This posters threads were merged and edited/T

First off I will apologize in advanced for this being so long, just going to provide all details so you guys(gals) may be able to give me some helpful advice.

A little back ground info to start things off. I am 21, she is 18. We are both attending the same college come fall, and have been together for a little over a year and a half. We would spend every day together and she relied on me for almost everything. Shortly before Xmas we began fighting a lot. Back in January she said she wanted a break and then a week later we were back together. Ever since then it has been different and we both knew it but still pushed through.


Currently, it has been 3 weeks since all this started. It actually began 2 weeks previous to that when I began my new job. I was around less and she began chilling with this one friend all the time who honestly is a $lut. Those 2 weeks she began to become distant and more worried about the friend then spending time with me. This goes on for 2 weeks and then a Saturday comes which is her grad party. That morning I show up and I try and talk to her about how I'm feeling and how we have been and she wasn't having it. During her party she had her mom pull me aside and told me to leave. The rest of that day I heard nothing from her, but earlier in the day her friend that she was hanging out with told me that she just wanted me to be her best friend. I wasn't having it and told her that I couldn't be friends and I think that's was pushed her to make her mom tell me to leave. Sunday comes and I once again try contacting her and she just says "leave me alone, I need space." That night she sees me out and walks up to me, pulls me away form a group of people and asks why I'm with them... The rest of that week she was distant and short with me. Really didn't text me, until Friday. She texted me when I was at work and told me she wanted to chill that night. So I agree. She comes over and she lays in my bed and one thing leads to another and we have sex. She then proceeded to leave shortly after and the rest of the weekend I barely heard from her.

That following Tuesday we had to go to orientation together at college. She texts me that morning and asked if I was there and I say yes and then I don't hear from her the rest of the day until lunch time at which point she told me to meet her for lunch and sit with her parents. I denied. That night upon returning home she asked me to chill and we went out to dinner and once leaving the restaurant she found a ring in my car that I asked for back the day of her graduation when she told me to leave and she said she wanted it back and to wear it. Confusing...

The rest of that week I once again barely hear from her but she started doing a trend. Every night if I didn't text her she would start texting me wondering where I was and would eventually start calling at 1 am asking what I was doing.. This goes on for awhile and still does if I don't text her.

We are now at July 30th. Well this weekend she went away with her family. Wouldn't you know Friday night she texts me and calls me again, telling me "Dont cheat on me, all my ex's have when I have been away this weekend in the past, I love you."... Saturday night I get this, "I wish you were here with me watching fire works." Both nights she was texting me wondering what I was doing and where I was as well.

This brings us into this week. Monday I finally grow some balls and tell her I can't do this any more and that I'm throwing away her ****. She then responds and begs and pleads that she loves me and that she doesn't want her stuff thrown away so she comes over. She gets her stuff and we chill but nothing happens, we barely talk and when I try to see just blows it off. Tuesday once again I try and talk to her and find out she lied about having to go home so early Monday night and about working Tuesday and it leads to me once again telling her to get out of my life. She shows up at my house unexpectedly. I leave what I was doing with my friends and once I get home she says she can't do this and that I'm mean and leaves. I go to get into my car to go back out and she gets emotional and tells me not to go out. So I don't. Wednesday comes around and nothing, and then Thursday. I start by texting her in the morning that I wanted to see her Thursday night and she says something smart and short. I start texting her all day, with no response. That night I keep calling her and eventually she answers but has her mom answer and I just hang up. Since this point I still have not heard from her and it is currently Friday. I haven't texted her since 8 Thursday night and I have no idea what to do...


Since we she "befriended" me, she removed me from Facebook, but I have been able to still see what she has been doing because, unfortunately I have been on her email. So between this and friends of mine telling me what she is doing on Facebook and I have a pretty good idea what she's been doing and she has been going out with this $lutty friend since she's been done with me and when that friend is not around she's different and actually talks to me.


I love this girl and everything about her. I'm not a guy who plays games and I never have. I don't know what to do, how to act. Alls I know is I really want her back.

