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View Full Version : My Wife has Cheated and I'm lost


VinnyC
Jul 8, 2011, 10:23 AM
I just recently found out my wife has been cheating with an ex of hers for the last 3 months - We have only been married for 15 months and have a baby girl together -

First I don't know what has happened to me I have always considered myself a good person. My parents have been married for over 50 years and I've seen what it takes to make a marriage work - I waited until I was in my mid 30's before I made the step for marriage because I wanted to be certain it would last forever. I thought I had finally found that person and devoted myself to her and my son like no other. I have provided a wonderful house and we don't want for money or anything. At night I would go to bed and think wow this was the best day of my life and it just kept getting better until the day I found out -

I found out she had snuck out of the house at 5:30am while my son and I were sleeping to see this person - the only way to describe the way I feel is by comparing it to losing a loved one - I go through bouts of trying to be nice to her to crying uncontrollably to being so angry at her and what she has done - the thing that really hurts is it took her 3 days to decide if she was going to be with me and my daughter - I try and put myself in those shoes and my comment would be yes I want to stay and I'll do anything to make this work but I feel like I'm trying to keep her -

I understand you can't make someone love you and that hurts especially when you feel that and you have a young daughter involved - I don't know what to do - anybody that has been in a situation like this I would appreciate any help or words you might have to offer - It has taken every ounce I have to get out of bed and continue my day - I know time helps but right now that seems so far off - What is the best thing for my daughter - I thought I had a good head on my shoulders and know right from wrong but to be honest I am lost and have no idea what's best

tickle
Jul 8, 2011, 12:56 PM
Vinny, where does this situation sit right now? Are you and she still living together and caring for your daughter; interacting, etc. Have things calmed down to the point where you both can talk? And last but not least, how did you find out about all of this?

I know lots of questions, but answering them will give you more satisfactory answers from us in the long rung. I sympathize by the way, so don't get your shirt in a knot thinking I am just blowing smoke.

Awaiting your reply :)

Tick

answerme_tender
Jul 9, 2011, 09:42 PM
The loss of the trust in your spouse from cheating is like a death. You need time to mourn that loss. This not something you need to do alone, its all right to ask for help from family and friends. Getting professional help will also help. As for when will the pain subside, then all I can say is TIME.

Take care