PDA

View Full Version : 4 years lack of attraction


nmalsenido1
Jul 11, 2011, 12:21 PM
I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over 4 years now but things are just not working out. I'm in love with him, but he doesn't love me that way. We met through some friends and immediately hit it off. Our personalities although are not exactly alike we get along excellent! A few months after we started dating I got pregnant with his baby so we decided to move in together. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage and got into a depression where I ended up gaining a lot of weight. I will say that I was never a skinny girl when I met him but he has always been very aware of HIS body. He lives to exercise.

We had troubles throughout the entire time. There where times that I would let him go out with his friend while I was working and he'll pics of him with other girls on his cell. There were a couple of times that I wanted to break things off, he would get on his knees and start crying begging me not to do it... so I didn't. As time went by things were never great. Like I said before we always had that chemistry but I guess he just wasn't feeling me.

He does have a lot of anxiety, OCD, and some depression issues, not to mention he's ADHD. We broke up for the first time 8 months ago because he cheated on me. He was seeing this girl behind my back. He swore he never had sex with her but I wouldn't know because he has lie to me plenty of times before, including talking to girls on the phone and so on.

After we broke up we were still talking mostly because I wanted to do so and he confessed that he had cheated on me before that and had actually had sex with someone else twice. That destroyed me even more leaving me to pieces. While we were broken up he ended up not staying with the girl he cheated on me with and started spending more time with me. We were having sex then more than we had before.

I told him I wanted to be beck with him cause I love him so much and hated being without him and so about a couple of months after breaking up we got together again. It's been 4 months or so since we've been back together and now he's been lying to me again, talking and flirting with girls, giving/getting phone numbers and he has just said to me that he is not attracted to me. He told me that I'm his everything but there only thing missing is the attraction.

I know that him and I are perfect together and we can have a great happy life. I have gotten in the workout mood and starting losing weight, and he can tell it too, but he said that he is still not attracted to me. He said he wants a girl that looks like a cheerleader. And I'm not there yet. We haven't had sex for months. He told me he doesn't want to touch me or even kiss me.

I just love him so much I want to make things works but it's pretty obvious that they won't. The reason why I'm writing is to ask if there is anything I can do to salvage our relationship and have him see that he can be attracted to me.

Please help!

talaniman
Jul 11, 2011, 02:16 PM
You should have left the lying cheater alone when you first broke up, but since you couldn't dump him again, and get out of dodge.

How do you even believe anything he says?

vanheart
Jul 11, 2011, 05:23 PM
I agree. Forget him. He's a liar, cheater & shows you zero respect.

Let him find a cheerleader.

Rah Rah.

Leave him in the dust & find a decent guy.

amicon
Jul 11, 2011, 10:32 PM
He lies,he cheats-he shows you no respect-time to walk away.

kcomissiong
Jul 12, 2011, 06:20 AM
He doesn't love you, he isn't attracted to you, he doesn't respect you, he is cheating, and he doesn't care about your feelings. On what level is this actually a relationship? You may as well make official what is happening already, and save yourself more heartache and humiliation.

mj808
Jul 13, 2011, 07:30 AM
I think you know the answer to your own question. The statement "but he doesn't love me that way" and the fact that he doesn't touch you is enough grounds for you to leave. There is nothing you can do at this point but move on. Its so hard because you love his so much but remember this: There are literally billions of people on this Earth. Statistically someone is going to have the ability to make you much happier. Take a chance,take care of yourself, and do NOT look back.