Hello, thank you in advance for any answers that come up. I have been in a relationship with my now ex girlfriend for 10 months. All had been great up until the 9 month mark. It felt as if we hit a brick wall, communication ceased, we didn't spend as much time together and so on and so forth.

Last week we had a long talk and she said she was unsure of what she wanted. She is going back to school (RN, very time consuming) and says she isn't sure she can handle a relationship. The next morning, I woke up to go to work and there is a good morning, I love you text from her. We have been talking still 2-3 times a day and still seeing each other when time permits. Absolutely nothing has changed. I brought up our status last night and asked her "What are we doing?, "are we together?" Her reply was she was unsure of what she wanted and she needed time. I brought up a no contact proposal, she said she was too afraid of losing me from her life.

2 days later, no changes. I have not called her once, but do my best to pick up the phone when she calls, work does not always permit (brand new firefighter/paramedic). I am starting to get more and more depressed not when I do not hear from her, but when I do. She wants to plan a vacation, but I feel conflicted as to whether or not to do it. I want nothing more than to be with her, but am afraid to lay down the law in this situation. I want to tell her not to call me or text me until she is ready to commit to a relationship, I'm not proposing marriage, just a committed relationship, which honestly isn't any different than what we have now, aside from a title.

I just do not feel that I can continue a casual dating/convenience boyfriend role any longer, and I feel as if I am being taken for a ride. Thank you again in advance for any advice.

Just a side note... I have no intentions of leaving her or making her life more stressful while she is in school, but I am in a living hell. This is not the first time she has been in school while we have been together either, I don't understand the sudden change. There were no arguments leading up to this, just a rapid decline in the "feel" of the relationship.

Are you prepared to walk away from this relationship?

If you're not, all you can do is tell her you want a commitment and wait for her to decide what to she wants.

If you really cannot stand the "convenience boyfriend role", you're going to have to decide how long you wait wait for her, and after that time commit yourself to moving on with your life.

I can imagine she is bored with her life and looking to see what else is out there, but she's doing that without letting you go, making you a safety net she can return to when the feelings of the unknown start to creep in.

She dumped you but keeps you around as her emotional tampon, so she won't be lonely as she weans herself off her attachment, yet is still free to pursue other options if they present themselves. That's not confusing, as many have done this same thing for centuries.

Its called "having your cake and eating it too". " the guy version is "why buy the cow when the milk is free?". You have become an option while she seeks new priorities, and you can hang around all you want and be treated like a second class jilted lover, or you can keep your dignity, and self respect, and leave her alone, and do your own thing.

That's called manning up, and doing what's right for you. Why is living in hell a viable option??