View Full Version : How can I get him to have more sex with me?
Bubble 22
Aug 18, 2011, 11:05 PM
I am 22 and he is 26. We met 10 months ago, and everything was great. He is a great guy, and I love him. We began having sex 5 months ago and at first it was normal, 2 or 3 times a week. We decided to move in together a month after and as soon as we did everything changed. We only have sex once a week and I have to start it. It's always at night and in the bedroom never anything new. Don't get me wrong he is great, but it's just not enough. I asked him and he said sex isn't important, but it is to me. I don't want our relationship to be just sex but I do want to feel like he wants me and like he is attracted to me. Every night he teases me by touching me, and when I try to touch him he tells me to stop because he is going to sleep, it's very frustrating!! We have plans to get married but I need to figure this situation first because it's getting to me and it makes me be mad at him. There is no passion in our relationship anymore and I want to fix it. Please help! I need tips to make him want me again
CravenMorhead
Aug 19, 2011, 12:32 PM
I also want to draw a picture of a man with a fishing rod fighting to get the fish into the boat, and once it is in the boat, no more effort is needed. Okay, not the best analogy, but I think my point.
You moved REALLY quickly in this relationship and I think you're seeing the results of it right now. He believes that he has 'caught' you and no real further work is required. You have settled into a bit of a good grove and it is working for him.
Why would he want to change?
That aside. There are several pillars in a relationship and if one isn't there then it will cause the entire thing to collapse in time. Your sexual life is one of them. If one person is unsatisfied than that will colour their entire interpretation of the relationship. Everything else could be perfect, but this will be your main focus and you won't be able to see anything else.
I think right now it is time for you to do some thinking. Is this you can accept for the rest of your life. Is it an issue for you? Can you deal with this. Once you have a solid answer on that. You need to talk to your mate. There could be two outcomes. It could change or it could not.
If it doesn't change... I would cut and run. You're far too young to be stuck in a relationship that you're sexually unsatisfied in.
Good Luck.
Fr_Chuck
Aug 19, 2011, 01:06 PM
Also to be honest, 3 times a week really is not "normal" for many people, the one time a week would be much closer to normal for many 26 year olds, who work, have home duties, perhaps other stress and actvities.
So when you sit down ( not in bed) and discuss your sex life, what does he say ?
AlanaFlowe
Sep 11, 2011, 06:50 PM
I would have to agree with CravenMorhead; however, some things that might help to TRY and SPICE things up by getting him to sleep with you, make love to you is...
- Have more conversations with him, heart to heart conversations, get inside of his head and try to reason why he doesn't want to have sexual relations with you. (In my opinion, he might be gay? )
- Start showing more cleavage off to him around the house, (with my boyfriend when I spend the night over his house I wear his t-shirts) Try wearing his t-shirts? It's seductive, teasing him instead of you teasing him.
- Go to bed with only a long t-shirt on? Depending how you feel, you could even go to bed with just your under clothing on (bra and panties) So when he teases you don't react to them. Just play it off and tell him to STOP like he does you. Roll over and "fake" going to sleep and see what he does.
- Cater to him when he comes home, massage his back... kiss on the back of his neck. :] Ask how his day was... Or just surprise him. Make him walk into the home with rose petals on the floor and music playing from the bedroom with you laying there waiting for him. (Lol) Make it a movie romantic...
Hope this helps... :]
He obviously wants the upper hand in the relationship, he is driving you nuts. You're falling for it, turn the table on him and show him that you aren't thinking about SEX.