Hi,

To make this as short as possible, I was with my girlfriend for a year and I was a real jerk to her, I wasn't showing her love or caring for her most of the time.

After 1 year I came to my senses and realized what a jerk I was and apologized and asked for her forgiveness and became the best boyfriend I could ever be with her. After 2 months I found out that she was talking to another guy and flirting with him and exchanging pics.

She stopped talking to him after I found out and she really hates him now as he has confessed everything and she was lying all the time until I proved to her with evidence that she is lying.

At this time I wasn't able to trust her again and told her that I can't trust her anymore and my feelings for her are mixed with hatred.

It's now 4 months since we broke up and I feel that I came through it a lot and can start a new relationship with her again, that's not the problem, the problem is that she is afraid and not willing to try again and thinks that we're not good for each other and that we do fight a lot. She says that's her feelings not just towards me, but towards all men.

I know in my guts that I can make it work and I do love her and want to forgive her as she did to me but she doesn't believe in that. At this time we're really good friends and we do talk almost daily but that's it, nothing more. She considers me as a friend but I need more than that.

My life is really miserable, any advice would be really appreciated.

Thank you.

Maybe being friends with her isn't something you should be doing right now since you want more and your feelings are still raw towards her. You already expressed to you that she doesn't want to be anymore other than friends and when someomes tells you that you should listen to what their sayings.

It is time for you to let go of the past and start accepting reality. Now do you think you can take seeing her with someone else? No! Then more of a reason to move on and realize it is over between the two of you.

Time to let go guy because your gut is stuck on something it can't have. It does show that being friends doesn't get you what you want, nor can you be a good friend without your own agenda. That's not friendship, its false hope, and you need to quit it, and get a life without her.

Maybe she will miss you, maybe she won't, but having no more contact will let you heal, and figure out what to do about your gut.

Talaniman Rule-Don't be stuck on someone who isn't as stuck on you.

Thank you both for your answers.

Do you think if I could stay friends with her and show her that I am willing to change and do everything for her that she MIGHT consider giving this relationship another chance?

Then, your still remaining friends with her for all the wrong reasons. Have you considered the fact she just want to be friends with you and nothing more?

Move forward, not backwards.

You may have changed. But she hasn't.

Sometimes that's how it goes.

Forget the idea of anything with her.

Don't even try. You want to be friends, but with an agenda to get back in romantically.

Bad idea.

What kind of friend would you be with an ulterior motive. Make yourself better for you, and get with someone that wants what you want. She doesn't.

Building your future around someone changing their mind, and feelings, is false hope, and a waste.

You are just prolonging your own misery.

Well she did say that she doesn't want to get involved in any relationships at the moment and wants to focus on herself and it's not about me personally.

I've asked her if in the future you did think about being in a relationship, would you try it again with me. Her answer was "Maybe, I'll have to think about it!".

Well, have you gotten the message, yet?

Girls can be so nice, huh? Let me think about it while you wait. Nothing personally.

Yeah, right. Funny, actually.

NC, buddy. All the way.

Believe me, she would rather it if you didn't contact her.

Quit, while you have some dignity, and self respect.

She already told you what she doesn't want so you need to listen to she is has said. You need to let go and move on. Her saying "maybe" to a future relation with you doesn't mean yes and more than likely means no. So don't hold on to that maybe.