Recently I was reading an answered question that kind of pissed me off. My boyfriend/fiance is totally OK with not going to strip clubs. He understands that I'm not comfortable with it. On the other hand I'm not a hypocrite, I wouldn't go to a male strip club either. But you see I know people who have gone to strip clubs and gotten more than just a lap dance if you know what I mean so women have valid reasons their boyfriends or husbands shouldn't go to strip clubs. Porn is kind of different even though it makes a lot of women upset when she finds her boyfriend is looking at porn, it is normal. So I guess my question is am I a crazy girlfriend because I ask my boyfriend not to go to strip clubs??

FYI- some guys will give up petty like that if they truly love you and know how it makes you feel.:D

So you let him look at porn but not go to strip clubs? Because you feel that is more "real"? I think you aren't crazy... a lot of girls won't let their men go to strip clubs, but him not putting up a fight sounds like he may be eager to please you, or conditioned! I used to work at a strip club and the girls aren't interested usually in any other men from the bar, and also the young ones have male chaperones that will kick a clients ! So I don't see why if you trust your man you wouldn't let him go... why not go together? Just to see how your man acts there... and you yourself will see its just a show.

Most guys won't even tell their wives/women they went, if they know it will cause problems. DUH. To each his own. Same with the porn. These are things that partners work out. And after 33 years of marriage, I have a problem with any female who says if you love me you would..! Personally if you cannot express yourself without the veiled ultimatums or threats, DON'T bring it up. I'm open to talking always, but take orders from no one. How about your husband telling you that? If you love me you would let me go to the shake a booty bar. How does that sound to you? Just me though.

You're not crazy.

But,

I think that if you don't trust your boyfriend enough to watch a show, there must be deeper trust issues between you two.

The worst case scenario you're imaging - him cheating on you with another woman - would require him to make a choice. He doesn't have to be at a strip club to make that choice if he's the cheating kind.

So you let him look at porn but not go to strip clubs? because you feel that is more "real"? I think you arent crazy...a lot of girls wont let their men go to strip clubs, but him not putting up a fight sounds like he may be eager to please you, or conditioned!! I used to work at a strip club and the girls arent interested usually in any other men from the bar, and also the young ones have male chaperones that will kick a clients ! So I dont see why if you trust your man you wouldnt let him go...why not go together? Just to see how your man acts there...and you yourself will see its just a show.
Here's a thought: Why would he want to go in the first place? Is he not happy with you? Why would he go and look at other women? Is he attracted to them, or is he stupid enough to throw away good hard earned money to any half naked woman?
Most strippers are only there to take a man's money anyway, not looking for a relationship.
You should really ask him some of these questions. If he rather go to strip bars rather than to a movie or dinner with you, then there is something wrong in your relationship.

Okay, I have to disagree with TMWP2000.

Entertainment is entertainment. You're pretty likely to get a half naked woman in a movie too, unless all you go to see are G rated movies, in which case you have other issues.

Would you go see a caberet show? A broadway musical? Any show whatsoever where women wear skimpy outfits and perform? How about... Cirque du Soleil? Or a rock concert?

The issue is TRUST, not naked women. If you don't TRUST your husband to be attracted to you, then that's YOUR problem. Personally, I found a strip club to be amusing, but with REALLY high priced drinks. Most of the strippers were really nice women, who had a great time joking with me while I was there. (I went with my husband and a group of friends, because I was wondering what the attraction was).

Expecting your husband to never look at another woman again because he married you is unrealistic. Sorry, but it is.

Expecting him to not TOUCH another woman in a sexual manner, though, that's realistic. Lookin' ain't touchin' (thank goodness, because I saw the yummiest guy walk through here the other day! ). Eye candy is eye candy.

The thing is, in a relationship, both parties have to define what is and is not acceptable behaviour. If you can't agree on that, then there's no trust, and basically no relationship.

Okay, I have to disagree with TMWP2000.

Entertainment is entertainment. You're pretty likely to get a half naked woman in a movie too, unless all you go to see are G rated movies, in which case you have other issues.

Would you go see a caberet show? A broadway musical? Any show whatsoever where women wear skimpy outfits and perform? How about....Cirque du Soleil? or a rock concert?

The issue is TRUST, not naked women. If you don't TRUST your husband to be attracted to you, then that's YOUR problem. Personally, I found a strip club to be amusing, but with REALLY high priced drinks. Most of the strippers were really nice women, who had a great time joking with me while I was there. (I went with my husband and a group of friends, because I was wondering what the attraction was).

Expecting your husband to never look at another woman again because he married you is unrealistic. Sorry, but it is.

Expecting him to not TOUCH another woman in a sexual manner, though, that's realistic. Lookin' ain't touchin' (thank goodness, because I saw the yummiest guy walk through here the other day!!). Eye candy is eye candy.

The thing is, in a relationship, both parties have to define what is and is not acceptable behaviour. If you can't agree on that, then there's no trust, and basically no relationship.
You are right on the TRUST, if you don't have that then you have no relationship. On the strippers, the mind setting is differeant than going to a broadway show. Your mind is on looking at these stippers with a sexual activities in your mind. Going to a broadway show or watching a movie the difference is that your going with your partner not with a bunch of guys. If you want to act on the sexual behaviros that you may have watching these shows, at least your partner is with you and your not hiding from it. There is some difference in them. But the number one thing is TRUST.

Hey ladies that's what guys do Hoot holler and drink beers, then come home to our lovely wives. My wife trust me too be home and be faithfull, No problem and if she wants to go to a concert no problem. Some people like pizza and some hamburgers. I like them both and hooting and hollering is appropriate in its time and place and just as tea and crumpets. Its about enjoying. Cheaters don't go to strip clubs, they go over to their mistresses house. To each his own.

