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View Full Version : What do you do when you have feeling's for your mate who loves his ex?


ToriFxx
Aug 2, 2011, 12:48 PM
Hopefully this doesn't confuse you as much as it does me. I started talking to a guy on Facebook less then a year ago,we got on so well... everything in common.. was perfect.We randomly stopped talking for about 6 months, and in that time he managed to find a girlfriend. She lives up hampshire but moved in with him (it's about 7 hours away) so I'm guessing it was pretty serious.Recently we just started talking again and I found out they had broke up. I know it was a stupid thing to do but I told him I really did like him,and would like that bond back. He said "im going to be honest with you, since my relationship with lauren has ****ed my head,im not looking for anyone else yet,but we did get on so well" and then I got all jelous and a bit mardy,which I regret,and told him "maybe i should back off because i could end up hurt" he text back saying "well..im not gonna be like this forever" (which implied he isn't going to want to be single forever). He text me today saying he was really really sad because he dropped her up to live with her dad back in hampshire" and he also wants me to meet him on his lunch break tomorrow. Im so confused,I really like this guy,every time he mention's her.. I get SO jelous!. I don't know how to react and I feel like s**t!. Im scared that they will eventually get back together,but I'm not sure, someone... please help? :/

joypulv
Aug 2, 2011, 12:57 PM
First of all, you haven't even met yet, so there's no way to say you have everything in common.
Second, if you are jealous over an ex, especially when you haven't met yet, you need to take some time off to undo this way of thinking. Jealousy of that sort destroys you and people around you.
Take a deep breath and MEET the poor guy, with no expectations of anything.

BK201
Aug 2, 2011, 01:11 PM
True isn't it, we can't force someone to fall in love with this. Now, give him your support as a friend. He is just out of a live-in relation, so I suggest do not talk to him about your feelings. Do not let your jealousy get to him. He might even say that he likes you or eventually he will love you, but whatever he is going to say in this situation are just like a rebound relation. Reason being, he is not out of it, he has not moved on and he has not yet let her go.
It is natural to get jealous, but just give him your support and be a good friend who helped him move on.
In case if you do not know how to react or do not want to hear him talk about her, tell him so. He will understand.