View Full Version : Underage marriage
brandylee
Feb 1, 2007, 01:23 PM
I am 15 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 21 years old. Can he get in trouble if we try to get married?( I have a baby)
RubyPitbull
Feb 1, 2007, 01:29 PM
Brandylee, even though you are a mother, it has no bearing on whether you can get married. It depends on where you live. At your age, in most states it is either completely illegal or they require that you get parental/guardian consent. If you go to the town clerks office in your area they will tell you what the law is. If you find that you cannot get married, please don't consider lying on the marriage license. It won't be considered a legal marriage.
ScottGem
Feb 1, 2007, 01:36 PM
Brandy, if this 21 year old is the father of your baby, I'm surprised he's not in jail. In many areas, his having sex with you would be considered statutory rape.
However, the age of consent to marry does vary from area to area, so it might actually be legal to wed depending on where you live. An important fact you left out.
Fr_Chuck
Feb 1, 2007, 03:42 PM
You can not get in trouble for getting married, but of course in every state I am aware of your parents will have to sign for you to get married.
The fact you are 15 and have a baby, I am really surprised he is not in jail on rape charges, since the mere fact you have a baby is proof of it. The doctor, hospital and your parents had a duty and obligation to turn him in, The system has greatly done an injustice by not properly treating him for his actions.
CaptainForest
Feb 1, 2007, 08:17 PM
Brandy, if this 21 year old is the father of your baby, I'm surprised he's not in jail. In many areas, his having sex with you would be considered statutory rape.
If she is in Canada, that is not that surprising since age of consent is 14 here.
Brandy,
Can you marry him? Depends on where you live.
Most likely at 15 though, you will need your parent's permission and/or the courts permission.
For example, let's say you live in Ontario.
You can choose to marry on your own when you are 18.
If you are 16 or 17, you need your parent's permission to marry (or you can go the legal route via the court system).
If you are 15 or younger, you MUST have the courts permission (and also your parent's because if your parents are against it, the courts will be too most likely).
ScottGem
Feb 2, 2007, 06:24 AM
Even where the age of consent is lower, often the difference between ages is looked at. So a 16 yr old having sex with a 15 yr old might not be prosecuted where a 21 yr old having sex with a 15 yr old would.
karasuma
Feb 7, 2007, 11:11 PM
*sigh* I remember when I was 15. We talked about getting married over in Ireland, because you can marry when you're 15 over there.
WHAT a mistake. If I had married or even just STAYED with the guy I was in love with (really in love with) at 15, I would be miserable and living below the poverty line, NOT in University and NOT with the most amazing guy on earth right now.
Ok, so you had a kid, but that doesn't mean you've got to walk down the aisle. Marriage is a binding legal contract, not just a vow of love. You've got all the time in the world to get married, so stick around and see if he's really right. If you hit the legal age without parental consent where you are and you're still with the dude and HAPPY, then go for it. Until then, just sit back and let the years take care of you both.
MrsHarris
Feb 18, 2007, 09:08 PM
i am 15 years old and i have a boyfriend who is 21 years old. can he get in trouble if we try to get married?( i have a baby)
Even if you are a mother, you cannot marry anyone with that big of an age difference. It's not legal. 3-5 years older, depnding on the state, to be legal. After that sex is considered statuatory rape and marriage will not be an option. If your relationship is really that strong, just wait until you're 18.
sexybeasty
Feb 18, 2007, 09:20 PM
i am 15 years old and i have a boyfriend who is 21 years old. can he get in trouble if we try to get married?( i have a baby)
I cannot understand what your circumstances are that you would want to grow up and have a family at fifteen. Believe me, you will not be remotely the same as you are now and will think completely differently ten years from now and twenty years away... forget it!
Having the baby is one thing. I hope and pray you are mature enough to give this baby the love and care and devotion that he or she deserves. If you have any doubts, adoption is an answer and you can make it an open adoption so that you have a say in your child's future. You would be doing a good and noble thing.
I hope you understand that your boyfriend can go to prison and be charged with a sex offense for being with you sexually, even though it was consentual. You are underage. You need to be thinking about getting good grades, graduating high school and what you will be taking in college... not marriage and diapers. It is not too late to make good decisions. Give everybody a chance and show character by giving the baby to equipted people and moving on to a better place in life.
Pray on it and blessings to you sweetheart. Marriage is not the answer.
Sbattista42389
Apr 12, 2007, 01:17 PM
Even if you are a mother, you cannot marry anyone with that big of an age difference. It's not legal. 3-5 years older, depnding on the state, to be legal. After that sex is considered statuatory rape and marriage will not be an option. If your relationship is really that strong, just wait until you're 18.
I am 16 and I just got married 2 months ago... he is 22 and it doesn't make any difference on the years... you have to have one parent sign and no he will not get in trouble I just wouldn't say anything about the baby... then get married and have the child. I got married because I love him... and it's the best thing I've ever done don't let people on here tell you what's right or wrong... if you think he is the one for you... then do it! If however anyone says anything you can get in trouble and he can be put in prison! I love my hubby and I'm glad we did it! Good luck!