Honestly, my fiancé agrees that he shouldn't go to the strip club. And he shouldn't be wasting money on women who get naked for a living because I am pregnant with his baby so screw that and like I said I don't go and neither does he we both sacrifice. Its all about compromise. I mean I don't like thinking about him looking at porn either but id rather him look at that's not in his face and in person. Its more tempting.
Yes I do have confidence issues that influence my feelings but you know he respects that. And some strippers do like the people they dance for I know guys who like I said before have gone pretty far with a stripper while she's on duty...
Thanks for the answers everyone

I think that womens' problems with porn and strip clubs comes from walt disney. Women are conditioned to live in this fantasy land where the man that loves you thinks you're perfect in every regard, and he's never going to think about anybody else. That's moose wonkey. The reality of the situation is that in this case, women who make a living looking good and dancing in a hot manner are going TO DO IT BETTER THAN YOU. Sorry, it's tough, I know, but it's reality. You're not the best looking woman in the world. Not even fifth best. Hell, I'll get dangerous and even argue that you're not even the best looking woman in the world to him. He fell in love with you for who you are, not what you look like. No guy goes to a strip club with the idea of having a relationship in mind. We want to get loaded and look at hot women and pretend like they all want us in sexual ways we can't imagine. Then we go home and realize why our women are actually there for us. Hopefully.

If he'd rather go to strip clubs often than hang out with you, it's a real problem.

I agree a little with everyone's post. I used to be the one saying, " I am not comfortable with you going, so dont". Well 6 years ago my boyfriend went on my birthday to a gentlemans club it was also my birthday. Yes that devistated the hell out of me, but I got the whole song and dance I didn't know where we were going, blah blah. Well needless to say we have a very exciting sex life and definitely have no problems. He doesn't ever go alone. We go together. I couldn't believe that I was there when I went with him, but we made a deal, we can do those things together, but there is no need for neither of us to go alone... He has watched porn alone, and so have I, but overall we enjoy those things together... call us freaks if you want, but we have a very trusting loving relationship. I have opened myself up to many things, and keep an open mind. It keeps him happy and our relationship great. Now, if there ever comes a time of cheating or anything to take that trust away, I am out the door plain and simple.. And overall will probably be my fault because I was so open minded... but hey its fun right now, and life is short.

I don't think there really is a right or wrong here, you just better make sure you match up with someone who shares the same view on this subject. There are men who just go for the entertainement of it, and there are men, like my husband, who just doesn't get a thing out of it. With him, it's a bit of an insult to have the women think they can "fool" him with their beautiful bodies, to hand over money. That's just how my husband sees it, and my view is, having a man desire to go to a strip club is not a characteristic trait that I personally value or respect. So, hubby and I match up on this one. Thankfully. Porn? That's a different story. Our cable bill might as well be a car payment LOL and that's just fine with me. (it's not really that high, but you get the drift)

I admire the women who work at these strip clubs and they deserve every dollar they get. Every blessed dollar ! Did you ever walk down the street and have some man oogle at you for a long period, imagine having to do that for hours and hours every night with 20 to 30 of them. Not enough money in the world for me. But good for them.

As long as you and your boyfriend are in agreement about this, you have nothing to worry about.
Just be sure that it was actually a discussion and not something he felt forced into agreeing to.

As long as you and your boyfriend are in agreement about this, you have nothing to worry about.
Just be sure that it was actually a discussion and not something he felt forced into agreeing to.
Trust and communication are so important in a relationship. taking your time and working out the rough spots before marriage can save a lot of shock and drama later also. The only porn in my house is with a full length mirror these days but back in the day whooooooooooo! As for strip clubs its been awhile but when cousins or good friends come to town the men disappear for a few beers and some hoots and howlin', but my wife trust me so much that I can't imagine doing things she is totally against. But as I said its up to the partners to decide the lifestyle they live and to do that is a lot of talking.

Thank you for seeing it somewhat like I do. I'm pretty sure that my fiancé and I are in agreement about this. I mean I do think that I have issues that I need to deal with but I believe I will still feel the same as I do now about strip clubs.
I don't really respect strippers because they degrade themselves for quick cash something that I would never do. Honestly if my fiancé went to a strip club I feel that I would be allowed to go be a stripper. I know he wouldn't like that. I mean if he is allowed to have women's bodies naked in his face then I should be allowed to put my body in other mens faces. I know that most guys wouldn't be able to take their gfs doing like that. So I hope this helps more see through my eyes...
Still reading

Hi Ash,

That's pretty funny stuff there, the way you turned that table. Yes, can almost imagine, asking the boyfriend to be a dear and give you a lift on to the stage and make sure the dj plays your favorite song, so you can do your thing, may not going over real big. Too funny.

As far as the girls go, try and put yourself in their shoes (heels and all ). I would be somewhat surprised if any of those girls, when they were younger, were asked "and what would you like to be when you grow up, and they answered "a stripper". There are girls that do enjoy it, but for the large majority, the days leading up to them getting on stage were more than difficult. Most fell on some serious hard times, and are doing there darn best just to survive. I do believe, if those girls were giving half a shake of a chance, they would more than jump at the opportunity to not be on that stage. Just be grateful, that you never had to make such a choice.

It sounds as though you have your boyfriend's ear and heart. Keep those lines of communication open and this is a great thing that these issues are being talked about prior to marriage.

Just a little tip: You may want to invest in a pair of those heels and give him his very own private show, Valentine's Day is coming up ;)

I agree with Allheart for Valentines Day. I recently purchased a stripper pole for my bedroom, and the outfit and heels to go with it. Trust me, it's a very erotic thing dancing there and your man just looking you up and down with that quirky little smirking face. :)

recently i was reading an answered question that kinda pissed me off. my boyfriend/fiance is totally ok with not going to strip clubs.

Good for him. It's not like every guy goes to a strip club. In fact I would say most guys don't go to strip clubs on a regular basis. Is your boyfriends mind set the one that all men half to abide by? You've got a guy that fits your criteria for going to a strip club, but that doesn't mean it fits everybody else's. Nor does it mean that's it wrong.


he understands that im not comfortable with it. on the other hand im not a hypocrite, i wouldnt go to a male strip club either. but you see i know ppl who have gone to strip clubs and gotten more than just a lap dance if you know what i mean

Actually I don't know what you mean. Do you mean the guy felt her up or he had sex with her. If a guy told you he had sex with a stripper in a club, I'd bet he was lying.

Do you let your borfriend go to bars not populated by dancers? Because nobody would ever hit on anyone a regular bar, right?


so women have valid reasons why their boyfriends or husbands shouldnt go to strip clubs. porn is kinda different even though it makes alot of women upset when she finds her bf is looking at porn, it is normal.

So it is normal for a guy to look at naked women in photos but not in real life?


so i guess my question is am i a crazy girlfriend because i ask my boyfriend not to go to strip clubs???

