I have been dating this wonderful guy off and on for about a year now. The times we broke up were my fault. He is going in the army in the next month or so. He wants to get married the day he graduates from bct, and he also wants to adopt my daughter. I know who her father is and he pays child support, but he is not listed on her birth certificate because he wasn't present for her birth. Rueben wants to adopt her by the time she is 2. well her 2nd birthday is fast approaching(july 22) and I know that kylies father is in iraq and isn't expected back until July or August. He doesn't want anything to do with her. He hasn't made any attempts to be a part of her life since she was born. So I don't think he will fight too hard. I just want to know if anyone knows about how much money and what steps we will have to take. I have an affidavit of parentage instead of his name being on the birthcertificate. I would rather have a man who loves her as his own and wasn't even there to conceive her then to have a man paying support who doesn't even care if she is alive and well.

The fathers name on the birth certificate has no bearing on this,

For the adoption the father of the child will have to give up all his righs.

You will need to hire an attorney who will do the paper work, the child's father will have to sign the documents and return them to the lawyer or court. But you can not really start the procedure till you are married, and your husband will need to appear in court most likely.

I also would say if this has been "off and on" are you sure at this point to jump into even the marriage, since he will be off to AIT for a few months most likely. And I will be honest men change during basic training and AIT so often waiting till it is over and seeing if things are still OK, can save a lot of heartache latter.

Also I will note that the adoption most certainly should wait, the girl will not know the difference and then it can be done when he is finsihed training and you are living together.