I've made a very regrettable mistake and took a guilty plea to a VIOLATION (not a misdemeanor or felony)and a non DV issue, but for Disorderly Conduct in a case brought against me by my son's mother that if I would've taken to trial undoubtedly would've won.

I am now fighting her for custody. I have come a long way since her exaggerated allegations approx 1 year ago. She alienated my son from me for 5 months, then forced me to have supervised visits and undergo various DV and Psych evaluations which have all come back excellent for me. I have never been arrested, or have any history of violence or crimes. I also have court ordered custody of my 3 children from my 1st marriage.

In addition, the therapists conducting my evaluations interviewed my son's mom and recommended that SHE in fact is the one in need of a psychiatric evaluation! She has completed hers and we are headed to court soon for the results to be turned over to the judge and the attorneys involved. Let me add that I have a TON of evidence that she has initiated violence towards me and 2 other men for many years. On top of that all the allegations she has made against me have been disproven. The judge in our case even said to both our attorneys that based on the evidence at hand " the father should have custody of the child" My attorney , however, did not want a trial or hearing without having her evaluated first. My question is: Is it a strong possibility that I will not get custody of my son because of the OP despite all of the things I've mentioned?

She has gone through 3 attorneys and just hired the latest one this week. He is a family law attny w a main focus in DV. I may be over thinking this, but the OP is her only "negative" against me. Yes, I know it's a serious negative. One last thing, a number of the therapists we had gone to when we were together as well as some who have evaluated us have made comments of Borderline Personality Disorder. I still don't know what her diagnosis, if any, is.

then forced me to have supervised visits and undergo various DV and Psych evaluations which have all come back excellent for me.

No, she did not force you to do anything. She took you to court and a court ruled in her favor. You have to understand that as a fact. You shouldn't go back into court with the attitude of the poor oppressed and father. That won't work.

What you need to do is assemble your documentation. Accentuate the positives. Bring the results of all your evaluations. Show the court that you have passed all of them. If the DO case is brought up, you simply answer that you made a mistake in judgment at the time and turn it back to the positives. State that all your evaluations since then have been very positive.

If her evaluation comes up negative, then your attorney will submit that as evidence to the court.

Very good! Thank you! I can't really say I've gone to court with a "poor" attitude. I wasn't planning on ding so either ( even if I am feeling that way). I think it's just the anxiety of NOT knowing what's next. Also, the fact that she is EXTREMELY manipulative to the point where she convinced the judge not to have her evaluated by the dr HE APPOINTED to evaluate me by saying " she was biased against her." lol! So, she basically told the judge he's using favoritism??

All of the evaluations - both mine and hers- go directly to the judge first and after he has had the opportunity to review them he hands out copies along with his opinion to the lawyers. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my long post. I DO appreciate it and will keep in my what you advised to discuss with my attorney in the morning.

Best..

All of the evaluations - both mine and hers- go directly to the judge first and after he has had the opportunity to review them he hands out copies along with his opinion to the lawyers. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my long post. I DO appreciate it and will keep in my what you advised to discuss with my attorney in the morning.


I had never heard of this in a trial/hearing setting. Its normal for it to be released to the respective parties and then to the judge as there may be mistakes in it or points that need to be disputed.

I didn't mean you had a "poor" attitude, but what you wrote about her forcing you conveys an impression that you feel put upon.

All of the evaluations - both mine and hers- go directly to the judge first and after he has had the opportunity to review them he hands out copies along with his opinion to the lawyers. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my long post. I DO appreciate it and will keep in my what you advised to discuss with my attorney in the morning.


I had never heard of this in a trial/hearing setting. Its normal for it to be released to the respective parties and then to the judge as there may be mistakes in it or points that need to be disputed.


Likewise, I've never heard of this - how can an Attorney address a report he doesn't see before the Hearing?

Interesting... and odd.

Likewise, I've never heard of this - how can an Attorney address a report he doesn't see before the Hearing?