I feel like all this has to do with the fact that she spent all her time with me and now once I started working she realized what it was like being independent and now this... I want to do something but i feel by ignoring her she will forget me and just go further away..

I will take any and all advice into consideration... Thanks, Justin.

I understand you're hurting-this girl is ,however playing games with you and your heart.

Don't let her.

Be strong and walk away;end the confusion by going no contact and have nothing more to do with her.

Yes, it's painful now, but if you allow her to keep on treating you this way, it'll be painful for a lot longer.

I'm actually going to post a new thread with more details. This was very confusing and put together quickly while I was at work. Hopefully you guys can have some insight for me.

Damn Homie why are you letting this girl run you around in circles? Sounds like she wants to be single but keep you around as a safety net just in case she can't find someone better. Dude go out have fun and forget about her.

Don't start a new thread-keep any additional information on this thread.

Sorry guy, she would rather run around and have fun with her slutty friends than sit home and watch TV with you, but she will call when she has nothing else to do and its quite foolish of you to put up with this behavior.

Keep your dignity and self respect, and disappear from her life, and start doing your own thing without her.

She still hasn't managed to talk to me since giving the phone away to her mom yesterday. I haven't texted her either since last night. I just some how want to know what she's doing, who she is with. This is awful...

I saw her friends fb and it doesn't say anything about my ex. How long realistically will it take if at all before she makes contact with me. I miss her...

Sorry guy, she would rather run around and have fun with her slutty friends than sit home and watch TV with you, but she will call when she has nothing else to do and its quite foolish of you to put up with this behavior.

Keep your dignity and self respect, and disappear from her life, and start doing your own thing without her.

(Out of reps! ;-) )

Re-read!!

So a little update, she began texting me and calling me at 5 am this morning saying she needed to tell me something important. I didn't answer.

Good!

Next time switch your phine off before going to bed.

She has taken you back and thrown you away repeatedly. This "I have something important to say" thing is just more of the same. You can politely text her that it is over and ask that she stop contacting you.

What I honestly think is that she's out with her mischievous friend doing unfaithful things. She thinks it's all right to fool around with other guys because you two are technically broken up. When these things don't work out, she still wants to be with you as a back up plan. She feels guilty about going out with other guys so she contacts you asking what you're doing all the time because she's worried that you're experimenting too.

I'm just guessing all of that but I'm sure you've considered that too because you classified her friend as "$lutty." When you even have to worry about things like that, you know it's over. You knew it was over after the first "break," where she probably tried to experiment a little more but failed and used you as a back up. Don't make her your priority when you're her back up. It's over.

So I had a mutual friend contact her today,and he sent me what she said back and it was something along the lines that she was pissed I didn't answer her this morning and that she wanted to talk to me. So I eventually texted her saying something along the lines of "I love you,i want to talk to you, but you want space and im not going to be your friend theres too much there."... I was looking at pics of her lately and I don't feel the same when I see her, yes if I have nothing to do I will get pretty sad. But I realized I don't know if its so much as me missing her? Or is it the fact that I'm being territorial and don't want to think of her with another guy with him doing what I did for the past year and a half. Im not a player so me going out and hooking up with some girl is something I won't do..

There are all kinds of feelings involved here, and that's why its important to sort them out, and deal with them without any of her games, and attitude.

Leave her alone and stop playing games yourself, with YOUR own feelings. Stop Facebook stalking, and sending messages through friends, and stop looking stupid with those "I love you and can't be friends" crap.

Disappear, let her be pissed, and keep your dignity and self respect.

What the **** is she doing... So last night, she says she wants to chill and for the first time in a month she slept over, this morning we woke up cuddling and ended up having sex and now she just left and said she wants to chill today... How am I suppose to make a decision when she keeps doing this. I love the girl but something doesn't seem to be adding up.

She's playing you and you're letting her.
Bow out of this toxic soap opera and go no contact.

HARSHNESS WARNING

You are her booty call boy toy, to be used for her amusement when she has time for you.

