I have been dating my girl for over 3 years now, in that time I have put on about 30 lbs and my appearance has begun to get to a point of action. I have been lifting and feeling much better about myself but she tells me that I'm missing the spark and my confidence around her. My personality has not changed around anyone but her and her family, mainly because when I would do crazy spontaneous things or crack little jokes I would get dirty looks and "do you ever use your head" lines. The answer is no because I'm living in the moment and just being happy, but I have found myself toing my personality down because of the constant looks and "tanked" attempts at making her laugh. She tells me I'm no longer myself because I am not the person she "fell in love with". I feel like I am caught in a catch 22 here and need some advice...

(yes I have said everything here to her and have really seen minimal change so far... about 2 weeks)

Your change in behaviour towards her and he family is probably a bit more dramatic than you realize. I really don't think the issue is around your additional 30lbs, although it's possible that is a convenient scapegoat to saying "things have changed between us".

After 3 years, it's possible that you and her are simply not moving in the same direction anymore. That "spark" she says is missing is really the chemistry you shared before you got comfortable with each other.

Do some soul searching and look inside yourself to see what has changed.

Are these changes positive, or negative?
Are you so self-conscious around her and her family that you are sabotaging yourself?

I think you should have a positive approach to everything in life. Life is simply much better that way.

Many people wish away a few extra pounds when they look in the mirror, but if you can look in the mirror and be happy with who you are, you're on your way to being a great guy that others (including your girlfriend) will want to be around.