Interesting ... and odd.

This is NOT a hearing or a TRIAL YET. It's a status conference. My evaluation was completed in January and the order stated that the therapist send the report to the judge and after the judge reviewed it he handed a copy to each attorney to review as well. After that, the lawyers could argue the results and request a trial or hearing.

My lawyer requested the evaluation of my son's mom based on the recommendations and the observations of the evaluator that conducted mine. Her attorney then stated it was "biased" ( this was a therapist ordered by the court, not one I picked out myself). So, the judge ordered an eval on her and the results are in the judge's chambers. He will be giving them to the attorneys tomorrow for review and then we'll see what direction this will head. I'm sure if her report comes back negative her attorney will try to dispute the findings IF, of course, he feels he has a substantial chance of winning OR she just demands it.

It's also possible they may try to mediate. I already know where I stand and I don't think I'm willing to budge. There is a lot more to this case and I won't and haven't lied or tried to excuse my behavior which was in response to her's. Now we're nearing the end and my son is beginning to understand that he has to leave with his mom on the days he's with me.

My son is with me every other day and every other weekend Friday- Monday. I have a lot of time with him. I was his primary caretaker. I continue to provide my son with everything he needs and always will. I want more time with my son and she's refusing to give it to me even after the law guardian's and judge's recommendations.

So, I hope that answers your questions.

This is NOT a hearing or a TRIAL YET. It's a status conference. My evaluation was completed in January and the order stated that the therapist send the report to the judge and after the judge reviewed it he handed a copy to each attorney to review as well. After that, the lawyers could argue the results and request a trial or hearing.

My lawyer requested the evaluation of my son's mom based on the recommendations and the observations of the evaluator that conducted mine. Her attorney then stated it was "biased" ( this was a therapist ordered by the court, not one i picked out myself). So, the judge ordered an eval on her and the results are in the judge's chambers. he will be giving them to the attorneys tomorrow for review and then we'll see what direction this will head. I'm sure if her report comes back negative her attorney will try to dispute the findings IF, of course, he feels he has a substantial chance of winning OR she just demands it.

It's also possible they may try to mediate. I already know where I stand and I don't think I'm willing to budge. There is a lot more to this case and I won't and haven't lied or tried to excuse my behavior which was in response to her's. Now we're nearing the end and my son is beginning to understand that he has to leave with his mom on the days he's with me.

My son is with me every other day and every other weekend Friday- Monday. I have a lot of time with him. I was his primary caretaker. I continue to provide my son with everything he needs and always will. I want more time with my son and she's refusing to give it to me even after the law guardian's and judge's recommendations.

So, I hope that answers your questions.


It is still odd for the courts to work like that. Often times when they want evidence to be presented they don't want it changed only reviewed for content. That way a decision can be made. If there is a mistake in the papers it wouldn't be caught until after a judge sees and as you have said rules on it. That just seems odd. Another odd thing is courts normally don't use just one evaluator. If you have an order for evaluation the courts normally provide you with a list of court approved ones. Usually a list of 3 different ones and the person getting the evaluation done chooses. (or the parties choose)

It is still odd for the courts to work like that. Often times when they want evidence to be presented they dont want it changed only reviewed for content. That way a decision can be made. If there is a mistake in the papers it wouldnt be caught until after a judge sees and as you have said rules on it. That just seems odd. Another odd thing is courts normally dont use just one evaluator. If you have an order for evaluation the courts normally provide you with a list of court approved ones. Usually a list of 3 different ones and the person getting the evaluation done chooses. (or the parties choose)

They did have a list of different therapists. I wanted mine done ASAP because my son was being alienated from me. My ex said she couldn't afford it and that she didn't want the same dr because she was ". Biased" towards her. So, she went someplace else. The judge also put in her order he did NOT want custody recommendations - just facts. I found it a bit bizarre as well, but we'll see tomorrow.

Good Luck and please keep us posted when the outcome is known. Thanks.