Its not a question of what's she is doing, every one but YOU knows that. The question now is why you let her do it? You are clearly stuck on someone that's not as stuck on you, and that makes you fair game, and a very easy target for whatever game she plays.

Don't even blame her, she is a predator and a user, blame yourself for not being able to see the truth, and knowing what to do about it. That's sad, since you have been told.

No more talk of confusion over what she is doing or why, just accept it, as you would a snake bites, because that's what they do. A user uses.

What you thought she feels the same way you feel? OBVIOUSLY NOT, or you would be a happy healthy couple enjoying the best of each other and giving the best. She know what she is doing, and what she wants, and its not the same as what you want, and its amazing YOU are confused, and she ISN'T.

Now be a good boy toy, hump buddy, while it lasts because after she has chilled, back to her being too busy.

WHY CAN"T YOU SEE THAT???

You are a booty call!
She does to you what you let her do.
Grow a pair and tell her to get lost. Don't have any more contact with her at all. This girl is playing you like an old fiddle

Im starting to see what you guys are saying, its just so hard for me to sit back and realize it. I find out that the friend she would normally be chilling with is in NYC... I was with her all day and now that I realize it when I tried to act like a boyfriend she kind of moved away, but as soon as I stepped away to take a call she came running over to see what I was doing and asked who it was..

She is playing with you. Leave her alone.
Put her down and don't pick her back up again.

Talaniman.

Everything you have said thus far has in some parts been true. I do as though feel like I am an option or a safe "****" when she needs it which has been like every 2 weeks since things started getting weird. The day yesterday was awkward as I said earlier, but at one point something did feel as though it clicked, I guess you could say? Last night I did NC until she called me and once she started she didn't stop until I finally answerd her and was very short. I figured the semi good day and then all of a sudden I don't have the urge to talk to her she might get a little confused on what I'm doing since she has been the one all along who has been the one doing this.


Im just in such a terrible position right now, alls she kept saying to people yesterday was "im excited were going to college together...blah blah blah." My friend texted me saying he found another girl for me and somehow she saw this and got quite upset. I found out she has been semi stalking my Facebook because she said something and she wouldn't have known that unless she looked.


What does this girl want... It seems like she almost wants to be with me, but at the same time is having too much fun being single.


Like people have said she wants her cake and wants to eat it too. She's having the fun of the single life, but has me for that added securuity when she "needs it."



Im so mind ****ed right now... I would love to be completely back together with her... but right now I'm trying to figure out the best way for that to happen...

Stop the game playing and think with your head, not other parts of your body!!

Stop the game playing and think with your head, not other parts of your body!!!

That's the thing though, I have never been the type of person to think like that. I have only kissed and or touched two girls, ever. Both of which I was dating.


Right now I'm having a battle between my head, and my heart. Logicly I know what I should do, but the emotional heart side of it is telling me to not let her go.


Is it the weirdest feeling ever.

To add to all of what I have said before, yesterday she began asking me why it seems she can't keep friends. I thought about because I didn't want to insult her but at the same time I wanted a truthful answer. I told her that she really didn't know who she was yet and that's why she is doing this to me. She wants to get a tatto, a belly piercing and this really got her thinking I suppose.

If she doesn't know who she is, how could she ever know if I am what she wants. I want to say something to her that would really make her think, like a single text message that upon reading may open her eyes, weither it be for me or another guy.


But I'm starting to see that possible all along this never had anything to do with me. Maybe it was just all her growing up trying to find her own.


Now that I think back, she was abusive. I can recall times when she would kick things in my car. Pinch, kick, hit and emotionally hurt me to the point of either blood or tears. Was never willing to sit down and just talk about things, and never had a willingness to just listen.


Along with that the last two times we had sex, it wasn't the same. Yes, the first time we kissed and what not, but just the other night it was just sex. No cuddling before hand, no kissing.

It was just sex...

This young lady has issues she needs help with but not from you.
She is a user. Why she does what she does, says to you what she says is immaterial. The fact is she treats you like crap.
Maybe your saying "no more" and going NC with her for good will be the catalyst for her to work on herself.
You need to be rid of her and she needs to grow up.

