Hey, I'm completely new to this so sorry if I babble!

I recently got back with my boyfriend of a year and a half in April. We had split last December when he left me because our relationship simply wasn't working. We both seemed to love each other but argued over the silliest things pretty much everyday.

When he left me I was distraught. We had been living together for just over a year and I still loved him like mad. Not long after the split, he had a new girlfriend, someone he had been talking to whilst we were still together. Even to this day he has promised nothing was going on, and I honestly believe him. (I'm going to be hypocritical later) but he was never the cheating type. After hearing about his new girlfriend, I became very emotional and made myself quite ill. I decided to cut contact with him after that.

He had hurt me to the point I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even eat.

Then 4 months later in April, we got back in contact and we met up. We both sat in my living room until early hours of the morning talking about how we felt, more so his feelings still being strong for me. That night we slept together, and saw each other again the next day, despite him still having his girlfriend. That night he went to see her, confessed all and said he wanted to be with me.

We got back together the following day and since then things have been perfect between us, but every now and then when I'm sat alone, I still think of how he hurt me and it brings me to tears. The relationship is perfect but I still can't forget how much he hurt me, even though I know myself it was for the best.

What should I do? :(
Help please!

Have you talked to him about these feelings?

I can understand if your trust's broken-as it seems odd that he was just ready to step into a new relationship shortly after you broke up.

Unless you can t a l k and resolve this I don't think this is going to work.

The same way you sat and talked about your feelings and decide to get back together, is the same way you have to sit and talk about your hurt over the break up, and resolve it.

I sincerely hope you prepare him by telling him to just sit, and listen without comment, because you need to unburden some deep nasty left over feelings.

For your part, stay calm and get about it, and I hope he is a good listener.

Good Luck

I think it's too soon to be involved with him again.

He was likely cheating with the girlfriend he ended up with, before the two of you split as you indicated. Then he cheats on her, with you. And now he dumps the girlfriend, and the two of you pick up where you left off.

So, if that isn't enough, I am wondering why you think things are going to work out this time. I would have more to say about the health of your relationship, if he hadn't cheated on you, and you hadn't cheated with him on his girlfriend.

If he were serious about you, he would have done the right and honourable thing, before he got involved again, with at least having the decency to split with his current girlfriend. Then, the two of you, when he was free, could have worked on and through the problems you had that split you up in the first place, from a distance, taking things slowly, perhaps couples counselling, etc. The problems are still there, unresolved for you, obviously.

There is no magic bullet to a relationship that ends, that starts up again with the same problems. Add to these problems is the fact that he broke up with you because of another woman. Now you are/were the other woman, and now he's dumped her.

Since you have got back together with him, you say things are perfect. They are not. Nothing has changed since you broke up with him, he is still the same person. Except that you know for a fact he cheats, and you aren't the only one he he has cheated on. He cheated on 'her' too remember.

If the two of you want this relationship to work, the only way I can see breaking through the emotion and euphoria of starting over again, or the honeymoon period as this is, is to get into couples counselling, and learn about each other, your problems together, the hurt and pain and issues leading up to and after the break, and forge forward to build a healthy relationship. The past has to be put in the past before you can build a future.

Good luck to you.