I am 28 yr old male never married or never was in relationship. I am very stable and successful person though. I am from east India and do have some cultural influences but now that I am in America since last 5 yrs and will always be, things are different.
I am physician .
I have thought a lot about my decision about marriage.

I am almost concluding that marriage is not for me. I agree that I do have trouble maintaining relationships though I never had one seriously. I appreciate beauty of women a lot and I know that I will have a lot of women in my life. I just don't want to screw up my marriage because I can't give my full love to who ever it will be.. But if I do get married, I will however try to be as honest and loving to my wife.. But that will be only considered my duty and I don't know how much will I actually like it.Not to mention divorce is not in my dictionary.

I also hate responsibility that comes with marriage. I also don't like to have children.. I love them but that's again a lot of responsibility. Also after marriage, I will have to make any decisions considering the whole family. I think its like losing my freedom.

I haven't told my feelings to anybody so far because they will think I am crazy..

I am asking you this question because I am confused myself. Because I am already 28, I have to make a decision in next few months if I do want to get married.

I like being lonely and enjoy it.. Not sure if this is healthy though.. As you know my profession involves meeting lot of people and having good communication and conversation skills, I do those but as a part of my duty.. My personal life is lot different.

I don't want to regret later in my life because of the decision that I will be taking now.. I do know that this is the right time to make a decision.. I know that marriage with kids brings a lot of satisfaction, stability and happiness for everybody else.. Not sure of me.. I do feel lonely sometimes though.


Is this normal? Do you think my feelings and decisions will change in later part of the life? I have had debate with lot of people about these but all of them have been married and hence I get skewed answers."

It happens. I used to feel that way but I found a man who for some reason managed to make me believe in soul mates. We have plans to get married. I would have certainly have regretted it if I would not have given him a chance. Love is not a chore and yes it may be a bit of a struggle when you are married but I do honestly believe it would be worth it. Think about it. Imagine yourself in forty years or even fifty. What do you see? A happy man? A lonely man? Think of this and you may realize what you really want. You are apparently financially stable so it would not be a financial issue for marriage. Divorce is not a problem if you truly love that person and they love you because then there will be no divorce. Also, if you choose to marry, I'd suggest you start dating someone who works in the same type of job as you. That way, they will understand you better if you need to leave for a while because of work and you may have more in common. Good luck.

You don't indicate whether you are willing to live with a woman for a while. Many in America do that before making decisions about marriage.
I agree with the previous responder about finding someone who also has a very busy work schedule, so that she isn't home alone feeling lonely.
Divorce may not be in your dictionary, but if a spouse wants one all her or she has to do is file to get one, so you have no choice these days.
28 is young, and I don't know why you say you have to decide in the next few months. What's that about? Is a woman you like talking about her biological clock ticking?
Lastly, you are forthright here and sound capable of saying the same to any woman you like enough to talk with about the future. So lay your cards on the table when a relationship starts to get serious. (You will find women who say they don't mind, because they are thrilled at the idea of marrying a doctor, so be careful.)

It sounds like you are torn between traditions of your homeland and the freedom from cultural traditions the US offers. I can understand if your family is putting pressure on you to settle down and marry. It is one of the things a traditional family does. However, it does not mean you have to make a life altering decision today. You can tell them you aren't ready to marry, yet. Be honest about creating a stable foundation to build the rest of your life on.

You may enjoy your 'me' time at this point in your life because it has been somewhat limited. It is something that may change as you begin to allow non-work related interests to gain importance. You have put a lot of time and energy (and probably money) into becoming a physician and beginning your practice. I doubt you have put as much focus on relationships. As you become stable in your work, you will probably begin to have more of an interest in your social life. It is about finding a balance.

Date females you want to be around. Don't date them just because they look a certain way or are in the same field you are. Keep in mind that those who have the same busy schedule you have will probably be less flexible in finding time to spend time with you.

Enjoy being single. At 28, you have a lifetime ahead of you to meet people, make friends, date, etc. Keep an open mind about your future.

There is no requirement to be married, if you are not willing or able to give yourself completely to another person, then you have not meet the right person

No need to make a decision about marriage until you FIND the person YOU want to marry.