I have to write an essay about "At the age of 18 everybody is old enough to be independent and make their own decisions" Can you correct mine if I have any mistake? Thank!

Everyone agrees that a person independence is a very important matter but no everyone agrees that at age of 18 everybody is old enough to be independent and make their own decisions.

There are several arguments for this statement. Firstly, many people think that at age of 18 everybody es old enough to take their own decisions because they are more mature and the learn a lot about their mistakes. Secondly, most of them know what they want to do in their future and they can also take care of themselves which make them free to leave home and work. For example, most of eighteen-year-old people leave home in order to study in another country. Finally, many people say that they are old enough to be independent and work in order to get money for their studies.

However, there are many arguments against this statement. Firstly, people say that some of them aren't prepare to take care of themselves or they wouldn't like to leave home. But the biggest disadvantage is that families don't give their children a chance to be independent.

In conclusion, although this statement is a good idea, it also has a negative side. In my opinion, they are old enough to be independent because at that age everybody is more mature to make their own decisions

Everyone agrees that a person's independence is a very important matter, but not everyone agrees that at age 18 everyone is old enough to make his own decisions.

There are several arguments in favor of this statement. First, many people think that at age everyone is old enough to make decisions because of maturity and experience because of mistakes made in the past. Second, many know what they want to do in the future and can also take care of themselves, making it possible to leave home to go to work or college. For example, some 18 year olds will work or study in another country. Finally, many people say that they are old enough to be independent and work in order to get money for their studies. [This last sentence is a repetition of earlier sentences Think of a new reason.]

However, there are many arguments against this statement. First, some 18 year olds aren't prepared to take care of themselves and don't want to leave home. The biggest disadvantage is that parents haven't taught their children how to be independent and won't give them that opportunity to try it out.

In conclusion, this statement is a good idea, it also has a negative side. In my opinion, they are old enough to be independent because at that age everybody is more mature to make their own decisions. [This is faulty logic and is not a good conclusion.]

Yeah, I feel the same with the last sentence of the advantages for... Can you give me another idea, please?

Final paragraph possibility:

Yes, independence at the age of 18 is a wonderful possibility that may or may not happen. Unfortunately, if parents haven't groomed their children for independence, failure will result and the children will move back home, heads hung in shame. On the other hand, if parents have done their job in giving their children wings, their 18 year olds will leave home and be successful in the workplace and in college.