I love my boyfriend more than anything. We've been together for two years now, he has been nothing but lovely to me, and I can't imagine not being with him. The only 'problem' is the way he mentions money:

He says that things are 'expensive' quite often. Which is a normal thing to take into account when you're not earning a lot of money. But, if we our with friends and go to a place, he will say that he won't take that drink because it's 'too expensive'. Or the other day he was going out with friends and I asked him if he's going to a club and he said no, its 'too expensive'. I earn less than him and I'm even more careful with what I spend, but I never mention that things are expensive. I just keep it to myself, if I don't want to spend any money, I just don't.

The thing is, he isn't stingy. He spends money on clothes and other stuff, he takes me out to restaurants, he spent a fortune to come and find me last year when I was living in a different country, even if it meant him staying with almost no money for a week.

I tried talking to him about it and he said that it's a habit that his parents and grandparents have, and he doesn't like it. He wants to overcome it. But this was a while ago, and he still reacts in the same way when something is -according to him- 'expensive'.

I find it particularly annoying when other people are around, because he really does give the impression of a very stingy person, not wanting to spend 50 cents more for something because it's more expensive than it should be.

How do I mention it again? I honestly feel like if there's one thing that might ruin our relationship in the longterm, it's this.

Being frank and expressing your feelings is the best thing to do here. Try and help him overcome this habit by going shopping with him and browsing through stuff, every time he is about to utter "its too expensive"point it out. This might turn out to be very frustrating but might help by the end of the day, also do mention to him that your just doing this to help him.
Lets take a simple example of a child who has a bad habit of biting her nails, the parent either warns her, smacks her on her hand or from the next time dips her hands in a bitter solvent as soon as the day starts so that whenever she reaches to bite her nails the bitter taste repels her. Getting rid of bad habits is a very psychologically tasking job as it takes many tries before a desired reaction in formed. Basically its called conditioning. Your boyfriend should also make a positive effort towards the eradication of this habit. When both of you work together it'll help twice as much!

Hello f:

If he's actually stingy, then that's ONE problem.. But, if he just utters the phrase "it's too expensive", then it just might be a habit that he can break...

I have one like that, and I HATE it.. Whenever somebody asks me if I'm hungry, I'll look at my watch.. I TRY to check out my stomach instead of the time, but it's not easy.

excon

Thank you for answering. excon, I don't think he is stingy. He went though a period where he had very few money to live by, so he learned to think about it; just like every other poor student, me included. He definitely thinks about money and doesn't spend it relentlessly, but that's a good thing, at least to me.

He also seems to mention it more when he's a bit grumpy. For example the other day we went for a very expensive bruch, we had a great time with our friends and he didn't say one word. He even paid for me!

So I would say that it's more of a habit, but a very annoying one.

My wife has an annoying habit. Every time my habits annoy her, she tells me about it. The problem is, I have so many, so some she lets go, some she don't, and its great she realizes that I ain't perfect, and forget sometimes how annoying I can be, but I try not to. I really do. So maybe its okay to mention his bad habit sometimes, and let it go others, and understand that he is trying.

Darn those bad habits, they are hard to break, annoying true, but they come and go, if you don't make them bigger than what they have to be. Mention them yes, but don't have a cow over them.