So my boyfriend of just 2 months went back to see his kids whom he hadn't seen in almost a year and a half. He hadn't seen his ex in a year - he never told me exactly why they divorced only that he didn't cheat and she was very controlling. We spent a lot of time together and until this came up before he left -- things were going great. The trip gets closer and things started getting weird. I noticed that he barely mentioned me if at all when she would call and I just got very uncomfortable even being in the room when they would talk -- it just felt weird.

Shortly before he left we were at a concert with his family - ex calls and he tells her he is out with so and so blah blah and quietly, my name. I then hear him saying "I know I know don't worry" I let him have it and he explained how controlling his ex was and that he just didn't want her to mess up his visit with his kids.

So he leaves says he will be back in three weeks. I asked him several times if we would be able to talk and text -- he was very reassuring saying every day. The day he left we literally went from texting at least 5 or 6 times a day (we lived 3 hours away) To maybe once a day. Four days before he was supposed to come back - suddenly he gets a gig down there and will be there for three more weeks.

My pinning ceremony comes and goes without even a text (I just graduated nursing school). Now he said he will be gone another week. During this time he would text at 9pm saying goodnight -- when I know he doesn't go to bed that early.

I told him several times hey if its not over with the ex just tell me -- be honest. He repeatedly denied it and said how much he loved me but he had to take the work etc whatever. So I laid it all out the other day - and just told him that my intuition was that he was over there playing house with his ex, and that I wasn't going to ignore the fact that his words didn't match up with his actions, and that I didn't believe or trust him.

Strangely enough I got a text back four hours later saying he had just gotten his phone back from his kids -- saw that I texted but all the messages had been deleted. I didn't get back to him until the next day after he texted me a few times and I just really laid it out - resent the orig "deleted" message - he didn't even bother to call -- he texted back saying he was sorry I was feeling that way and that he missed and loved me and that while he was thinking of moving back it was for his kids not his wife that they still argue and don't see eye to eye on a lot of things.

I decided that was it and just broke up with him -- I tried to call and he didn't answer so I did it over text.

I really feel that I made the right choice though I probably could have executed it better -- telling him via phone at least but I was afraid he would have some lame excuse - charm me and keep me here waiting while he is there ignoring me. All that being said -- Im still really upset and am second guessing myself. I really felt a connection with this person (I've been divorced and largely single for 3 1/2 years).

This was the first person in a really long time that I felt okay to be vunerable with and I'm afraid I jumped the gun.

Three hours away means he has to go for three weeks? Just for starters, that was some sort of writing on the wall. There was no need for it. I'm afraid something drew him back, no matter what. Maybe she inherited a lot of money, who knows, but I doubt it. I think she sweet talked him and he started seeing the past as not so bad after all, and he did regret not being involved with his kids. Maybe the subject of children had come up with the two of you? That might have prompted it too.

He's been stringing you along just in case it doesn't work out (chances are it won't). You need to be firm in your resolve if that happens. Talk about playing both sides; who needs it.

So he lives 3 hours from me -- he is 1500 miles from his children. Thanks for your reply -- I feel like I definitely made the right decision in ending it.

You made the right decision. He was obviously a liar its painfully obvious. Its too bad some relationships must end but this is for the best. Careful to not lket him sweet talk you back. Do not worry when the time is right you may find the man you are meant to find just relax and enjoy life. You were born without him and so you can continue without him. Good luck :)

You did the right thing for yourself all right, he has unfinished business with the ex, and you shouldn't be around while he does. He could have been honest, but I don't think he was, and for that reason, you got lucky early. Two months? Better that than 10.

First let me congratulate you on your graduation from Nursing School. That's a feat in and of itself.

In the end, you did the right thing. He has too much baggage for you.

Thank you so much for your feedback -- I have been so busy with school and being a single mom its been a while since I've dated. I haven't heard a peep from him since and frankly before I met him -- my life rocked and after -- it still rocks. It was tough to go with my gut when he was totally denying what was going on but I actually feel like it was absolutely the right decision - though a bit late looking back. It was really helpful to get feedback from individuals who are impartial to the situation and can look at it without any emotions involved. He wasn't the right guy but honestly -- I do believe he is one more close to the one that is! I was definitely feeling saddened by the whole thing and had a lot of self doubt but in the end - it didn't change my belief that my best friend is out there -- I just haven't found him yet!

Thanks!

PS My boards are on the 19th -- wish me luck!

PS My boards are on the 19th -- wish me luck!

You'll rock the boards!! I took mine a short 3 years ago at the tender age of 44. If I can do it, you can too!

What kind of nursing do you want to do? I am in Labor and Delivery.

I certainly hope so!! Im actually going into hospice -- I was a labor doula and love L and D however -- I also know that when things go south - they can happen really fast and it would be tough for me to see that. Kudos! Uterus' are AMAZING!!

Hospice nurses are wonderful. The one who sat with me and my dad as he lay in bed, dead, while we waited for the funeral home, was great. She sat next to him on the bed and chatted away in a nice voice while patting his leg, as she talked about her job, about death, about life. It softened the stark memory of him dying as I was trying to help him stand that morning.