tilda34
Jul 1, 2011, 12:24 PM
I was with a girl for about 18 months and we have recently split up. She was completely in love with me and would have done anything for me, I loved her and looked after her but due to arguing I didn't always give her the attention she gave me. She would argue over nothing and never seem to let me here the end of it, some times she got a bit violent which pushed me away more, some times I was embarrassed by things.
I made some mistakes and she also did, she had a very argumenatative temper at times which caused no end of problems for myself, my friends and her. She was insecure which I admit I didn't help, I have a lot of female friends which she struggled with and I'm a sociable person which sometimes she struggled with.
When we were together I always knew in my head that this wasn't going to last forever and I had doubts that I wanted to stick with her, I have my own house and she lived here most of the time. At home we got on mostly great, we cuddled all night and things were all I could ever want... it was when we were out and about we struggled.
This is the hard bit... Her job wasn't good, poor money etc so I managed to get her a job where I work, I knew this may cause trouble later on but I didn't like to see her with no money and upset. This was great at the beginning but due to working in a factory with lots of men she was always being looked at of which I had no problem with as she was mine. Now this is far from the case.
We split about a month ago and she has totally changed, Imgutted and in a bad state, I've sent her flowers, apologised for my mistakes, forgiven her and done all I can, probably having a negative effect. Ive taken the blame in my head for things that were way out of my control and things I tried to fix, I've had all the thoughts that if I did this and this then it would be different. I know I'm not unreasonable, my friends always tell me I'm a good guy and mostly doubted my ex
A week after we finished I managed to get her to come and see me, I was upset and she was strong, I asked for her to come back but she said no as she wants to be on her own, not worry about me and her and all that, I asked if there was someone else of which she said no... so off she went and left me in tears.
I knew a bloke at work had being giving her attention, he has 2 kids, his wife has left him, he's not nice but I text my ex early one morning last week drunk with a soppy text, the reply was leave me alone which upset me more. On Monday this guy then decided to message me saying I had woken him up txting her, I was distraught. I don't know if they are together, spending time together or if it is him trying to push me away from her.
I was so upset I told her to take back all the nice things I'd said and done recently as I hate her (ive never hated anyone) and to tell him I don't need to know what he has been up to. I still don't know if there is anything or not. She tells me she's done nothing wrong and ever lied.
I know in my head things were never great between my and my ex but now she's gone I'm devastated, I see her at work which is so hard I struggle, she walks past with her phone txting or on it all the time, she won't speak and knows I'm hurting so so much and then there is this lad who I don't know what is going on with. I just can't understand why she would ever go near him, he's awful and she has no future at all with him. She's even basically said the same to a friend recently.
Obviously I'm hurting a lot and at the moment I hate going to work, all I want is for her to come knocking on my door and come back although I know this is not necessarily a good idea. Is there any advice, I know I need to get over her but I struggle to see how I can when she is acting they way she is.
She is only 23 and I think I was her first love, I've been hurt before.
I made some mistakes and she also did, she had a very argumenatative temper at times which caused no end of problems for myself, my friends and her. She was insecure which I admit I didn't help, I have a lot of female friends which she struggled with and I'm a sociable person which sometimes she struggled with.
When we were together I always knew in my head that this wasn't going to last forever and I had doubts that I wanted to stick with her, I have my own house and she lived here most of the time. At home we got on mostly great, we cuddled all night and things were all I could ever want... it was when we were out and about we struggled.
This is the hard bit... Her job wasn't good, poor money etc so I managed to get her a job where I work, I knew this may cause trouble later on but I didn't like to see her with no money and upset. This was great at the beginning but due to working in a factory with lots of men she was always being looked at of which I had no problem with as she was mine. Now this is far from the case.
We split about a month ago and she has totally changed, Imgutted and in a bad state, I've sent her flowers, apologised for my mistakes, forgiven her and done all I can, probably having a negative effect. Ive taken the blame in my head for things that were way out of my control and things I tried to fix, I've had all the thoughts that if I did this and this then it would be different. I know I'm not unreasonable, my friends always tell me I'm a good guy and mostly doubted my ex
A week after we finished I managed to get her to come and see me, I was upset and she was strong, I asked for her to come back but she said no as she wants to be on her own, not worry about me and her and all that, I asked if there was someone else of which she said no... so off she went and left me in tears.
I knew a bloke at work had being giving her attention, he has 2 kids, his wife has left him, he's not nice but I text my ex early one morning last week drunk with a soppy text, the reply was leave me alone which upset me more. On Monday this guy then decided to message me saying I had woken him up txting her, I was distraught. I don't know if they are together, spending time together or if it is him trying to push me away from her.
I was so upset I told her to take back all the nice things I'd said and done recently as I hate her (ive never hated anyone) and to tell him I don't need to know what he has been up to. I still don't know if there is anything or not. She tells me she's done nothing wrong and ever lied.
I know in my head things were never great between my and my ex but now she's gone I'm devastated, I see her at work which is so hard I struggle, she walks past with her phone txting or on it all the time, she won't speak and knows I'm hurting so so much and then there is this lad who I don't know what is going on with. I just can't understand why she would ever go near him, he's awful and she has no future at all with him. She's even basically said the same to a friend recently.
Obviously I'm hurting a lot and at the moment I hate going to work, all I want is for her to come knocking on my door and come back although I know this is not necessarily a good idea. Is there any advice, I know I need to get over her but I struggle to see how I can when she is acting they way she is.
She is only 23 and I think I was her first love, I've been hurt before.