It was 2011 October, I visited my friend who was older than me, she had an accident, I saw a guy that day which was my friends cousin, I fell in love with him and we started chatting and meeting at my house, but I had a boyfriend who was always in jail for stupid things he do, and when my boyfriend got billed me and the other guy stopped meeting but we always contact each other, because my boyfriend keep me locked, he never want me to talk to a friend even, and it was 2011 Jan 11th the day we broke up, and I departed to Australia leaving him, I started to talk to that other guy again, his name is nick and we got in a relationship, we never met each other after we got in a relationship, After 20 days I again departed to New york, and we were doing great until I got my holiday and left to the city I lived,I didn't meet nick though, cox he was away in a business meeting for a month,but I met this guy who was nick's friend [ dreak ], we started hanging out, but we were nothing more than friends, and one night in his room it just happened and after that we always meet like a couple and we even had sex, and now he love me and even I think I love him, and I told everything to my boyfriend except for the part that I had sex, but he still loves me and he want me to leave this other guy, but I can't do that either cox I also love him.. how can I love both at the same time?? Am so confused and I don't know what to do... can anyone plx help me? Am sorry for the long question

You are living through, and with, the confusion and emotional turmoil of having two men on the go at the same time. Three people in a triangle, where nobody knows where they stand, or where they will end up.

If it is possible for you to let them both go, and allow yourself time on your own without having to be committed to either of them, then that is my advice to you.

Remember that you don't need to be in a relationship. And you particularly don't need to be in two relationships at the same time.

Time apart from both, will give you back your own sense of direction, and some perspective on how you ended up in this position, and hopefully what you are going to do to resolve it.

My advice to you is to to be honest about this whole thing, and tell these men that you are not going to have any contact with either of them for a certain amount of time- i.e. a month.

Give yourself the gift of time to find your footing again, and figure out what you want, and you may find that you are simply not willing or wanting to be with one or the other. Maybe you don't want to settle down with one man, for reasons that will be entirely your own. Under your own steam.

Thank you jake, I know dating at a same time isn't very good, but I have tried to stop and every time I fail, it seems impossible to go on without contacting them,

I appreciate your honesty in your reply Shahu.

You have actually confirmed what I think is the best course of action here, and that is, to be on your own for a while.

It may seem impossible, and you admit to a history of trying to stop but failing, and I realize the confusion and mixed up emotions you are going through, but...

You are capable, and you are strong, and you can put a plan together to sort out your own life, until you are ready to add the complication and commitment required to any relationship.

Really take your time and put yourself first. Realize that the best gifts you can give yourself are independence and strength and knowledge. That comes with having the discipline to stand on your own two feet, and call your own shots. The only promises you have to make right now, are to yourself. Think about your future, and where you want to be and what you want to achieve. Try not to allow yourself to be clouded and tied down to complicated relationships that will stand in your way.

When you regain that sense of self and direction, only then consider any man in your life. It should be a plus, not a minus, to what your goals are. Anybody you add to your life should be a strong, independent person in their own right, with their own goals; and each should compliment the other.

If all that you do right now is to find out who you are, and what you want in life, and how to go about directing it, you will set your standards a little higher, and your confidence will lead you not to accept anything, or anybody, that will get in your way.