I was dating my ex girlfreind for 3 yrs but within those three years I broke her heart twice but she still manged to get back with me and love me the same. After I broke her heart the second time she still mangaged to come back to me but now she doesn't feel the spark anymore because she still can't overcome the scars I left her but she tells me she cares and loves but she also says she doesn't know if it's the love I want . What do I do please help I'm trully heartbroken and its only been a day

What took you so long to figure it out? Oh that's right, you got dumped. Take your medicine, and let her heal. She deserves it. For once, try not to be selfish.

Figure what out and so do u think that she's trully done with me this time since she tried to love me the same for a month but she just couldn't

Dude, whatever you did, seemed to have killed it for her. What was it?

Well the 1st time I broke up with her because I tore my acl and mcl in football and I was extremely devastated and depressed so I told her I couldn't have a girlfriend cause I was too to depressed which was stupid of me cause I broke her heart for a dumb reason and the second time was because she found out I was texting with a girl which was nothing just texting but once again I disrespected her position as a girlfriend and she dumped me

How old are you both? I think we all make mistakes but our relationships and feelings are subject to change. It happens all the time, no one is perfect, and even the most in love don't make it very long. Break ups suck, no matter the reason, and it's a learning experience.

They don't call it growing pains for nothing. We all go through it, at one time or another.

Well I just graduated from high school and my ex is in her 2nd year in college so I'm 18 and she's 20 and we've been together since my sophomore yr while she was a senior

Often some times there are no second chances and really seldom a third chance. When you chose to break up, that break up is normally it, you had other chances and seem to have destroyed those.

You move on, and hopefully learn from your mistake.

You appear to be taking out your personal other issues on her, as if they were her fault, When you did the first break up for example, that is when you want friends closer, not chasing them away.

Yea I know your right but this girl says she loves me and cares about me but doesn't feel the same.

My ex told me after she broke up with that she's sorry for hurting me , its kills her to hear me cry and she's really hurting right now for having to dump me because she can't love me the same as I do and that I'm a great guy I wish you the best in your future ill probably regret it but I still have scars that are a little open I need to heal first from the two times Ive broken her heart , she said shell always be there for me and she cares so much for me but what do I do after she told me this

You leave her alone!!

But does this mean I don't have a chance with her anymore or does it just mean she needs time

Doesn't make a difference does it? You have to heal, move on and accept what she told you regardless don't you? Then just do so because you have to. If you don't know what's on her mind who else does?

Yeah well she told me that she's probably going to regret dumping cause I'm a great guy and she saw that I was changing and doing my best to make her happy

You be strong and move on. She most likely was even being nice and most likely has other feelings but was trying to be nice in the break up.

You say you broke her heart twice? It appears she is tired and does not want a third

Yea that's what I was thinking but then again the last month we had together she did try her best to get that spark for me so I kind of do believe her I'm a screw up and I'm just going to face the obstacles coming

She gave you a fair chance, it didn't work and now you're on your own, so none of that pity stuff, please. You will survive and thrive and be better for it so hold your head up, and move forward.

No need to keep starting new questions, as so far they have been all merged together in the same place.

Yea your right but do you still think that there's hope of her coming back to me I'm not going to waite for her or anything I'm going to move forward and forget about her but I'm wodering if there is hope since we were together for so long

Nope. Move on.

"I broke her heart twice but she still manged to get back with me"

Boo hoo.

Now that you don't have her, you want her. After you screwed her over twice. Now you want answers.

What is she waiting for a third time?

You already now know the deal, you just don't want to face it.

C'mon man take some responsibility for your actions.

Don't talk to her anymore. No sense screwing w/each others heads.

Just don't do that to the next girl.

I hurt her twice and she forgave and after the first time we managed to still be in love and stay together then after the second time I messed up she forgave me again and we got back but then after a month being together she told me that she didn't love me as much as I did and she didn't want to hurt me any longer so she dummped me but she still has feelings for me just afraid to give me her heart again and I don't know if this time she's trully done with me cause she lost the spark for me

Like Tal said, stop the pity stuff. Stop apologizing & move on.

There's other girls. Learn from this relationship.

Let go of this one.

Take a breather.

So she's gone for good

Yup.

Here's the thing.

Whether you are young or old. The first girl or last. It doesn't matter.

We make mistakes. Ive made tons.

Treat others as you wish to be treated. A simple rule. Don't break hearts. (not sure how exactly you did that) Doesn't matter anyway.

Sometimes our mistakes come with pain.

Karma always prevails. Don't try to repair it now. If I was her, I wouldn't want to see if you break her heart again. In fact, I would want someone that doesn't.

Be a man, move on, and learn from this for the next time.

If you do, you can be a better partner, at the right time.

Go NC now. Leave her be. Don't respond to her ever.

I hear what your saying and thank you so much for your advice I appricate your time dealing with me

Cool.

Glad that you are listening. I know what its like.

There's a time where we decide to break free of our pain & move on. Figure out ways to do so.

That's what you have to do.

Its easy & hard at the same time.

First thing, no her.
Next thing, all you.

Continue next thing for a while.
Repeat.

Then..

Yeah that's basicallly what I'm going to do and like everyone say if its love we had then will be forever if its not then we weren't meant to be

I believe that one too. A great one.

One of those sayings I laughed at until later...

Yea so I'm just going to let it be and the truth will come out

You already know the truth.

Give yourself a few months or a year. Without her in your daily life. Or thoughts.

Change sh%T

See how you feel then.

Then come back. Let me know how you are doing.

Im sure you will be happier.

Yeah that's what ill do and she just texted me rightnow and she said that she can't believe I'm not talking to her for being honest with me

You have 2 choices.

Either go NC, or not.

Stop texting her. Im starting to feel like you are playing us. Are you?

Later skater. Im going to bail..

Look up the NC rules.

I'm not texting her at all I'm ignoring her

Cool.
Delete her number.
Facebook, whatever.

Don't even look.

The less from her now, the better.

Sad, I know. But, the only way.

Use this method in the future. She isn't going to be the last one that breaks your heart.

Hopefully.

Yeah I have already and I wanted to add that I was her first for everything and she was my first for everything so I don't know if that changes things a bit or is it the same

Nope. Its all the same. Just stay on NC.

Oh all right is there a possibily that my ex will realize I trully I'm the one for her and if she does what should I do that way I can be prepared to do the right thing

No. You got it all wrong.

You are reverting.

Like you've been doing since you started here.

She isn't coming back. You shouldn't wait.

NC. Here's the link. Read it before you post again.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/nc-rules-faqs-510423.html

Look back to talaniman's first answer.

That says it all.

I'm not going to be waiting for her nor anything I'm doing the nc rule no matter what and I just read the link and that's what I'm going to do I was just saying that what if one day she appears and wants me

Don't bet on it.

I guess you didn't REALLY read it.
Read it again. Let it sink in. Im leaving until you do.

No I won't bet on it I just don't want to do the same mistake I did when she wanted me back I actually thought she was ready to be with me and love me but that wasn't the case and she hurt me

I think that you pretty much have your answer here. She gave it a try, and knew that her feelings were not the same after your betrayal, so she left. Its over. Take it as a lesson learned: Respect you partner, and your relationship next time.

Like you have hurt her before? Come on, what kind of healthy relationship is about taking turns hurting your partner? You need to make a choice and stick to it, and stop worrying about what if she farts to the left, or right.

You both need healing, and time and space to get your confused heads out of the clouds.

What ifs, are not facts in which to act on, let alone dwell on. Deal with the facts, not the fantasy.

Thank you I will