I have a 40 year old son who lives with me; I don't know at what he age he started drinking, but from what I've learned recently I guess it was when he was pretty young (maybe as early as the 6th grade). I was a stay at home mom and thought I was a good parent; guess I was clueless! He is an alcoholic, he has been in jail several times, been through rehab 3 or 4 times and was sober for several years at one time. The worse of it started about 15 years ago when his Dad left me. I think at the time it was good that we had each other make it through those 1st few years. The last few years he had been doing pretty good, keeping it under control, he had a good job and it paid well. He got injured on the job, the company took good care of his medical needs and even paid him while he was off. He went back to work and several months later they laid him off, he has been out of work for over a year now, had to let his new Mustang he had bought go back. He is in pain a lot of his injury and a previous back injury. So he drinks. I don't know how much or when he started drinking today, but by 2:00 he was stumbling drunk. Around 6pm I was sitting out on the patio, he was just stupid, didn't even know what he was doing, he laid down on our porch swing and fell out of it twice, the second time he pulled the blanket down with him and just laid there on the patio. He would wake up once in awhile and look around and say what the hell happened and then was out again. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't watch this. I went in the house and started dinner. He came in and passed out on his bed. Just a little while ago he woke up and started moaning and groaning, had the hic cups I asked if he were all right, he said no, he continued to sound like he was in a lot of pain, I asked if he needed help and what was wrong, he told me to shut up, then he started yelling, screaming like someone in a lot of pain, he was pounding his bed in frustration. This is very hard to deal with and listen too for a mother. I feel helpless, I know he has to want to get help and I know he doesn't want it. That is why it's not helped in the past. The time he did get help and went through it and finished and stayed sober for two years was because he did hit bottom, he had been out in my truck and got picked up, the truck got impounded, when I went to pick it up, it was wrecked on one side and he had no idea of what had happened, I think that scared him pretty bad.
I don't know what to do, this is affecting me. Where do I go for help!

Where do you live? (country, state)

Have you ever gone to an Al-Anon meeting? They meet somewhere near where you live.

My dear, I am going through the same thing here. I have heard about all the meetings and feel they might help me. I am still worried about my son, he is an alcoholic and will not stop. Jail time and he has been warned that he would be kicked out of my home, still does nothing to stop his behavior. I truly feel for you and wish I had a better answer for you. Try a meeting and see if it helps, can't hurt.
I am not a big religious person and don't believe in pushing my beliefs on anyone. Maybe someone from a Church could help in some way. I really feel your pain and frustration. My son and yours, sound identical and I wish you all the best in finding a solution. It is your son though, that needs to do the work.
I just saw the date on this post of yours and I am still going to submit this, in hopes it will help others out there dealing with this problem.
Best wishes and I will revisit here again.
Alcoholism is ever growing in this Country and it's a killer.
Be kind but be firm as well. Think positive and hope for the best.
Good luck all...