I feel as though this will be my final text to her.

"(Name), I realize realtionships get stale after awhile and they take work,but either you love me or you dont. But you better decide which it is because I'm not waiting for you to figure your self out any more. If you want out then walk. Say you need space and time, then take all the space and time you need, but im going to start getting on with my life, with or with out you. Yes, i do love you and even in love with you, BUT this emotional roller coaster needs to end. I can not be friends, there are too many emotions there."

Don't tell her it needs to end, tell her it has ended. You are still giving her openings and opportunities. She will just waltz back in and do the same thing over again,
You are either done or you're not.

Don't tell her it needs to end, tell her it has ended. You are still giving her openings and opportunities. She will just waltz back in and do the same thing over again,
You are either done or you're not.

That's the thing though, is I want to give her this option to see if maybe possible she comes around, maybe not now. But eventually.


Am I ignorant for thinking such?

Not ignorant but clinging to false hope.

One short text-your behaviour is not acceptable.

Then do NC proper.

Forever.

Not ignorant but this girl is not going to change with you. You keep leaving her options and openings, she has no reason to.
You need to close the door and go NC

She responded to the text with, "dont tell me to walk away. yer not hot ****."



Ok..

Every relationship is a learning experience.
Learn through this that you respect yourself and that any other person treating you like rubbish is not acceptable.

No contact-100% no contact will allow the confusion to subside so you'll come to realise what a toxic mess this has been.

No contact,for you and your healing.

GUY TALK/Harshness warning

Dude, you don't dump someone who needs dumping and giving them a chance to screw with your head some more, by saying what you want to hear, and string your a$$ along even further.

Say what you mean, and mean what you say, and this is the text you should send before you disappear, and become totally unavailable.

It was a great ride while it lasted, and thanks for the memories. Wish you well without me.

She isn't the problem, its you half stepping, and being wishy washy. Ignorance has nothing to do with it.

What I want is realisitc and harsh advice.

Im not really understanding you talaniman..


Elaborate?

If you were not so busy trying to get the love from a female who doesn't want to give it, you could walk away and be done with this drama, and do much better for yourself.

Then you wouldn't be stuck on someone that's not as stuck on you.

Then you would not make her a priority, while she keeps you as an option.

Then you would stop wasting time and energy, trying to make a brick house, out of cardboard.

Then you would stop trying to change a snake into a guard dog.

Get my drift? She is a lousy choice for a girl friend, and staying stuck will bite you in the butt. AGAIN!!

If you were not so busy trying to get the love from a female who doesn't want to give it, you could walk away and be done with this drama, and do much better for yourself.

Then you wouldn't be stuck on someone thats not as stuck on you.

Then you would not make her a priority, while she keeps you as an option.

Then you would stop wasting time and energy, trying to make a brick house, out of cardboard.

Then you would stop trying to change a snake into a guard dog.

Get my drift? She is a lousy choice for a girl friend, and staying stuck will bite you in the butt. AGAIN!!!

Haha. Thanks for the clairification, and I see your point. You know as well as I do in this situation that it is a hard thing to do. Although I find myself more and more everyday not wanting to talk to her, not wanting to deal with her **** and not missing the **** I hated about her. I do have moments in which I am sad and miss her and wish she was around back to normal. If I had the choice, I don't want to see her or I walk away but in a sense she kind of already has I suppose... Im not a player, I'm going away to school in 17 days, and really being there together with her would mean a lot. There is something about her I love, but then again she has been abusive and has hurt me more times then I can count, both physically and emotionaly.


She has lied countless times, caught talking to guys, giving out her number and in constent communication with her ex's. In January when she wanted a break I found out she chilled with 2 of her ex's during the time frame of one week.


There's the goods which I loved, and the bads in which I hate and sexually, we were just so comfortable with each other and that's hard to give up... Never been this comfortable with a girl.

she has been abusive and has hurt me more times then I can count, both physically and emotionaly.
Once would be enough for most. Without her you will see many more chances that will be much better for you.

So I'm sitting at work, bored thinking.