FYI- some guys will give up petty like that if they truly love you and know how it makes you feel.:D

I don't think your crazy. I think you just have a guy that doesn't like going to strip clubs or if he does is willing to by pass them to make you happy. Truthfully I think most guys could tell there girlfriend they won't go to a strip club. But let me ask you this, lets say his friend is getting married and they are having a bachelor party at a strip club. Is he not allowed to go because you said so? Are you going to call his friend and tell him that your boyfriend can't go because you said he is not allowed in strip clubs per your wishes? Wasting your life and money in a strip club is pathetic but going once and a while is just like another night at any other bar.

honestly, my fiance agrees that he shouldnt go to the strip club. and he shouldnt be wasting money on women who get naked for a living becuase i am pregnant with his baby

Awesome. I'm glad your boyfriend is no longer supporting any art, theatre, movies, clothing designers, or doctors.


so screw that n like i said i dont go n neither does he we both sacrifice. its all about compromise. i mean i dont like thinking about him looking at porn either but id rather him look at thats not in his face and in person.

Yes that makes all the difference in the world if he's really going to cheat.


its more tempting.
yes i do have confidence issues that influence my feelings but ya know he respects that.

I agree that he is very respecting of you. I'm not even sure I would say you have confidence issues, I just feel like you have a lack of understanding about what really goes on in these places.


and some strippers do like the ppl they dance for i know guys who like i said before have gone pretty far with a stripper while shes on duty...
thnx for the answers everyone

Then you know a lot of guys trying to push your buttons. Strippers care about making money and she isn't going to waste her time screwing your friend Johnny in the back room because he thinks he's the man.

thank you for seeing it somewhat like i do. im pretty sure that my fiance and i are in agreement about this. i mean i do think that i have issues that i need to deal with but i believe i will still feel the same as i do now about strip clubs.

Just out of curiosity why did this issue even come up for you? It just seems like it had more to do with that question posed by someone else. If you really have confidences issues as you say (and even though I disagree with your view, I really don't see a huge confidence problem) it has a lot more to do then with a strip club?


i dont really respect strippers because they degrade themselves for quick cash something that i would never do.

Well I would never raped a child like some Catholic Priests would but that doesn't mean I disrespect the whole religion.

They degrade them themselves by who's standards? Las Vegas is the number one travel destination in the United States. That place is filled with shows that involve naked women. People spend TRILLIONS every year in Vegas and it's okay even celebrated but if a guy spends $20 locally he's going to a strip club. Either way it's entertainment. That's all it is.

You can go to a dance club and see the same thing only with woman clothed. Those same women can hit on your boyfriend and be undressed in 60 seconds. Are you honestly telling me that if you boyfriend wanted to cheat he would not be able to do it with anyone that wasnt' a stripper. And this is not a knock on him but why would he have a chance? Strippers are beautiful and get hit on all the time, so unless your going out with someone famous they are just blowing him off.

Side note not really related to this but I was in a strip club once with Magic Johnson. There was a man that could have had any stripper he wanted that night, and ironically enough he left with his friend and no ladies.


honestly if my fiance went to a strip club i feel that i would be allowed to go be a stripper.

That doesn't make any sense. That's like me saying I'm a member of the human race and if one member gets robbed than I can become a thief. If you were to say that if he went to a strip club you could go to a strip club then that would make sense. And maybe your boyfriend care if you did anyway. Your living by your standards not his.


i know he wouldnt like that.

You know you wouldn't like that. You can't speak for him.


i mean if he is allowed to have womens bodies naked in his face then i should be allowed to put my body in other mens faces.

Your line of reasoning is skewed.


i know that most guys wouldnt be able to take their gfs doing like that. so i hope this helps more see through my eyes...
still reading

Yes I get your point but you acting as though your boyfriend must act like everyone else. In fact your belief seems to be that all men are the same. You also seem to imply that if a man is approached by a beautiful woman he would just automatically jump in to bed with her. I can't believe I'm going to use this anology again, it's the third time today but I think Pam Anderson in incredibly hot. I wouldn't touch her if she was laying naked on my bed though. Pam Anderson the "actress" is entertaining. Listening to her talk is entertaining. Getting hepititus isn't. She's an entertainer. Strippers are entertainers.

Well chuff... I do know a guy who got head from a stripper while getting a private dance and the girls do touch you with their naked bodies. Your right that not all guys are the same but I was just talking about my particular situation. My thoughts on strippers degrading themselves still stands. I'm sorry but to me, my body is not something that I want everyone to see only the select few that I have felt close enough to. That is one thing that I respect more than anything else, my body. I mean some girls do have to do it for one reason or another but you know, they don't "have" to do it. Waitresses make decent money if you choose the right place. I would rather work at mcdonalds than show my body to everyone and their mother.
Anyway when a guy can go into a strip club get a lap dance where they can suck, touch some places and possibly more in a private room there's no wonder why me or any other female would hate that . I mean I do have some confidence issues and I can get extremely jealous.
The whole thing about seeing strippers and being a stripper... its not the same as thieves. If he can be that close to a naked woman and her touching him(not even him touching her) then es I would feel as if I was allowed to show my body and grind on whoever. Its really quite simple. And seriously no I wouldn't be OK with him going to a strip club for a bachelors party either. I sat him down and discussed this with him on a few occasions, he wouldn't like some naked guy all up on me even in a strip club. And yes he says that I could just be his personal stripper. I know it won't be the same or as good but maybe one day ill improve but these are my standards. If he didn't like how I want it to be then I guess he wouldn't be with me.
Oh and one more thing--stripping is not an art. No where near. Movies and paintings containing naked women is nothing that's art and entertainment. I don't like porn but you know my fiancé doesn't really watch porn all that much if at all... like I've said in a previous post we have a great sex life so were both pretty satisfied.
Thanks for your post

I can respect your position and glad you and your husband are on the same page. I really don't care what goes on in your house. I have enough great sex at mine. You will get better with those personal lap dances though if you practice. And personally watching those beautiful ladies bump and grind is great, but having sex with a total stranger, I don't think so for the very reason I would never cheat, that's adultry. Just curious what do you LET your husband do with he boys??