ScottGem
Apr 12, 2007, 02:14 PM
I am 16 and i just got married 2 months ago.... he is 22 and it doesnt make any difference on the years... and its the best thing ive ever done dont let people on here tell you whats right or wrong...
I wish you all the luck in the world, but come back in 5 years and then tell us it's the best thing you ever did. The odds are that you won't be able to. In two years, when your friends are sowing their wild oats and you are tied down, you may feel very differently.
As for letting people tell someone else, what's right and wrong, that's part of what we do here. Some things are clearly either black or white. Other things have shades of gray.
Squiffy
Apr 12, 2007, 02:22 PM
You won't get in trouble for 'trying' to get married, whether you actually can marry is up to the laws where you are.
Good luck to you, but remember, if you two are meant to be together forever you will be, regardless of any piece of paper.
Sbattista42389
Apr 16, 2007, 06:18 AM
I wish you all the luck in the world, but come back in 5 years and then tell us its the best thing you ever did. The odds are that you won't be able to. In two years, when your friends are sowing their wild oats and you are tied down, you may feel very differently.
As for letting people tell someone else, what's right and wrong, that's part of what we do here. Some things are clearly either black or white. Other things have shades of gray.
Okay well... just to let you know I can get into clubs and bars now so I'm kind of sowin my wild oats and I don't have to wait and the people I hang out with are over 19 so it really doesn't matter cause they will be settled down by then along with me...
P.S. You're a BUTTHOLE!! Just to let you know that's not gray is it??
NeedKarma
Apr 16, 2007, 06:20 AM
... the people i hang out with are over 19 so it really doesnt matter cause they will be settled down by then along with me.......
Most likely not - these days people are getting married and having children much later in life than they ever had in the past.
ScottGem
Apr 16, 2007, 06:57 AM
okay well... just to let you know i can get into clubs and bars now so im kinda sowin my wild oats and i dont have to wait and the people i hang out with are over 19 so it really doesnt matter cause they will be settled down by then along with me.......
P.S. YOUR A BUTTHOLE!!!!!!!!!!! just to let you know thats not gray is it????
Thank you, you have just proven my point. You are obviously too immature to be married. The fact that, at 16, you going into clubs and bars (illegally) is just one indication. Your insult (in violation of the rules here) is another.
Forget waiting 5 years, come back in 2.
talaniman
Apr 16, 2007, 07:00 AM
I am 16 and i just got married 2 months ago.... he is 22 and it doesnt make any difference on the years... you have to have one parent sign and no he will not get in trouble i just wouldnt say anything about the baby... then get married and have the child. I got married because i love him... and its the best thing ive ever done dont let people on here tell you whats right or wrong... if you think he is the one for you.... then do it! If however anyone says anything you can get in trouble and he can be put in prison! i love my hubby and im glad we did it! good luck!
Please let us know how things are after the honeymoon is over.
talaniman
Apr 16, 2007, 07:04 AM
i am 15 years old and i have a boyfriend who is 21 years old. can he get in trouble if we try to get married?( i have a baby)
Just curious as to is he the baby's father? Your child is the first priority in your life now, and where in the world do you live, so you can get the truth as to how your laws apply to you.
Also curious as how long you've known this fellow?
robertsqueen
Apr 16, 2007, 08:22 AM
Okay... wow I am shocked you are fifteen years old and you have a baby? Do you raise the baby all by yourself? How old is the baby? Just curious. I think that you need to wait to get married right now. You have your whole life ahead of you... why rush? My husband and I waited until after a year until we married.. just to make sure that was what we wanted to do. You don't have to get married because you have a baby. Also what does your parents think about the baby's father? He is twenty-one and is with a fifteen year old. I agree with chuck's post about how our system has failed us... he should have been reported.
Sbattista42389
Apr 18, 2007, 06:00 AM
Thank you, you have just proven my point. You are obviously too immature to be married. The fact that, at 16, you going into clubs and bars (illegally) is just one indication. Your insult (in violation of the rules here) is another.
Forget waiting 5 years, come back in 2.
No what's immature is you thinking that your so high and mighty that you can tell everyone what's right and wrong... and its not illegal that I'm going into bars and clubs because it's a Texas law! In 2 years ill be a nurse... just to let you know I've already graduated high school! Some peoples lifes are normal others aren't so people mature way earlier than others and one of those people is me! So I'm sorry I don't fit into your perfect world! But I think my world is pretty perfect!
Tuscany
Apr 18, 2007, 06:14 AM
Sweetie,
Those harsh words for Scott are completely unnecessary. He is just offering his opinion on your situation. Remember you came here and asked us to share our opinions. He is correct, going to a bar at 15 without parental supervision is illegal. It is a FEDERAL law that you must be 21 in order to consume alcohol and 18 to be in a bar unsupervised by an adult. Therefore it does not matter if you live in Texas, Idaho, or New York City. It is the law of the USA, so as long as you reside on US soil, the law applies to you as well.