I feel as though the only reason I am with her is because.

-Shes beautiful
-Two different people(Bi-Polar?)
-Sex
-Memorys

So I have not texted her since I sent that text earlier today.

Wouldn't you know she is blowing up my phone right now. This is hard for me. I want to know I'm doing the right thing...

Yes you are. Hang in there fellow, and block her if you can. This is a chance to get your balls back! Real men don't compromise dignity and self respect for a piece of tail. Especially if the cost is being abused repeatedly like a piece of crap.that ain't love brother, and certainly not healthy.

That's why you have no friends, or a life you enjoy without her.

Update: She showed up at my house... and we went out to dinner... Why... how can I keep giving in like this... not to mention she showed up crying.

I see mind games being played on both sides and someone needs to stop it. Since you are the one asking for advice, I guess it is up to you.

Box up any more belongings she has left at your place and have a friend return them to her. O more threats to throw her stuff out. Block her number. Block her email. Stop getting updates on her or sending messages through friends. If she shows up on your doorstep, ask her to leave. If she is crying, call her mother to come get her. She isn't your responsibility now.

Stop having sex with her. Stop allowing things to 'just happen'. So far there isn't a child mixed up in this farce and it should stay that way.

Start being involved in your own life. Go out with your own friends. Keep yourself busy. Allow yourself to heal.

I see mind games being played on both sides and someone needs to stop it. Since you are the one asking for advice, I guess it is up to you.

Box up any more belongings she has left at your place and have a friend return them to her. o more threats to throw her stuff out. Block her number. Block her email. Stop getting updates on her or sending messages through friends. If she shows up on your doorstep, ask her to leave. If she is crying, call her mother to come get her. She isn't your responsibility now.

Stop having sex with her. Stop allowing things to 'just happen'. So far there isn't a child mixed up in this farce and it should stay that way.

Start being involved in your own life. Go out with your own friends. Keep yourself busy. Allow yourself to heal.

Seriously! I had to spread the rep.

jbots10, it's time to use yourself control and just say no.

Fell for the water works, huh. To bad, she probably bragged to her friends how she got a poor sap to buy her dinner.

Oh man, why do I feel as though this is going to be a reacuring trend.

To add insult to injury, she then proceeded to text me the entire night like she was back together with me...

I have read and reread almost every sticky, and have searched for this type of topic and I see simularities but I don't.


This ***** is confused, and I'm trying to not get involved but its hard when its this constent up and down.


That friend that she has been around was home yesterday, so I took priority over her, along with today she texted me last night and wanted to come right over after work.


Is she being sincere or what is she trying to get at?


Only thing I can think is that we had a semi good weekend and its bringing back old memorys and feelings which she wants to reconnect with?


And, here's the kicker... She requested to add me back on Facebook... I have not accpeted and I don't think I will...

... She texts me and I'm very distant and cold.



I don't think I'm playing games, I'm just looking out for my own benefit...

Could there be something here?? or am I just climbing that mountain again, just to be pushed off?

This site is getting me through work, and honestly Im glad I found it. I plan on sticking around here weither it be for this FUBR relationship or the next one. There are lessons and great advice on this site. :) Just wanted to throw that out there.

Leave her alone. This girl has a nasty attitude and she is wiping the floor with you.

I just don't understand why she is trying to get so close to me again.


:/

Boo hoo so she was crying-crocodile tears...

Come on-take charge of your own life-stop the game playing-as you are as much of a player here as she is.

That's the thing though... Shes making it so hard to do NC. She shows up, and then is normal again to me. Its so confusing. I can't tell what she really wants... Shes been cuddly last night and has been texting me all day, I have responded once.

No-you are responsible for how you ALLOW yourself to be treated.

You can stop this farce by deciding n o t to accept any more c^*p from her.

Your choice.

I understand that but I don't want to force her away if she wants to stay though... And if she shows up today which I think she is then I will see if she wants to have that talk and if not then I will take the upper hand and terminate things..


I will update later

Why did you set yourself up for all this drama?

