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aizeltine_2920
Jul 24, 2011, 05:45 PM
How do I know when I need to get over a long time crush(6 years) that liked me for some time but never became my boyfriend because I got separated from him? This situation kind of affects how I meet new guy friends.

I feel like I need to explain in this in details so I will do that.

Names: Me: Jasmine; My crush: Justine; My best friend: Clio; My crush's best friend: Noel.

So, me(Jasmine) liked Justine since I was 11(about to be 17 now) and he did not liked me till we were 13/14(he did not actually said that he liked me BUT I am sure he liked me). So when I was 13, he did not know that I like him but I gave him signals. We were actually in a club together so I get to see him like once a week. He knew that I liked him when my best friend(Clio) told him that I like him. I do not know what his reaction is and I do not like to know because I am afraid of rejection.

[Side Details: Justine likes Clio when we were 13. And because Clio doesn't want to hurt my feelings, Clio told me that Justine likes me. And Clio kept me knowing that(Justine liking me) for a whole year. Clio did not like Justine but she likes Justine's best friend, Noel.]
So a year went by, and when I knew the truth( Justine did not really like me for a girlfriend but for a friend only and that he likes Clio then), I was mad at Justine and Clio for three months. And we made up after that, so we four, were friends again.

When I was 14, I tried to tell myself to brush off the feelings I have for Justine but my heart wouldn't stop and no matter how I try, my heart kept disobeying. The summer when I was 14, all four of us were in a summer camp and I got really closer to Justine and his best friend, Noel. So, one day, the four of us were hanging out and Justine kept looking at me like he liked me. And then later that day, he cracked a joke in front of the whole camp, and then he looked at me that seemed like he wants to know if I find the joke funny and me being so dumb(trying to brush the feelings off) looked away.

And then, he just laughs at things that I do that is not really that funny. So, I just figured he liked me even once.
Then, when we were 15, and I was about to go to America( I was raised in the Philippines and was there for 15 years), I was about to tell him myself that I like him(WE were all SHY in front of each other and he is really shy in front of me although he talks to me in Facebook chat)and I was standing in front of the internet café that he always goes to, and then I saw him buying something at the store, and then when he saw me looking he made this "move" that seemed like he wants to be seen in a cool way. (Details: You know how we want to act cool in front of our crush? Yeah, that type of thing.)And because I chickened out,I, again, failed to tell him.

So, I went to America when I was about to turn 16. Again and again, I told myself to get over him now. One night, I found him online in Facebook, and we talked for like hours(told you he is not shy when Facebook chatting). Then, I told him I liked him for 5 years,then, and he gave me this response that I do not really get. He said,"Are you kidding me?No, like for real?" And then I said "yes" and then later on the chatting, he suddenly became sweet, like" Did you eat yet?You should sleep now or you'll get tired. I don't want you to get tired." And then I said something about being cold that night( it is a winter night) and he said" if he could just get in under a blanket with me, he will do that". It is really sweet. But then, we got separated by distance and because the time here in the America is not the same in the Philippines ,we talked less and less. Until I found out recently, that he already have a girlfriend. And I had been sleepless and not myself recently because of that. It just hurts so badly. As I said before, I had been trying to get over him but just can't. He just captured the whole me with his charm and I find letting him go the most difficult thing to do.

SO, How does this affects my relationship with making friends with guys and guys who likes me here in the US? I reject every guys who likes me and I maintain this distant relationship with guy friends so that I would not fall in love with them.

As to my strategies to getting over him, I "un-friended" him on Facebook and he "friended" me again and I "ignored" him and I think he just gave up and not "friended"me anymore.

So, what do I do?

Fr_Chuck
Jul 24, 2011, 06:12 PM
Everyone we have a "crush" or early love for has an effect on us and any future relationship ( that is what normally is considered baggage)

But it should only be a guide on how we look at others, not stopping us from relationships.

How long, 6 months to a year after that, it is too long to be seriously effecting us