Hi, I am a single mother of 2 children. When my ex and I split up I was emotionally unstable and left the kids with him. I felt that I was an unsuitable mother because of years of emotional torment. He made me believe that I was crazy and therefore an unfit mom. After a few weeks away from him I realized that I was fine and he was just evil. I worked on starting over in hopes of getting my kids back. I worked like a dog and paid him child support and even gave him extra cash because I thought that it would help the kids. I always saw my kids on the weekends and holidays, etc.. Well, about two years later he dropped the kids off to me and said that he could no longer handle it. I learned from his mother that he had a drug problem. The kids lived with me and my new boyfriend. They started school and adjusted very well. He has refused to ever pay me child support. I feel that the system is failing me because after many calls to DHS and FOC I can't seem to make any progress. I just wanted a little bit of help with bills. The kids have been visiting with him for 2 weeks now and he claims that my daughter wants to live with him. I am sure that he had pressured her into this decision. She is only 10 years old and can not be expected to have to choose anyway. I believe that he is doing this to avoid paying child support.Im terrified of losing my kids again. I don't have any money to pay a lawyer to help me. Does anyone have any advice?

Family Court is user friendly - go to Family Court and file a petition for custody and support.

If he's unfit, prove it and get custody.

Was there any court rulings on custody and support? Did you modify the original custody order when they moved in with you? Have you gotten a support order? What are DHS and FOC? ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

We have legal joint custody. When they came to live with me the courts were notified and the support order was dropped. I never started it up against him because he didn't have a job and it seemed pointless to waste my time. Now I know that I should have started this a year ago. DHS is the Department of Human services. In Michigan where I live it is mandatory for the non custodial parent to pay support if the children are receiving Medicaid or other services paid for by the state. They sent me a form to fill out concerning my ex's info so that they could pursue child support on my behalf. That was 6 months ago. I sent it back in and continue to check on the status but it never changes. FOC is Friend of the Court. It's what they call the Family court. I plan to go to the court this week and hopefully make some progress.

Even with "joint custody" there is normally a written parenting plan, on where and who the kids are with at a given time. And who is a primary parent ( there has to be one if the two of you can not decide

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Ok, different areas call them different things so you need to be clear. Sounds like he's able to hide his income. Unless the state wants to get really tough you may not get much from him.