You know what she is like. You could have calmly said that you thought it would be better for her to get her own cleaning supplies or to have come with you to make certain there wasn't a mistake. You didn't. You expected a 'thank you' from someone you say never gives thanks. Your mistake.

You feel bad. You could have kept that from happening. You didn't have to see her. You didn't have to have dinner with her. You didn't have to press your luck and take her back to your place. You didn't have to go out and get her cleaning supplies. You wanted to test the 'relationship' and surprise nothing was different.

Are you ready to go full No Contact now?

You can't be surprised that things turned out the way they did. Had enough yet?

Talaniman, yes. I have had enough. I can't do this any more. I feel as though I have been used for the last time and starting today am going NC. I have 15 days before I go to school and I'm done stressing about this girl who uses me and treats me like cr@p. I know I'm going to miss her but I think I'm going to feel good about this. Only time will tell I suppose.

Stick to your decision.

100% NC now.

Good luck.

Thanks, ill keep updating this thread with what's going on. Im sure somebody out there will search for this topic and will have to go through this same type of non sense I have been going through the past month.

Your mind is made up now, fueled by anger and frustration, but the real test comes when today's feelings fade with tomorrows reality. That means stay strong, and stick to your guns, no matter what she does or says, and just do your thing.

Good luck guy, and stay in touch.

The thing is though, I can always find something to think back and get angry about. I figure by time I run out of those thoughts will be the time when my heart no longer craves her.

This was her idea, not mine. She will run back, and when I'm not there it will be a reality check.

This site. +1

Tonight, she starts blowing up my phone and I just can't take it. I answer and she is such an ungrateful b!tch then I hang up and send her a text to pretty much get out of my life. Im in such a fury of emotions right now. Im sad, angry, annoyed and just feel violated.


I think I hate her.

Next time switch your phone off.
Don't allow her to get hold of you.
By having chosen N C you've done the right thing for yourself.
You matter now - not Miss Manipulative Ex.
Work out those feelings of anger by doing some excersise if you can.
Hang in there.

Its just so annoying. This weekend was fine right up until she got her piercing and then it was back to normal again. She made an excuse to leave my house last night. Today she was short again and barely talking to me and now this. Im so sick of it.

'Im so sick of it.'

Which is exactly why you stick with total NC.

Hopefully you are sick enough to stay away.
You can no longer get mad at her for being who and what she is. Stop talking to her. Stop letting her walk on you.
Leave the girl alone!

Harhness Alert


Its just so annoying. This weekend was fine right up until she got her piercing and then it was back to normal again. She made an excuse to leave my house last night. Today she was short again and barely talking to me and now this. Im so sick of it.

Why is she at your house in the first place? Why do you care if she is short and barely talking to you? Why have you not blocked her number?

Personally, I think you are the problem instead of her. You keep letting her back into your life and blaming her for not having changed. You tell us that you are not going to let her play games with you and turn around the same day and let her back into your house and get upset that she made an excuse to leave. What were you expecting? A long heartfelt apology for making your life miserable? The 'I've changed and want you back' discussion? Sex? Something to 'just happen'?

Now you are upset that she is short and barely talking to you today. You are not supposed to be talking to her in the first place. No Contact means No Communications of any type. Be polite but don't encourage personal discussion should you meet in public.

Take some responsibility for your own actions and reactions. Stop playing games with her. Let her live her own life and you do the same. Both of you need to let go and heal.

INSANITY - Doing the same thing over, and over, and expecting different results.

Change your action, change the results. Choose your actions wisely

HINT: Run, fast, DISAPPEAR FOREVER.

Things are not going good at all. This is a lot harder then I thought it was going to be.

Breaking up and NC is hard but you get through it and you are better off in the long run.

Of course it's tough, but you hang in there and it will get easier day by day.
Detox from the drama-be active and keep busy.
Think with your head, not your heart.

I feel as though I am back at day one. Im trying to think with my head but when I have nothing to do its very hard. When we were together I lost most of my friends. I didn't have work today, and I live alone with a room mate who is never here. So I really have no body to talk to and everything I do is just a remember of how things were when we were together and I never felt alone.

