So I'm in a circus and its become my life's ambition to join as a professional when I grow older. Unfortunately I met this girl in the circus and fell in love with her. We went out for a little, but then she broke it off and said she just wanted to be friends, and for about 2 months we've just been hanging out as friends. I managed to hang in because she kept stringing me along saying there's a chance things will change. At the beginning of the summer she got a boyfriend and it completely crushed me. Recently I have experienced feelings of completely uncaring about anything, even the circus and have considered giving up everything in life. I haven't gone back to the circus yet because frankly I'm scared. I know if I go back ill have to see her and work with her, but if I give up on being in the circus I feel I will be giving up on everything, but I can't get over her and every time I've recently been with her I've experienced severe depression afterwards, even if it was in the circus and may even need medication for it.

From what I've heard about the circus community, relationships can be fleeting and anyone who does get involved with anyone else has to accept being just friends afterwards. It doesn't sound right for you at this time. Practice your skill and think about joining a few years from now maybe. There's not a lot to say about grief after love lost, except try to keep busy with work and friends and family, and know that most of the world has gone through this too.

You don't mention your age. That is an important piece of information. Relationships come and go. And it is difficult to see someone you cared about with someone else. This is not YOUR FAULT. The fact that this girl does this right in your face is a testament to HER character, not yours. Think about it this way... would YOU do that to her or anyone else for that matter? Probably not because you sound like a sensitive person that does concern yourself with the feelings of others. She apparently does not care about your feelings so she's not worth fretting over. If you want to be in the circus as a professional performer, don't let this little stumbling block change that. Good Luck,, do what you need to to follow your dreams.