It is very commendable that you were able to graduate from high school early, and even more commendable that at 15 you know what you want to do with the rest of your life. But honestly, what is the rush with getting married. If you are committed to one another, how is a piece of paper going to change that? Why not wait until you are older, you have your nursing career underway, and have some money saved in the bank, and your child is older. Your persectives will change as time goes by, and what you want now, might not be what you want in a couple of years. Trust me...
ScottGem
Apr 18, 2007, 06:14 AM
and its not illegal that im going into bars and clubs because its a texas law!
Excuse me? According to this:
Legal Drinking Age (http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/LegalDrinkingAge.html)
The legal drinking age for Texas (and the whole US) is 21! So either you don't know what you are talking about or you are lying.
And no, I don't think I am so "high and mighty", but I do have the benefit of life experience that you lack. That's part of the purpose of this site, to share our life experiences.
NowWhat
Apr 18, 2007, 07:44 AM
I got married at 22, my husband was a month away from 25. We have been married for over 11 years now. Have I ever thought I was to young - no.
But, I can tell you that I am not the same person as I was then. I have grown and matured.
I keep a journal and I have since I was 17. I, on occasion, look at what I wrote about back then. And sometimes - I think - what the heck was I thinking? They don't even make Bad soap operas about the things I would write. I just am not that person anymore. What seemed so important at that time in my life - doesn't even make it to the top 10 now.
I believe that what is meant to be will be. If you are supposed to be together and have an undying love one another - what is the harm in waiting? If at 18 you still want to be married - then fine - I would still wait though. What is wrong with being single? What is wrong with figuring out who you are?
Even now, I sometimes forget who I am. I know I am a wife and mother - but beyond that - who am I? As an individual?
Getting married now - you will lose yourself - more so because you don't really know who you are yet.
Sbattista42389
Apr 18, 2007, 12:13 PM
Excuse me? According to this:
Legal Drinking Age (http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/LegalDrinkingAge.html)
the legal drinking age for Texas (and the whole US) is 21! So either you don't know what you are talking about or you are lying.
And no, I don't think I am so "high and mighty", but I do have the benefit of life experience that you lack. That's part of the purpose of this site, to share our life experiences.
maybe you are older and more mature... but I do go and drink and it's a law here! Almost every bar I've been too lets me in unless they don't know what they are talking about. I have LOTS of pictures from those nights! Just because you copy and paste something from the internet or read something doesn't mean its right! But you should know that! Ive already looked over that site when we were trying to find the law but finally we just called a random bar and asked and they said that as long as ai had my husband with me it would be fine. Sorry I called you high and mighty! I didn't look at it from your perspective!
ScottGem
Apr 18, 2007, 12:32 PM
The sites I linked to state what the law is. Any bars that let you in at 16, especially if they serve you liquor are violating the law. There is NO question about that.
Yes, you can't believe everything you see on the Net, but this is verified by several sites. I'm not saying that you aren't getting in, but any bars that let you in ARE breaking the law. It is NOT the law ANY place in the US. They may be thinking that having your husband with you makes him responsible not them. But its still a violation of the law.
Believe me I do wish you well and hope you prove me wrong. But I've seen too much in my years to believe that you will buck the odds.
talaniman
Apr 18, 2007, 03:30 PM
It is illegal in the state of Texas to serve or sell alcohol to anyone under 21. That's the law and your b/f can be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. A bar can lose its license to sell alcohol. Get your facts straight before you cost some one their freedom.
vlee
Apr 19, 2007, 11:10 PM
Hey all, as a former bar maid... I know of NO state that does not have a minimum age of 21 to drink legally. At 15, 16, or 17, all minors must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. Otherwise, the law is being broken and the bar could lose its liquor license. How certain states define a guardian is not in my handbook.
talaniman
Apr 20, 2007, 05:50 AM
Not to make excuses for any one, but here in the great state of Texas some of our more rural bars are nothing more than a barn run by the locals. Watering hole comes to mind in describing them, and the law is..?
NeedKarma
Apr 20, 2007, 07:08 AM
Not to make excuses for any one, but here in the great state of Texas some of our more rural bars are nothing more than a barn run by the locals. Watering hole comes to mind in describing them, and the law is ....................??I guess it's the same law as that older guy that buys beer/rum for the minors at the 7-11.
brittany_razorblade
Jul 9, 2007, 11:25 PM
i am 15 years old and i have a boyfriend who is 21 years old. can he get in trouble if we try to get married?( i have a baby)
Fist off I'm not trying to be rude I'm just a little bit older then you so I kind of understand the whole love thing because I'm engaged.
But I think you should wait until your older and get your life worked out.
That's what I'm planing on doing because I don't want to be married to a guy I find out later on down the line is a .
Your still young live your life.
You don't want to be burdend with a husband when you want to go to the clubs and flirt?
I don't know I just don't Texas law will let you get married with out parental signature and if your parents don't approve of this boyfriend you do understand they can put him in jail right?