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reb_fraire
Aug 17, 2011, 07:50 AM
I am 29 and I live at home with my mother and step father with my 2 children. I have lived at home for 4 years and have covered all mine and my childens own needs except for paying rent and household bills I have however always provided groceries for the entire household. My brother and his girlfriend moved in a coule months ago and since then my mother has gotten really sick and now needs all the help she can get. I have since started paying her rent and helping as much as humanly possible while holding down a full time job and dealing with 2 children by myself with minimal pay. My brother does not have a job nor do either him or his girlfriend contribute to helping in anyway. I feel that I am left to do it all on my own. I don't mind at all helping my mom but at what point do I say forget it and just move out on my own in my moms time of needing me. I don't feel that it is my place to suport my brother and his girlfriend when I'm doing my best 2 support me and my children and help why mother the best I can.

Fr_Chuck
Aug 17, 2011, 08:47 AM
So when you were living there without paying rent it was OK, but now it is not OK for your brother to do it for 4 years like you did ?

Ok, legally only your mother can do something, it is her home.

So you move and have mom move in with you, and you control what happens

You tell mom you will only pay the bills if she kicks brother out

0rphan
Aug 17, 2011, 09:34 AM
Hello... reb fraire, Maybe a family meeting might help where you could each discuss problems concerning the household budget, your mothers health and the help she requires, also how each of the people living in your household should contribute towards the daily running and upkeep of the house.

If you all have a chance to speak without interuption,each of you can bring their opinion to the meeting,after you have all spoken perhaps a decision can be made by all of you concerning the problems brought forward.

I hear no mention of the step father in this,I'm sure he has a valid opinion to be heard.When a family live together sharing everything in the same household, then it is essential that they also share costs, nothing is for free in this world we all have to pay our way in life.

The whole family needs this meeting to talk sensibly about the household management etc... bills will not pay themselves no more than food shelves will re-plenish,everything costs.

What you try to avoid in this situation is a full on shouting match,bought on purely by biult up frustration, this is why you must get together discuss these problems openly before a bigger problem arises.