I agree with you 100% AshCash my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and he's going to a strip club with his friends. His been to stip clubs before but not while we've been together. So I told him I was cool with him going if he was cool with my going to a male strip club with my friends. He TOTALLY freaked out it was great. I had no intention to go and was just saying that to see his if he would change is mind about going but he didn't. So now I'm making plans with my friends to go to a male strip club even though I really don't want to go I don't want my boyfriend to think that he is free to see other girls naked while I have to sit home at home lonely! SCREW THAT!

For me I'm not cool with my boyfriend going to strip clubs or watching porn. He as well has agreed not to because he knows how much it would hurt me. Some may say me and anyone else that has my views are just too insecure, that could be part of it, but it's not the main reasons. I know one person mentioned on here that we are most likely not the most beautiful women in our guys life, I completely disagree. When a guy has a girl she should be the most beautiful women, her flaws and all. The flaws are exactly what makes a person beautiful. Any celebrity or stripper that 'seems' to be close to perfect.. they are no where near, it's all fake. They use all kinds of money just to get all those enhancements. Yes, in terms of what 'society' claims is beautiful, there will ALWAYS be someone that looks better.

On another note, it's not just about trust that women have with their men going to strip clubs. There are so many other ways guys can hang out together away from the women than going to strip clubs. Places that are a lot more ethical and won't be viewed as harmful to anyone.

I can probably forgive my boyfriend for most anything except obviously cheating on me and I know that I would either never be able to forgive or it would take a very long time for me to forgive him for going to a strip club.

Yeah I wouldn't have a relationship with a guy who likes to go to strip clubs. I think certain guys here have an obvious bias, and are trying to force their *opinion* on the OP. Whereas I don't see her trying to force her opinion. And she made some very valid points that seem to have been glossed over.

My advice to those guys is: "Great if you feel that way, then go find, (or if you already have one) stay with a woman that thinks your going to strip clubs is "Just Great". But don't try to force other women to agree with it.

PS. Well-known Lap Dances, and, ehem...."Private Rooms" aside... Since when is asking or paying another woman to strip for you not cheating? Wow, I would have thought for sure that counted.

PPS. Ladies, take heart. I know for a fact there are men who don't have to be cajoled in to not frequenting places like that. Some men think it's 'Gross'. Yes, happily married men, who like their wives!

PS. Well-known Lap Dances, and, ehem...."Private Rooms" aside... Since when is asking or paying another woman to strip for you not cheating? Wow, I would have thought for sure that counted.



Ever been to the doctor?

PS. Well-known Lap Dances, and, ehem... "Private Rooms" aside... Since when is asking or paying another woman to strip for you not cheating? Wow, I would have thought for sure that counted.

Most guys I know can't afford a lap dance, let alone a private room. Geez how many beers do you think you can buy, at the prie they charge?
If a guy is going to cheat, he is going to cheat, when and where, is not important.

For sure though this is one of those subjects that should be discussed before you tie the knot is the whole point. That's why its so important to communicate, and not just play kissy face.
If you don't want a man who goes to those places, don't date him. How simple is that? For sure don't marry one??

Most guys I know can't afford a lap dance, let alone a private room. Geez how many beers do you think you can buy, at the prie they charge?


Just because your friends are poor, that doesn't mean that other men aren't using what money they have to fund these activities, as they are in fact alive and thriving...



If you don't want a man who goes to those places, don't date him. How simple is that? For sure don't marry one??

You're kind of preaching to the choir here. Did you read my post? The first sentence was:



Yeah I wouldn't have a relationship with a guy who likes to go to strip clubs.

Just because your friends are poor, that doesn't mean that other men aren't using what money they have to fund these activities, as they are in fact alive and thriving...

The point was not to lump us all in the same bucket, just because we are men.


You're kind of preaching to the choir here. Did you read my post? The first sentence was: "Yeah I wouldn't have a relationship with a guy who likes to go to strip clubs"

Fine but every house makes its own rules and boundaries and I was speaking collectively, not personally.

The point was not to lump us all in the same bucket, just because we are men.

Geez, I didn't even do that. At least chastise me for saying all men are exactly the same when I actually do!

I'd just like to point out that I'm a WOMAN and I think that each house has its own rules--but that women who freak out about a guy going out with the guys to a strip club is overreacting.

If your guy freaked out and accused you of cheating for getting a massage from a male, would that mean that you were OBVIOUSLY thinking about some other guy touching you, in ways that your man just never did? I mean, you could just ask HIM for a massage, right? So why PAY someone to do it, right? I mean, paying for someone else to touch your body and make you feel good is CHEATING!

For heaven's sake--you either trust your guy or you don't. If you don't trust him to just be out with the guys, regardless where they go, then you have bigger issues than not liking strip clubs.

I'd just like to point out that I'm a WOMAN and I think that each house has its own rules--but that women who freak out about a guy going out with the guys to a strip club is overreacting.



Well you have an opinion. So do a lot of people. You know what they say, everyone's got one.

My opinion is if you like for your man to go to strip clubs then that really is great for you. You should continue to let your man do that. It has no impact on my life, so why should I care? I say bully for you! Have a great time with that. I'm sure there is no shortage of men who can fit that bill.

There's also plenty of men who have no desire to do it, and don't need to be cajoled.

However as a woman, that isn't my preference, nor is it of a whole lot of women that I know, and guess what? As a woman, I run my household, and let other women run their's however they see fit, without judging their preferences.

As a woman, I run my household, and let other women run their's however they see fit, without judging their preferences.

Does your partner not have a say, just to be clear??

The irony of this nonsense is so overwhelming, in every one of these "my boyfriend is going to see a naked woman posts, which is the exact same thing as having sex with another woman" you get the stories about the back rooms and extras from people who have never been to a strip club, and yet when called on this it turns into we are personally attacking someone. It kind of speaks to why a guy would actually want to cheat on someone, when that other person feels the need to be that controlling and not at all open to hearing the opposite *opinion* (notice how I but astericks around the word opinion for empathsis... you got me on that one, that was childish). I'm in no way a guy that goes to a strip club all the time, in fact I haven't been to one in years, but if I'm invited to a bachelor party and my girlfriend tells me that I have to stay home with her and watch sex in the city as opposed to go out and celebrate with friends for one night then I'm sorry but that's just not going to happen.