Its tough to make that transition from having somebody available to you all the time, to being independent and happy with what you are doing alone now. A plan of action for those alone times is what's needed, preferably around people.

Even if you are a loner by nature, the key is family, friends, and activities, that change your focus from old patterns to new ones.

Get involved with something. That's where your plan should start, and go where you interact with people, and make friends. Yes this will be the hardest thing you have had to do, so meet the challenge.

I mean stop and think why this is so hard, when the whole exercise and challenge is about what you do for yourself. Its sad that you cannot do for yourself, your time, and most of all cope with your own feelings in positive ways.

This battle is between YOU, and YOU, and the things you come up with to do for yourself. So don't just sit struggling with yourself, when there is a HUGE world to explore and find out about. When you do, you will be busy enough to take advantage of a good nights sleep. Make a plan, and follow it.

I feel as though i am back at day one.

This also naturally happens when you break NC and go back to being "friendly" with the ex, you undo any progression you made and by the time you go back to NC, its like starting over again.

So let me just say, I'm done with this. I have not been able to go no contact lately and honestly I know I should have been done a long time ago but last night was the last straw and I'm promising myself I can't do this any more. I was some place and she texts me and says she wants to chill, so I agree and go home just for her to tell me that well I can't now because my mom won't let me take the car and she says she was watching netflix on my account. Well funny thing is she says she's going to bed at 1am. 1.) Netflix was not touched last night. 2.)She was commenting on a photo of her at 345am.


Im done. I have been lied to for the last time. I need to be done.


Where do I start. This is going to be awful.


Step one?

Sever all connections, and access to you. Start with Facebook, and include Netflix, and block her emails, texts, and any other way to contact you.

You do know about the stickies, don't you. Reread your own post again to refresh your memory of what you have gone through.

That's a great start. But you actually have to do these things, not just think of ways around them.

I just removed her and all her little friends from Facebook. Made my account private. The cell phone I have no control over, its still in my moms name (family plan with grandfather unlimited data.) I just removed netflix from all accessories at her house. She wouldn't email me.

Ive read the stickies probably 20 times each.


I want to do this, I just know how much I'm going to miss her, and how lonely I'm about to be. This is me throwing all hope out the window. Im just not looking forward to starting back off at step one. I hate this so much..

Making tough choices, and being responsible for your own happiness through those choices is a fact of life you better get use to.

We all hate bad times, but you have to deal with them.

You should still be able to block her phone number. If you personally can't, ask your mother to block it.

Keep busy. Get ready for school. Look into the material you will be studying.

Hang out with friends. Exercise. Volunteer. Start a new hobby or pick up an old. How are your cooking skills? Cooking and baking are great ways to keep both mind and body busy. Plus your hands usually end up too messy to hold a phone.

Don't dwell on how hard it is going to be. Instead, find ways to help yourself.

What are some of the ways you would give someone else to stay busy?

You should still be able to block her phone number. If you personally can't, ask your mother to block it.

Keep busy. Get ready for school. Look into the material you will be studying.

Hang out with friends. Exercise. Volunteer. Start a new hobby or pick up an old. How are your cooking skills? Cooking and baking are great ways to keep both mind and body busy. Plus your hands usually end up too messy to hold a phone.

Don't dwell on how hard it is going to be. Instead, find ways to help yourself.

What are some of the ways you would give someone else to stay busy?

Im a great cook. I have been working out. I lost all my friends because of this girl lying and causing drama.


It's the fact like right now I'm sitting in my room, just thinking about her with another guy and the fact that just on Tuesday I paid for her to get her belly button pierced and then haven't seen or really talked to her since.

It's the fact that I have been used and I have done nothing wrong but be a good guy this entire time..


Good guys finish last? :/

So, why are you sitting there letting her manipulate the way you feel about yourself? Why are you letting thoughts of her control what you do now?

Why are you torturing yourself thinking about her with other men? Does that really sound like a healthy thing to concentrate on?

