I lost my virginity to my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't planned so we didn't use protection. Because of the amount of alcohol he had been drinking, he couldn't get hard but we had s*x anyway. It didn't last long 'cause his brother woke up so we stopped. I've been showing a lot of signs of pregnancy and was wondering if there is a chance I could be pregnant even though he didn't come.

Yes, there is still a chance since there is sperm in the early seminal fluid.

My friend wants me to take a pregnancy test but I don't have any money and my parents won't give me any unless I tell them what it's for.

Please understand that there is no way to tell whether you are pregnant without taking a pregnancy test. Is there a clinic near you that you could get to?

Nope.

How old are you?

13

You're 13? How old is your boyfriend?

Why are you having sex at 13?

Having sex at 13 with the boyfriend who was drinking and it happened where brother waking up stopped them. Sure hope the brother was not in the room.

The young impulse

Can your boyfriend help you pay for a pregnancy test? Have you missed a period yet?

There's a search engine at this site:
Family Planning Association (http://www.fpa.org.uk/helpandadvice/findaclinic) where you can find contraceptive services specifically for young people.
It looks like there are several resources in Belfast, very close to Antrim which is listed as your location.

While you visit one of these clinics, there should be a counselor to discuss sex with you, its implications, and how to be safe. Please use these resources

Here's there phone:

FPA helpline Northern Ireland

0845 122 8687
9am to 5pm Monday to Friday (except bank holidays)

Well, honey... your BOYFRIEND, who OBVIOUSLY can afford a child since he's having SEX with you (and dear god, you are still a child yourself) can OBVIOUSLY also afford a pregnancy test.

I suggest you get yourself on the pill if you find you are not pregnant. The best way for it to work is to hold the pill between your knees at all times so that your legs stay closed.

I'm not sure which angers me more, that you are having sex at 13 or that at 13 you are drinking so heavily that you have unplanned sex.

Hopefully you are not pregnant, but the only way you will be able to tell is taking a test or seeing a doctor.

But I'm hoping this may be a wakeup call for you. You need to get control over your life because you are headed in the wrong direction. Stop drinking, at least until you are old enough (an adult) to handle it. Stop having sexual intercourse until you are ready to have a baby.

This is just too sad.

Okay, I know it shouldn't have happened and, I wasn't drinking. My boyfriend's 17 and I know he can afford a test but I don't want to tell him I think I might be pregnant. My best friend is back from camp on Friday and really wants me to get a test so, she said she'd buy it. To those who helped, thanks.

No, his brother was in his own room.

OK, age of consent in Ireland is 17. So, my young friend, you were raped. I don't know how long you have been with this boy but he took advantage of you. It is illegal for hm to have sex with you.

As I said, you need to change your ways. If you are not pregnant get rid of this abuser.

I know it's illegal and I know it's counted as rape but, I don't want to get rid of him. I'm not going to say I love him because I know whay you'll say but I really like him and I care about him.

But does he care about you? You didn't answer how long you have been with him. My take is he is just using you for sex. Maybe that's why he got drunk, to build up the courage to rape you. But as soon as he started drinking you should have left.

Yes, he does care about e and we've been together for 2 years. And it wasn't rape. He asked before it happened if I was sure about it.

If you feel like you should wait until Friday when your friend gets into town AND she really does buy you the test, then good, take that test.

If you're NOT pregnant (which I really hope is the case for your sake), you MUST talk to your boyfriend about how you wish to proceed. Sex is an adult thing and if you think you're ready then you need to be ready for adult responsibilities. So...

What will you do as a couple if you become pregnant?
How will you financially support a family?
Where will you live?
What protection will you use during future sexual intercourse and how will you pay for it?

Babies are expensive, and no matter how safe you think you're having sex, a baby CAN and HAS result(ed).

I'm not trying to be mean or patronize you right now, I'm trying to make sure you realize just how serious this could get for you. You're still a child yourself, after all.

Yes, he does care about e and we've been together for 2 years. And it wasn't rape. He asked before it happened if I was sure about it.

Sorry, but it WAS rape. You are under age and can't legally consent.

I feel a little better about this that you have been with him 2 years, it indicates that he is not just using you for sex. But on the other hand why were you in a relationship at 11?? I know you feel for him, but you have no experience or ability to truly judge this because you started this way too young.

And there is still the fact that he got drunk at 17. I would strongly you urge you to put a hold on this relationship. Maybe see other people (though at 13 I think you are still too young to date). You can always get back together if you find you do have real feelings for each other.

I wasn't 11 I had just turned 12, so not really 2 years but almost 2 years. He was drunk at 17 because we were in his house and we were with his mum when he was drinking. I understand what you're trying to say but I can handle this myself.

I understand what you're trying to say but I can handle this myself.

I'm sure you truly believe that. And I am just as sure that you can't even begin to handle this yourself. This is why there is an age of consent and an age of majority and age restrictions on when someone can legally drink etc, etc. Because young people have neither the experience nor emotional capability to handle these things themselves.

So come back when you are pregnant and alone, or battered and bruised because he beat you in a drunken rage. And tell us then how well you handled this. Oh that's right you don't believe that can happen because he cares about you. Sure!

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