Speaking of sex in the city, as we know men are visual and women are emotional. Couldn't I make the same argument that my girlfriend going to see that movie is cheating on me, because it appeals to some deeper fantasy that she has? Come on, every movie theatre has a back room and I'm going on record as saying that in some movie theatre some where two people have had sex. Oh my God, I can't let my girlfriend out of the house now.

Couldn't I make the same argument that my girlfriend going to see that movie is cheating on me, because it appeals to some deeper fantasy that she has? Come on, every movie theatre has a back room and I'm going on record as saying that in some movie theatre some where two people have had sex. Oh my God, I can't let my girlfriend out of the house now.

Huh... Every movie theater has a back room where the very same actresses who've just finished posing naked and dancing provocatively in front of men who are there without their s/o's, are waiting. And they're willing to, for an extra fee, perform, um... special services, starting with rubbing their naked selves against him... hmmm, that's interesting Chuff. I wasn't aware of that. You're right, it's exactly the same thing.

Ha ha Chuff... You are the man! The comments you have are just great. It's very true, people have sex EVERYWHERE, so we bar our partners inside the house with ankle monitoring bracelets? Seriously, the more restrictions you put on someone the more likely to go out an experience LIFE! If you think your partner is up to something, next time he goes to the strip club, offer to go with him. I'm sure he has sat through enough of your love sap movies.

I agree with Tal also, does your partner have a say in things? I mean openly saying you "run the household"

Wow, did you actually read my post. I'll say this again *again*(<--emphasis). Men are visual, woman are emotional. Sex in the city does not appeal to men because even though it is a movie about women having sex, which according to you should be something we'd love, it's about the drama that comes with it, which men do not love. But the movie speaks to a woman's fantasy, not a mans.


Huh...

Let's start here. Your going to get Chuffed.



Every movie theater has a back room

I have no idea, I have not been to every movie theatre. But I'd guess that most of them do.


where the very same actresses

So far so good, we are in agreement that strippers are actresses who provide entertainment.


who've just finished posing naked and dancing provocatively in front of men who are there without their s/o's, are waiting.

Well, I'm not sure if you really didn't read my post for are just purposly going on. I said, sex in the city, which is a movie appeals to WOMEN at a deeper fantasy level. Most men don't care about the movie. So for the argument you are attempting to make, WOMEN who just finished watching a movie filled with drama and fantasy which appeals to a WOMAN are dancing emotionally around living out some provocative fantasy in front of men who work at the movie theatre without there significant others. Are women taking advantage of men in such a fashion... probably, but I can't let my girlfriend stay in the house forever.


And they're willing to, for an extra fee, perform, um...special services,

Where in the hell is this happening? I'm sure yes it does happen but it's not the norm as you are stating. But again, where is this happening.



starting with rubbing their naked selves against him

From one guy who has been to a strip club to one girl who hasn't, this is as far as it gets. If you even touch the girl you get thrown out. Happy to clear that up for you.


...hmmm, that's interesting Chuff. I wasn't aware of that.

I wasn't either, which again I ask where is this going on?


You're right, it's exactly the same thing.

Thank you, I appreciate you coming around.

[QUOTE]If you think your partner is up to something, next time he goes to the strip club, offer to go with him.

I have no desire to do that. But hey Rome, next time your partner wants to go to a male strip club, offer to go with her. In fact, why don't you just suggest it. What's good for the goose...


I'm sure he has sat through enough of your love sap movies.
You're so sure... but you're dead wrong. I don't go for that sappy love crap. He does.(Yawn.)


I agree with Tal also, does your partner have a say in things? I mean openly saying you "run the household"

Of course. It's never even been the smallest issue. And I already stated, (twice), that I haven't ever had a boyfriend who even likes to go to strip clubs. Believe it or not, there are plenty of men who have no desire to do that. I've never even had to ask him not to. My bfs have always tended to be the ones far more jealous and possessive than I. They get upset when I go to dinner with my friends. My man would've freaked if I ever told him I was going to some male strip club. Not that I want to anyway. But even if I did, I respect the other's feelings enough to not do that. I don't think of those concessions as "Ankle Chains" at all. I'm happy if my partner's happy.

And as far as all this sanctimonious talk about 'trust your partner'. I do. And he me. We trust each other not to pay other members of the opposite sex to take off their clothes and rub their genitals on us. And, guess what? See? Complete trust.

Hmm.. that's funny Chuff. First you labor on about refuting my points, then agree with them. It doesn't seem to me that you have any real point, but just trying to win a little pissing match. Ok, I'll let you win. I'm sure it's very important to you.

Hmm..that's funny Chuff. First you labor on about refuting my points, then agree with them. It doesn't seem to me that you have any real point, but just trying to win a little pissing match. Ok, I'll let you win. I'm sure it's very important to you.

Wow... just wow.

I've never been to a strip club. I'd like to go, just to see it, but the opportunity just isn't there.

I have, however, been friends with strippers. Believe me honey--they don't WANT your man. They dance provocatively because it gets them good money. They do lap dances (which, by the way, aren't anywhere NEAR as lewd as you think they are) because they pay well.

They don't go around trying to get your man to have sex with them--unless they're in Vegas, or something. Prostitution is illegal, and it's way too easy to get caught in a strip club, because people are LOOKING for it there.

In most strip clubs in this country, as Chuff said, you don't TOUCH the girls. Period.

I talked to my husband one time, who was telling stories about the different strip clubs he'd been to. The highest class one was in Vegas, and they were there at 10 AM on a Tuesday. It was empty except for them. They were there for the buffet, which was all you can eat for like $3.95 or something. They weren't even WATCHING the girls--just having lunch and conversation. Finally, the girl on stage came over and said "Is there something wrong with me? Ya'll aren't even looking". Their comment back was "We're here because the food is cheap, we don't have to worry about prostitutes or drug addicts annoying us through lunch, and because we're pretty broke. We don't have the money to tip you, so felt it unfair to bother you with cheers and hoots and hollers and stuff".

So... whatever. I know my man is coming home to me. I know that strippers don't WANT to have sex with my man. Is your man THAT much of a god, that woman can't keep their hands off him? Or do you just have trust issues, that you can't let your man look at naked women without you?

