I have been married to my husband for over four years. When we started dating I was 21 and had already had enough of the single party life, I was ready to settle down. It all happen so fast, after three months I was spending so much time at his place he asked me to move in with him, his logic was why spend all that money on your own place if you are here all the time. Very shortly after that he tells me he is done with Florida and wanted to move to South Carolina where he owned some property. This had just started and I was not ready to give up on it so when he asked me to go with him I said yes. Things where tough, I was a strong independent girl and now I was in a new place with a man I had known for a long time but had only just started dating. I found a job when I got here tried to make some friends, but it was still really hard. He was feeling the hardship too and even told me he didn't love me like he thought he should so we broke up. I moved back to Florida ad like a cat I landed on my feet. Got a roommate, a job, and friends. Shortly after he calls saying he was wrong and missed me and wanted me back. I told him I was not playing house anymore and the only way I would move back in with him is if I where his wife. So in just over a year, we got together, broke up, got engaged and got married, and two weeks later found out I as pregnant.
I told you all that to let you know I was way too young to be making all the decisions that I made. I didn't really know myself and I didn't know what to look for in a man (the good and the bad). Since then, life has really done a number on me, but it has also brought me great joy; I guess you have to take the good with the bad. I now have two children and I am a stay at home wife, I had always dreamed of being the one to raise my kids and not drop them off at a daycare. Sounds great I know, but I am under my husband's heel. Every little thing is all about him, where we live, his wants; his instant gratification is the up most importance. He controls what we eat, how our home is decorated, what activities we participate in, how often we have sex, he even tries to control how I dress. I am a managed wife, I am his baby maker, I am his hoar, I am his maid. He has no empathy for me or other people; he takes no care in the things he says to me, he says I am a baby for needing to have things sugar coated. He tells me all the time he can do anything better than I can, he says if he didn't know he could make more money than I could, then he should be the stay at home parent. Then the house would always be spotless, meals would be served how and when he wants them, and our son would be more advanced, these are his words not mine. O, and our son is perfect just as he is, he is well spoken, smart, and is getting better and better every day at potty training. He is over critical, and has expectations that no one can match, not even him. When I and/or anyone don't meet his expectations we are very difficult people to live with and/or work with. I fear now he is going to lose his job, he just started a new job and he has this air about him like he knows all, they are not happy with him and they do not think he knows all.
I believe my husband is a Narcissist. I read a blog about a woman going through a divorce from a man who she believed to be Narcissist, and she posted a link to an article about Narcissist. Without exaggerating it is him to a T. To make sure I was not exaggerating I wrote down specific times and noted how frequently these behaviors occur. I felt so validated, so relieved that this isn't all me. There was a link that talks about Narcissist Husbands, this page was telling people how to deal, but I don't know if I have anything left. The article says how to do it, but at the end it then tells you that you have to be strong minded and put in a little more effort.
The problem is I don't know if I have anything left. I'm a christian woman and the bible says the lord hates divorce; the idea of my getting a divorce sickens me. The bible also says wives you should submit to your husbands, which would be easy for me if I didn't think my husband was such an arrogant moron. I dread when he comes home from work, when he calls I don't want to answer, and at the end of every phone call after he says he loves me (doesn't even sound real) I avoid saying it back to him.
I do love him, without him I would not have the two best kids in the world, but I am not in love with him. I want to thank anyone who took the time to read this and would like any feedback you could give me. I need a push, a push to save my marriage or a push to save myself.

If you want to look at this from a religious standpoint, THIS (http://www.gracecentered.com/unequally_yoked.htm) is a great site. But, as a mom, I would look at it this way...

Your children will get their idea of what a relationship should look like and what is acceptable from what you show them with their father. Do you have a daughter? Would you ever want to see a man treat her the way she watches her father treat you? Do you want your son to think it is okay to treat women the way he sees his mom being treated? No one should tolerate abuse, and this sounds like emotional and verbal abuse. No one should allow their children to be hurt by abuse and its effects. I don't think anyone could tell you what you should do in this situation, but I think that your first priority here is the health and well-being of your children.

Yes you do have children and yes they are a priority,but so are you, you have to remain strong for them.
The love seems to have gone from your marriage purely because of your husbands attitude,which is always very sad.You, if you choose to stay with him will have a very lonely sad life, especially when your children have grown and gone.

I can see having read your post that there is no way that your husband would agree to any form of councilling,as far as he is concerned, he is always right and you are always wrong.Even the two of you over a lovely evening meal,wouldn't see eye to eye for the same reason.

What worrries me is,the moment he gets wind of anything other than the norm at home, he will turn even more,taking the children away from you and kicking you out with nothing.

I think this situation will not change.I think you also need to speak to family or a close friend that you can trust,someone who is able to put all of you up until you can get things sorted out for you and the children... a safe haven is what is needed.

You must plan this move very carefully in every detail,waiting for when he has left for work knowing when he will return,making sure you are saftely away from him within the hours between.

Once you are settled and have had time to think clearly, you can then decide upon your options,your priority at this time has to be the safety of your children and that of yourself.

I would normally say seek help from councillers and alike,not wishing the marital home to be split,but in this instance, I think to stay together would be of more harm to the children and yourself,he is clearly a control freak to put it mildly.Go as soon as you possibly can... takecare

If your religion makes you submissive, and subservient, then talk to a religious leader, and get clarification, and counsel. No religion I know of allows you to be lead down a path of misery and pain, and the onus is on the man to make a good example to follow.

If he does not, then tell him so, and leave him if this does not bring about healthy change, and the right adjustments.

No bible says you have to allow, or follow bad behavior, so don't.