know Wondergirl, I've never thought about loaning him out. How would that work? Someone just borrows my dog for a few hours every once in a while? I've just never heard of any program like that. Sounds like it would be kind of interesting...

Simple solution, kennel your dog while you are away, yes they make them that big, I have many time fostered giant breeds; and invest in some window locks that only allow the windows to open part of the way.

I had a similar situation as you. I had a mastiff/shepherd mix, who was not only a great escape artist, but he had aggression issues. Animal control along with the RCMP were called to my house numerous times. According my bylaws, the AC officer could destroy any dog that is showing aggression or at large. So there was no bull poop there.

I'm not one for underground fences, but in extreme cases such as yours I think it would be a great resource to fall back on.

I’ve tried to attach the dog ordinance which is pretty straight forward. Given that I live in Canada and you are probably in the US the wording may be different, but they are all usually pretty straight forward.

After reading my post again, I assure I didn't mean to come off as snotty and pretentious as I sounded! “simple solution” ::shakes my head::

and you know Wondergirl, i've never thought about loaning him out. How would that work? Someone just borrows my dog for a few hours every once in a while? I've just never heard of any program like that. Sounds like it would be kind of interesting....
Well, you got to start making calls. The shelters around Chicago have volunteers who would be thrilled to take him to service-training classes and then to area hospitals and nursing homes. Or maybe he could be trained to work at bus stations and airports to sniff out drugs, etc. They are discovering that dogs can even sniff out early cancers or pre-cancerous conditions now. He sounds like he'd be a winner -- smart, lovable, eager to please, protective.

I've been looking all over for a kennel that would fit him. Where do you find them and what are the dimensions?
He's just ridiculously tall--he takes after the Irish Wolfhound which are taller and longer than Danes--and he doesn't fit in the GIANT sized kennels I've seen around here--well, I mean, he can FIT... he just can't stand up or move and if he tries to lay down... well, he can't lay down.

I'm not sure of any places in your area, but when I was looking for mine I went online. Let me dig up some resources for you.

Remember a crates only needs to be big enough for them to stand, turn and lay down. Try to stick with the all wire ones as they are more escape proof then the travel crates. Check out these sites:

Pet Carrier Reviews Midwest crate for giant breed dogs (http://www.pet-carrier-reviews.com/crate-for-giant-breed-dogs)

MidWest Metals 1154U Big Dog Crate - Nextag Stores (http://stores.nextag.com/store/4858203/product/977531809/MidWest-Metals-1154U-Big)

Dog Crates (http://www.bigbreeddog.com/dog_crates)

Well, he's NOT aggressive. He absolutely loves people. I know how he barks at strangers... it's the type of one bark notification you get from big dogs. He's not as much protective as he is a giant baby. The only way he'd protect me is if "Mr. Badguy" tripped over him on the way steal my valuables. I'm not trying to defend my dog by saying he's something he's not, but he really is just a huge pushover. He barks because he wants something, to come in/go out/to eat/to play etc.
---Example---a friend just knocked on the door... he's laying out on the couch and barely lifts his head to say "woof" in the tone would expect someone to say "dude, someone's at the door!? how do you not know this already?"

It's only when I'm out that he feels the need to take himself for a walk.

**and to Aurora_Bell: I didn't take it that way at all--now I'm hoping that I don't sound brash and rude :)

Nope, I found your posts quite humorous! I didn't mean your dog was aggressive, I just meant unfortunately mine was. Let me see if I can dig up my very first post here.

I really appreciate all the truly helpful answers! I'm definitely going to look into xtra giant ninja proof crates, and a doggie loaner program...
Me and Connor are heading out for our run (without being tailed by the Police) so I'll update if I come up with any amazing solutions---or if anything happens that I need more guidance on!

Would you PM me your exact location (city, town) and I'll connect with the public library there for possibilities?

Wondering if you found a crate to fit?

My friend had an Irish wolf hound, and he was an escape artist as well. He was also very vocal when he saw people. When he escaped he would walk around town barking at whomever he saw, as soon as you called his name he would quiet down and come say hi. It wasn't really a big deal because we lived in a small town and everyone knew him... but they still didn't want him getting hit or anything (A dog that size could cause a lot of damage!).. What they did was build a 15 feet X 15 feet pen outside, concrete floor, chain link on all four sides, and a chain link/tin roof, they also went to the extreme to wrap electric fence around the metal so that the whole cage was electric (I don't really like this, but I guess you have to do what you have to do), and put a padlock on the gate (unless he had the key he wasn't going anywhere!)... it defiantly kept him in! He got to run around the yard when they were outside with him, but sometimes that just is not an option. They also could not find a kennel to fit his size, so they built an inside pen as well.. it actually looked really nice. They used wood and stained it, and then they put chain link around it, nothing on the floor, and the one whole side was a door. It couldn't really be moved but it fit perfectly in a little nook they had in there porch.

I hope this might help you think of some idea to keep Houdini safe at home where he belongs!