And Chuff--romance novels. Really, it's a much better comparison. Or shopping! I mean, you're out, trying to look good, with just the girls, and there are guys all OVER at the mall! SOME of them would even have sex with you for money! And you're out with just the girls, in a place where guys TRY to pick up women, and you're out getting things to make you look sexy! OMG! CHEATING!

And Chuff--romance novels. Really, it's a much better comparison. Or shopping! I mean, you're out, trying to look good, with just the girls, and there are guys all OVER at the mall! SOME of them would even have sex with you for money!! And you're out with just the girls, in a place where guys TRY to pick up women, and you're out getting things to make you look sexy!! OMG!! CHEATING!!

What if a stripper goes shopping, then what happens... does the world come to an end?

My partner doesn't have a problem with me going, not that I have went to one either. If she said "I'm going to a strip club." I would tell her to have fun, if she's going to cheat she's going to do it regardless. I respect her enough to allow her to make her own decisions.

Some of you have compared the whole strip club thing to watching sex and the city.. let me tell you I'd rather be dead then watch that show. I'm a girl and certainly don't run off to watch a show or movie because of 'emotions' I like the action and comedy type stuff, not the whole lovey dovey stuff. Granted I will watch them, but not my cup of tea.

Also you guys have talked about the movies and how there are naked women in them. Well I for one don't think there should be full on nudity in them. It is absolutely pointless, the only reason it ever started was to get more people (guys) into watching films to make money. Nowadays you may find one or 2 more movies that have male nudity, but mostly of women.
What I'm saying is, I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these nakes prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me.. all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls. Plus the only reason he would want to do anything when he got home WAS because of THOSE girls.. not anything I did. That to me is just pretty sick. Get turned on by some one else.. come home to use the girl. That just seems pretty pathetic.

You says guys are visual.. we'll they have their own girl to be visual with... they want some dance, ask her for it.. she'll gladly do it.. and hey if you want the feeling of a strip club and having to pay for them. I'm pretty sure she'll take the money as well.

[QUOTE]I'm a girl and certainly don't run off to watch a show or movie because of 'emotions' I like the action and comedy type stuff, not the whole lovey dovey stuff. Granted I will watch them, but not my cup of tea.

Me too! Never been my cup o' tea. (yawn.. ) Action, Sci-Fi, Horror, that's much better! That's such a stereotype.


What I'm saying is, I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these nakes prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me.. all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls. Plus the only reason he would want to do anything when he got home WAS because of THOSE girls.. not anything I did. That to me is just pretty sick. Get turned on by some one else.. come home to use the girl. That just seems pretty pathetic.

Yeah, I'd also prefer to be the actual object of desire, rather than merely the 'release'.


You says guys are visual.. we'll they have their own girl to be visual with... they want some dance, ask her for it.. she'll gladly do it.. and hey if you want the feeling of a strip club and having to pay for them. I'm pretty sure she'll take the money as well.

Lol..

And I still haven't heard. How many times have you guys gone to male strip clubs with your women? Since you seem to want to do it so bad, and agree women should accompany their men... I suggest you should spend equal time accompanying your women while she's surrounded by male strippers, and they're grinding their parts all up in her face, and she stuffs dollar bills in their (?). I'm sure you all will enjoy that very much.

Sokay, now I take that as a direct attack at me. I wouldn't go to a male strip club with my girlfriend, just as she wouldn't come to a female strip club with me. Not because it's equal time of anything of that sort. It's the fact she respects me enough and trusts me enough, as I do with her, that I will be coming home to her, and only her.

You're telling me that I shouldn't go my best friends bachelor party because he has strippers? I would tell you where to go and how to get there. If I chose to go, which I haven't, to a strip club with my friends for a night out, so be it. You have this illusion of a strip club that you see in the movies. You seem to immediately deem these girls "sluts, hoes" who want "your man", they don't want him.

I'd like to point out AGAIN that I'm a WOMAN defending the whole "go to a strip club" thing.


ARKdrummer: What I'm saying is, I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these nakes prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me.. all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls.

Sounds to me like it's YOUR mental issue there. Different things turn me on at different times--sometimes it's knowing I'm wearing something sexy under my clothes, sometimes it's a romance novel, sometimes it's watching a guy do a double take when I walk by, sometimes it's hormones, and sometimes it's something specific that my man wants me to do. Even if it's the UPS guy checking me out that makes my pulse beat a bit more--I still only want my husband to scratch that itch. The turn-on isn't the guy looking at me. The turn on is the LOOKING at me.

Do you honestly think that the 22-year old intern that wears short skirts and no bra to the office your husband works at isn't doing the Same thing as the girls at the strip club, as far as your husband's/boyfriend's libido goes? Is THAT cheating? I mean, he works with a girl, and he looks at her--OMG! That CHEATER!

If you don't like your man to go to a strip club EVER, and he's okay with taking that sort of order from you--GREAT! Congratulations--you've done what you should, and got a guy that matches your feelings on it. But calling all strippers prostitutes (when they're not--they're dancers), assuming that guys are getting laid in the back room, and thinking that it's the lap dance and the girl at the club your man is thinking about when he comes home to you is just silly. That's saying that you are expecting your guy to act JUST like the hero in the romance novel.

Actually--really, what it's saying is that you don't believe that regardless the outside stimulus in BOTH of your lives, that you'll always be hot for each other at all times, and NOTHING else will ever get your juices flowing. That means when you're exhausted, your man can touch your cheek (or grabs your , or whatever) and BAM! You're in the mood and hot to gobecause your man is the only thing that turns you on, and no outside stimulus can affect that wanting. It also means that NOTHING besides ONLY the things your man does can ever turn you on. That means romance novels do nothing for you, or that hot kiss in Spiderman, or that thing your ex did with his tongue can NEVER turn you on. Oh--and since you both turn each other on so much, and you're the ONLY things that turn each other on, neither of you EVER needs to masturbate.

And you'll get all indignant at this post because you'll miss the sarcasm, and you'll miss the point, so let me sum it up for you: Every single day, things BESIDES your partner affect your sexual mood. Men are no more thinking of that stripper than you are thinking of the UPS guy. And if you don't want your man to ever look at another woman ever again, then you'd better lock him up or blind him.

Hi All,

I've been reading all of the responses here, and I am torn LOL! You all make valid points! All I can add is that it comes down to trust. Me personally, I went to a strip club once with an ex years ago (not the recent ex), and at first I was okay, then I started to get jealous, even though I trusted him (and her). Then again, this is because of my own self-esteem (or lack there of) LOL!

