I was with a girl for about 18 months and we have recently split up. She was completely in love with me and would have done anything for me, I loved her and looked after her but due to arguing I didn't always give her the attention she gave me. She would argue over nothing and never seem to let me here the end of it, some times she got a bit violent which pushed me away more, some times I was embarrassed by things.
I made some mistakes and she also did, she had a very argumenatative temper at times which caused no end of problems for myself, my friends and her. She was insecure which I admit I didn't help, I have a lot of female friends which she struggled with and I'm a sociable person which sometimes she struggled with.

When we were together I always knew in my head that this wasn't going to last forever and I had doubts that I wanted to stick with her, I have my own house and she lived here most of the time. At home we got on mostly great, we cuddled all night and things were all I could ever want... it was when we were out and about we struggled.

This is the hard bit... Her job wasn't good, poor money etc so I managed to get her a job where I work, I knew this may cause trouble later on but I didn't like to see her with no money and upset. This was great at the beginning but due to working in a factory with lots of men she was always being looked at of which I had no problem with as she was mine. Now this is far from the case.

We split about a month ago and she has totally changed, Imgutted and in a bad state, I've sent her flowers, apologised for my mistakes, forgiven her and done all I can, probably having a negative effect. Ive taken the blame in my head for things that were way out of my control and things I tried to fix, I've had all the thoughts that if I did this and this then it would be different. I know I'm not unreasonable, my friends always tell me I'm a good guy and mostly doubted my ex

A week after we finished I managed to get her to come and see me, I was upset and she was strong, I asked for her to come back but she said no as she wants to be on her own, not worry about me and her and all that, I asked if there was someone else of which she said no... so off she went and left me in tears.

I knew a bloke at work had being giving her attention, he has 2 kids, his wife has left him, he's not nice but I text my ex early one morning last week drunk with a soppy text, the reply was leave me alone which upset me more. On Monday this guy then decided to message me saying I had woken him up txting her, I was distraught. I don't know if they are together, spending time together or if it is him trying to push me away from her.
I was so upset I told her to take back all the nice things I'd said and done recently as I hate her (ive never hated anyone) and to tell him I don't need to know what he has been up to. I still don't know if there is anything or not. She tells me she's done nothing wrong and ever lied.


I know in my head things were never great between my and my ex but now she's gone I'm devastated, I see her at work which is so hard I struggle, she walks past with her phone txting or on it all the time, she won't speak and knows I'm hurting so so much and then there is this lad who I don't know what is going on with. I just can't understand why she would ever go near him, he's awful and she has no future at all with him. She's even basically said the same to a friend recently.

Obviously I'm hurting a lot and at the moment I hate going to work, all I want is for her to come knocking on my door and come back although I know this is not necessarily a good idea. Is there any advice, I know I need to get over her but I struggle to see how I can when she is acting they way she is.

She is only 23 and I think I was her first love, I've been hurt before.

Poor broken hearted guy. Did all he could, and now he is alone and has to see the girl that dumped him, all the time now. Well that's what you get for being so nice and staying with the witch who beat you and made you miserable.

Look at it like you are free of that nonsense, and be grateful for the chance to do better. Sounds like you came out of this one with a great win, if you start seeing it that way, and celebrate.

No more hell for you buddy, now stop crying over the spilled milk and have a great time with your buddies.

Say a prayer for the poor fool who falls for her next. That's the least you could do.

Thanks for you reply, I know its right - your not the first one who has called her a witch over the last few days.

I know I have to change my ways a little as I didn't help things at times but there is no doubt I will do this and the next person I'm with won't see the mistakes I've previously made.
I will try and be strong, my mind ticks and ticks with what I can do next to try and get her back but I know she would have to change of which I'm not to sure she will. I don't eat and sleep properly but I slowly feel I'm getting over it. Not that I want to though, she could be the best lady in the world at times and these are the times I remember, I seem to forget the bad and just want her back.

I haven't contacted her for nearly a week now, I don't think there is much more I can do. From the start she has said it was over and has been quite firm about it but it's the way she does not care and has left my heart broken and seems to like trampling all over it. If it were the other way round I would have to be there to comfort her, she's very hard towards this :-(

Thanks for your advice, it does make things easier. When I feel I want to contact her I log on here and read up on things.

I still hope she comes knocking on my door - I just don't know if I could forgive her.

Stop tripping.

Sounds like you are obsessed with this chick that no longer wants you & treated you bad.
Bad all around actually.

Don't be a puss.

She's a continued recipe for disaster. Actually you and her together.
If that's what you want, then continue with her as your problem.

I say spilt, Vacate, Disappear. Be cool.
Screw the past.