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Angel121
Jul 20, 2011, 02:16 AM
I am in the same situation. I live in south africa, my son is 11 months old and the father wants no contact with me or him until he is about 4, he abused me and I laid a case against him, he is now going to america to keep his name clean is south africa... I filled an protection order against him that he can only see the child under supervision cause of his abuse acts and threatened the hit our child into hospital. He occasionally abuses alcohol as well and I assume that's why he is leaving for America until the child is about 4, cause he wants to then fight for visitation and sleep overs. We live in different cities (3hours away from each other) what is his right when he all of a sudden wants to come back into our child's life? Can he fight to change the protection order for visits under no supervision in a few years time? And what age is appropriate for slaap overs to his father if he drinks, and stays with his parents that also drink and they are all on anit depression pills, and we stay in different cities?

ScottGem
Jul 20, 2011, 03:13 AM
First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on someone else's. This can lead to confusion. You should start a new thread. So I've moved your question to its own thread.

No one can predict the future. But if a court granted supervised visitation, it is unlikely to change it until he can prove its not necessary. He will probably have to continue supervised visits until the supervisor can judge its not necessary. Leaving the country for 3 years is not likely to endear him to the courts.

Also its not that easy to just move to America.

JudyKayTee
Jul 20, 2011, 03:15 AM
If you file against him in South Africa he can move wherever he wants but the case in South Africa remains on the books. Is he a US citizen? Otherwise I don't know how he plans to simply enter the US and "hide" here.

He is the father and always has a right to come back into the child's life. In that case you would have to prove he's a danger to the child either physically or mentally.

I find no age limitations and it appears to be at the discretion of the Court.

This is the problem when you have sex with people who drink and drug and you get pregnant - you fight over custody until the child is almost an adult.

Angel121
Jul 20, 2011, 05:40 AM
Scott I apologize for piggybacking on someone else's question, just thought cause we were in the same situation I could ask questions awell, so again I apologize.

Judy, the father and I were together for 6 years and in the 6 years we were 2 years engaged... my situation comes from parents that interfere and bribe with money as they HAVE money... he travels to America to work on farms, has been over a few times, but when his parents went over board and couldn't leave me alone, I asked for us to go overseas and he didn't want to as he has his own business to run, all of a sudden he is now going over that is why I assume he is now going to "hide" to keep his name clean for when he comes back he can fight me, cause he is well known for fighting in his town and does it when he drinks... so even after he beated me and I have so much evidence and threatened to hit our child (got in on recording) he can just come back and get supervised visitation rights?

JudyKayTee
Jul 20, 2011, 07:48 AM
He can get supervised visitation IF the Court thinks that supervised visitation is in the best interest of the child. Supervised does NOT mean supervised by his family - it CAN mean supervised by a third party (such as a social worker).

Did you have him arrested when he beat you?

Angel121
Jul 20, 2011, 08:20 AM
Judy, no I laid an assult case against him, he pleaded guilty and just had to pay a fine... I had all the evidence of that night he beat me so I think he knew he had no chance but to plead guilty... he did sleep in jail for one night when he didn't appear in court for the detective but that was it. Now he want to go overseas to keep his name clean.. our son is to young for me to just go and drop him off there for the night (thats what they were expecting) so he writes our son off till he is old enough for sleep overs, its sad actually cause I have never refused for him to see our son, but only under supervision and my interdict states he can only see his son in my house and cannot remove him from my premises and nor him or his parents wants it that way cause his parents think I want him back and if we are in one house together thinking we will get back together, but I don't want him back, I just want what's best for our son, and I'm not going to allow him to just "forget" he has a son for a few years then all of a sudden come and disrupt everything, so I advised his lawyer that he either starts playing daddy now and bonds with his son even under supervision, or he writes him off completely as I was advised that our son will have to go through therapy and counselling when his dad pitches up in his life as he will be strangers to him. And at 4 years old therapy! Not going to happen in my eyes, I don't know what to do anymore> I'm heartbroken for what lies ahead for my son

ScottGem
Jul 20, 2011, 03:57 PM
First, no need to apologize, this is a not uncommon newbie mistake. Just learn for the future.

OK, so he is on record for having plead guilty to domestic violence. He would have to prove that he can manage his violent tendencies to get unsupervised visitation.