I do like (and have felt the same about) what ARKDrummer said:
"I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these nakes prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me..all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls. Plus the only reason he would want to do anything when he got home WAS because of THOSE girls..not anything I did."

[QUOTE]Sokay, now I take that as a direct attack at me.

Huh?! Compared to what I've been getting? Haha, that's nothing! A bit sensitive? Been watching too many of your sappy love movies? You're going to need to Buck Up, Soldier! Toughen up, Man! Lol...

The reason is because you suggested I accompany my man to a strip club, when I've already told you that he has no desire to go, and neither do I... So why the heck would either one of us want to waste our time and money doing something that doesn't interest us? When there are so many other activities we can do together or separately that do interest us?


You're telling me that I shouldn't go my best friends bachelor party because he has strippers?

Ummm... Nooo... no, I'm not, actually. I'm not telling you to do anything. I don't care what you do. You're only imagining that I do.

If you want to go to your best friend's bachelor party, by all means, please do! (Amusing)


You seem to immediately deem these girls "sluts, hoes" who want "your man", they don't want him.

I SEEM to, huh? Wrong. Those are your words, so they must be coming from somewhere... within you...

I don't deem these girls to be anything one way or the other. I give them no thought. They are not part of my life so why would I? I'm sure they don't spend a lot of time analyzing my job either, lol... They're doing a job, like many other employees.

Some of you have compared the whole strip club thing to watching sex and the city..let me tell you I'd rather be dead then watch that show. I'm a girl and certainly don't run off to watch a show or movie because of 'emotions' I like the action and comedy type stuff, not the whole lovey dovey stuff. Granted I will watch them, but not my cup of tea.

That's fine that it is not your cup of tea. Again and I swear I don't understand how this comes down to personal attacks but going to a strip club is not every guys cup of tea. That's not the point, the point is it is not cheating, it's a fantasy which is visual, much like women as a whole, not individually, are more emotional and as such get into the movies like sex and the city, shopping, or romance novels.


Also you guys have talked about the movies and how there are naked women in them. Well I for one don't think there should be full on nudity in them.

Well you are out numbered. Furthermore, don't watch a movie if there is nudity. Family movie constantly draw more at the box office then other movies, so the idea that nudity is the reason people go see a movie is not exactly factual. I will use the example of the girl from Saved by the bell who played a stripper in Showgirls. She was many teenagers fantasy and guess what, the movie bombed, and if you've ever seen it, you'd know why. Man it sucked. Seriously, it was really, really bad. Nudity, in and of itself does not draw. There has to be something more, and fantasy which strip clubs do sell is part of it.


It is absolutely pointless, the only reason it ever started was to get more people (guys) into watching films to make money.

Men are so evil, aren't they. Poor women who accept money to enhance there careers were used by evil men.


Nowadays you may find one or 2 more movies that have male nudity, but mostly of women.

I thought you were against nudity?


What I'm saying is, I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these nakes prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me..all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls. Plus the only reason he would want to do anything when he got home WAS because of THOSE girls..not anything I did. That to me is just pretty sick. Get turned on by some one else..come home to use the girl. That just seems pretty pathetic.

This is not an insult although I think it's going to come off as one, but you are telling us that your guy can't appreciate what he has and is not turned on by you unless he goes to a strip club. If your relationship is based on such insecurities then how will you be able to deal with real problems that come between you?



You says guys are visual..we'll they have their own girl to be visual with...they want some dance, ask her for it..she'll gladly do it..and hey if you want the feeling of a strip club and having to pay for them. I'm pretty sure she'll take the money as well.


Great. Women are drama oriented, and you should stay home and give him all your drama and pay him for it. This sounds like the formula for the perfect relationship.

Sokay, after looking on your past history, it appears you have a history of hurling insults at people so I will be brief and simply say you are entitled to your opinion and you have in no way hurt me, I simply defended my stance. I know several strippers and I have the upmost respect for them. Enjoy "running your household" and have a nice day :-D

Well you are out numbered. Furthermore, don't watch a movie if there is nudity. Family movie constantly draw more at the box office then other movies, so the idea that nudity is the reason people go see a movie is not exactly factual. I will use the example of the girl from Saved by the bell who played a stripper in Showgirls. She was many teenagers fantasy and guess what, the movie bombed, and if you've ever seen it, you'd know why. Man it sucked. Seriously, it was really, really bad. Nudity, in and of itself does not draw. There has to be something more, and fantasy which strip clubs do sell is part of it.


I agree, that movie really did bomb at the box office... Poor Jessica Spano

Hi All,

I've been reading all of the responses here, and I am torn LOL! You all make valid points! All I can add is that it comes down to trust. Me personally, I went to a strip club once with an ex years ago (not the recent ex), and at first I was okay, then I started to get jealous, even though I trusted him (and her). Then again, this is because of my own self-esteem (or lack there of) LOL!

I do like (and have felt the same about) what ARKDrummer said:
"I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these naked prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me..all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls. Plus the only reason he would want to do anything when he got home WAS because of THOSE girls..not anything I did."

Agreed.

That's the thing, if 'trust' to one person means not having sex with others, then fine.

And if 'trust' to others means not asking/paying/seeking out others to strip for you and rub their naked parts on you...

Hey, who is anyone to judge what someone else's comfort level should be?

Some people on here are merely stating their own comfort levels and preferences, without saying the others are 'wrong' for differing.

Some are trying to force their preferences on others.

Romefalls19, I'm forcing my preference on you... from Florida over the internet while you are in New Jersey. That makes sense.

What preference would you have me do master?

You must enjoy strip clubs and consider it not cheating when the women rub all against you and charge you extra for the back room stuff that happens at all strip clubs that nobody can seem to name.

