I have been in a solid relationship for five years now. We live together and we are truly in love. I am 20 years old and we started dating when I was in High School. We have never broken up. We talk about getting engaged, but of course not getting married or starting a family until we have a steady job, income, and house.

Anyway, before him I "dated" if that is what you want to call it in Middle School a boy and we were together for awhile. Throughout High School and now we still keep it touch. Whenever we talk we always say how we miss each other and think it is funny how close we still are. We talk about how we did not keep in touch with anybody from school besides each other. We have always been very close and had a understanding and connection that was always on another level. Our personalities are very much the same, and I sometimes find myself wondering what it would be like if we stayed together or become closer now. I am scared to try though because I love the guy I am with and I love our relationship I would never want to jeopardize it.

Lately though, I find myself dreaming out him. The dreams are never bad, always good. Sometimes they are from back when we were younger and we would sneak into eachothers bedrooms and just talk because we can spend hours just talking. A few dreams I run away with him for a weekend and I fall in love with him all over again. I even have had a few dreams about us having sex. Every morning though after a dream about him- I cannot stop thinking about them and replaying them over and over.

As much as I enjoy the dreams because they are always happy dreams it is bothering me. I feel horrible for my boyfriend now. I have not told him about these dreams, and I am not sure if I should. I do not go to sleep thinking about my EX and I do not think about him much during the day. So why am I dreaming about him so often? What do these dreams imply? Please let me know if you have any insight on this, thanks a bunch!

Hi wonderstruck,

As far as I'm concerned, dreams are just your subconscious running amuck. I don't personally put too much stock in them. However, it is fun to look up your dreams occasionally take a look here www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/ Perhaps it will give you something.

I do think that you're playing with fire though. If you're really happy in your current relationship and love your boyfriend as much as you do, I would perhaps start distancing yourself from the ex. Put yourself in your S/Os shoes, if he were having all these feelings about an ex, communicating with her regularly, and so on... I think you have to decide quickly what you want. You're young, now is the time to be having fun and to be happy, if you think the current man is going to help make that happen, I would cut ties with the old one. If not, time to pack up and move on, allowing him to do the same.

Good luck!

Nothing wrong with fantasy, and dreams, we all have them. But I think that you being in contact with this old friend may have reached an intensity lately, and you simply back away, a bit, and keep fantasy, and reality separate.

Don't worry about the feelings that are stirred up, its human, and normal, so don't feel guilty, we all have feelings that fade, and intensify at times, and the way we handle them is what counts, so stay within the boundaries of good behavior, you can having happy feelings about others, without confusing fantasy, and reality.

Exes, and old friends, creep into our thoughts, and dreams all the time, for the rest of our lives. No reason for guilt or fear, unless you have done something bad that is. Don't do anything bad, and there is no need to fear those dreams.

Everyone thinks about memories sometimes, after all, that is what they are for, to remember. However, like you said why would jeopardize something that you have now which is amazing for something that is fictual in your mind. Maybe cutting off conversation would be wise, at least for a while, because it is obviously creating turmoil in your life. Concentrate on keep the relationship good, stop thinking of the what "ifs" and start appreciating what you have in front of you NOW. Dreams don't mean anything, last night I felt scared in about 20 different dreams because I couldn't wake up and every time I did I noticed I was just in another dream. However, what does it mean? Nothing, just that I should probably not watch 3 scary movies before going to bed.

Good Luck,
Javi