Why aren't you calling up your old friends and making amends and plans to meet up? Are you afraid of how they will react or what they will say? 'I told you so' doesn't really hurt when you are already telling yourself the same thing.

Its the fact that i have been used and i have done nothing wrong but be a good guy this entire time..

Good guys finish last? :/

But you keep letting yourself get "used". This has turned into a huge back and forth between multiple people here telling you what you need to do, you not doing it, then coming back and complaining about how she "used" you again.

Sorry to be harsh, but sometimes I can be too blunt!

But you keep letting yourself get "used". This has turned into a huge back and forth between multiple people here telling you what you need to do, you not doing it, then coming back and complaining about how she "used" you again.

Sorry to be harsh, but sometimes I can be too blunt!

No, honesty is the truth and the truth is what I need, but I feel like there is this wall of false hope that is blinding me. I read the one stickie about how people will go off and do things and then come back here and complain and wonder why.

Im one of those people, I also hope I'm one of those people in that thread that decide it is time to do NC and it is for the better.


Everyone tells me what a great guy I am, but I don't feel it. Girls don't try and talk to me which makes me feel like crap.. As though I'm not good enough..

Never measure how you see yourself by what others are doing, or treating you. Always set your own value, and do for yourself.

get over it my friend, and stop thinking this is a pity party. Its not. Stuff happens in life, and you have to keep living. If you can't you will sit there looking stupid and wondering WHY ME.

This happens to us all and we keep moving forward to thrive, and survive, and do our own thing.

Doesn't matter what others do, or try to do. All that matters is what you do, so find something good to do, that makes you happy.

Let go of the false hope. Why do you want her to come back? She has not changed, will not change. Why do you want to go back to being used?

What is wrong with me. I am so for this girl that I just keep messing up. Still have not gone no contact. I can't do it. I don't know why even when this entire weekend I knew she lied to me, and last night as I'm driving home she is popping up out of this sun roof and her and her friend are shaking there *** at me and still today I want to see her. I want to be done, I do. I just don't know where to start. I know no contact and I'm trying but it just doesn't feel right and that scares me. I don't want to lose her but if she doesn't want me what can I do. That's all I'm hearing from her is partying this and out there... I want to be done. I really do. And then all today I have been texting her non stop just wanting her to answer a single text. I know I shouldn't be doing it but I do.

And there it is... she finally answerd.. and gave the phone to I guess her new man.


I feel like... ya know..

Does that settle it for you, have you had enough yet?
She is not the only girl in the world.

That did it. I got my answer. Him answering the phone, I lost all love and care for her at all.

Lets hope so.

Daughtry-You don't belong.

"‎"No, you don't belong to me! I think you lied to me and with my back against this wall, it's hard to be strong. No, you'd tell me anything, look what you've done to me. Still I tell myself that tomorrow you'll be long gone.""


Living to these lyrics.

Live that song for today but change the record tomorrow.
You have still got you so work on healing and moving forward.

Music can be a great tool for helping you find strength and ease the hurt. Just be careful to choose songs that encourage healing rather than wallowing in self-pity.

An old song, but one whose lyrics still ring true: I will Survive by Gloria Gaynor (http://www.lyricsdomain.com/7/gloria_gaynor/i_will_survive.html.)

Going back through my records and I came across this and I actually have a happy ending. All this bull **** continued on until August 26th when we came to school. Bottom line is she cheated on me our first night at college and that was that. She actually called the cops on me because she didn't feel safe and that was the final straw for me. 2 Months later fate had it that I found someone that blows her out of the water and knowing what I know now I will never be in that situation again. So for anyone that reads this and wonders how all that turned out, yea it will suck, but I'm a better person now because of it.


-Justin

First up... don't have a girl "rely on you" for anything. There are in my experience, broadly speaking, two types of girls in this world, ones that seek to rely on you, and those that prefer to be staunchly independent. The former are generally quite happy to marry the first person with money they meet. The latter will usually have many relationship problems through their twenties and thirties until they become either cougars or mentally ill. About 2 out of every ten woman are actually normal. Sorry girls... other opinions are very welcome.