I definitely agree that everyone has their own opinion. I really could care less what other's views are on here, or whether the men or women on here go to strip clubs. You aren't my s/o so what you do on your time is your's to deal with, as long as it is all right with your partner of course, otherwise I guess the relationship won't last long. But anyway, my stance is and always shall be that it is wrong. I, thankfully, have a boyfriend that has complied with my wishes and I comply to his. Now that's not to say that we both request/demand something from the other and the other HAS to obey. The only things we do stop (or in some cases begin) doing is the things that hurt the other in some form and they see it as wrong or not the right thing to do. We do it because we love each other and don't want to have anything in the relationship that would harm the other.
To keep on with this topic my boyfriend has agreed that he doesn't even want strippers at his bachelor's party, he has me so why would he need them. He has also agreed that when/if he goes to a friend's bachelor's party he will leave once they are going to go to a strip club (if they do). If there is ever a time, that for some reason (I can't really see a reason) that he has no choice he has promised that he will tell me beforehand or as soon as he knows. He also knows the consequences if he does go, so yea, that's how we worked it. But like I said, to each his own (or her own :-P ).
Oh yes, and in response (don't remember who said it) to saying then we don't have to masturbate every day. Well, actually you are right, I don't and he doesn't, and we don't do that. But again, to each his own and that is a totally different subject.

Rumor has it Chuff, the backroom stuff that unnamed persons are referring to is that you get juice boxes with fruit snacks. I'm just saying, that's word on the street here.

Well maybe in NJ that's what happens but down here in FL the rumor is... and again this is a rumor because I've never been invited to the back room, but the rumor is there is sunscreen and jet ski's with a bucket full of jelly beans. Odd combination but some day when I get in there I will be able to confirm this.

I definitely agree that everyone has their own opinion. I really could care less what other's views are on here, or whether the men or women on here go to strip clubs. You aren't my s/o so what you do on your time is your's to deal with, as long as it is alright with your partner of course, otherwise I guess the relationship won't last long. But anywho, my stance is and always shall be that it is wrong. I, thankfully, have a bf that has complied with my wishes and I comply to his. Now that's not to say that we both request/demand something from the other and the other HAS to obey. The only things we do stop (or in some cases begin) doing is the things that hurt the other in some form and they see it as wrong or not the right thing to do. We do it because we love each other and don't want to have anything in the relationship that would harm the other.
To keep on with this topic my bf has agreed that he doesn't even want strippers at his bachelor's party, he has me so why would he need them. He has also agreed that when/if he goes to a friend's bachelor's party he will leave once they are going to go to a strip club (if they do). If there is ever a time, that for some reason (I can't really see a reason) that he has no choice he has promised that he will tell me beforehand or as soon as he knows. He also knows the consequences if he does go, so yea, that's how we worked it. But like I said, to each his own (or her own :-P ).
Oh yes, and in response (don't remember who said it) to saying then we don't have to masturbate every day. Well, actually you are right, I don't and he doesn't, and we don't do that. But again, to each his own and that is a totally different subject.

I agree with you Ark, to each his/her own, you have every right to participate in your relationship in a way that makes you comfortable, and, incidentally, your preferences sound similar to mine.

Also, I agree with you regarding the notion of making certain concessions to please our partner. I know I've made compromises on skipping doing certain things. Big Deal. You don't hear me whining about it, lol... Some of the posts on here make it sound like making small compromises is the worst thing in the world and is equivalent to being forced.. Give me a break! That's a bit of an over-dramatization.

And as we know, if both aren't happy with the terms, we're free to go find a better match. No one's being forced to comply.

I heard the back room --and I'm in MN here--has fishing, cigars, and beer. That's why so many men want to go back there, and it takes them HOURS to come out.

Note to self... Go to Florida then travel to Minnesota(even though I hate the Minnesota Wild) and check out their back rooms :-)

I heard the back room --and I'm in MN here--has fishing, cigars, and beer. That's why so many men want to go back there, and it takes them HOURS to come out.

I didn't want to bring this up, but I am a former resident of White Bear Lake Minnesota and I can confirm the back room does have fishing but it is ice fishing. Just wanted to clarify.

Note to self....Go to Florida then travel to Minnesota(even though I hate the Minnesota Wild) and check out their back rooms :-)

I'd offer to let you stay at my place, but maybe we should stay in the back room.

I work in Mendota Heights, and live in Burnsville---It's ice fishing ALL YEAR?

Dude... that's one heck of an air conditioner...

I'd take ice fishing over the outdoor sauna that is a Florida summer any day.

And I'd take that sauna over not being able to feel my fingers and toes for 4 months of the year

I think we should switch places.

How about we switch places just in the winter?

I kind of like going to the lake in the summer here.

How about we switch places just in the winter?

I kinda like going to the lake in the summer here.

Oh no, I'm not giving up a Florida winter. I just hate the summer... and those horrible strippers (<---kept on topic).

... and those horrible strippers

How dare they charge us for what we can get for free.!

I so agree with Synn on this one, that those young ladies, really truly, without a doubt, don't want your man, at all. They do wish very much, for the Ben Franklins and George Washington's in these mens pockets :) Bless, them, that is their job.

Now thankfully, my hubby, and for that very reason, that he knows the girls aren't really dancing or flirting with him, but for him to open up his wallet, is not into strip clubs. Hasn't been to one since we have been together and married.

I'm glad that he feels that way. I would much rather him smile, or do a double take to a beautiful girl walking down the street, then go to a stip club. And it doesn't even bother me one bit that he appreciates beauty in a women, I do as well, when we are together, and a beautiful young lady passes by, he pretends he just saw God :), and we laugh over it. He's a red blooded American man, and alive, but still I am glad it is his preference not to go to a strip club.

Those young ladies earn and deserve every dollar they receive. Personally, I think it's not an easy job and one I could never do. I couldn't handling all the hooting and hollering. I get unnerved just walking down the street when that happens. By the way, "Gentlemen" hanging out your car window, not looking where you are going, with your mouth wide open, saying God knows what, is not, I repeat, not a compliment. It's scarey and a bit annoying. A smile and a hello, and go on your way, is much nicer. Sorry, hope that's not harsh. But it has to be the worst feeling in the world and I am not sure some men realize that.

I will never forget, I was walking on the compound at work, and this guy, was not watching where he was going, staring as though he hadn't had a bite to eat in years, and smacked right in the car in front of him. Just a fender bender, but honestly, and I am not proud of this, but I was so annoyed, I said to myself "Good that's what you get!!!".

So, I guess the moral of the story is, everyone has a different preference, and just remember, wherever a lady is, she still is a lady. And wherever a man is, he's still a man,
And the two just need to come to an agreement that works for them.