Ok, everyone. *** feel free to provide me with any insights, advice on talking to a man. Such as - what are some topics I can talk about when I meet men!
More background-
I just moved to a new country as an expat, large city, lots going on!
I think there is good potential to meet someone and I am willing to make time to have one now.lol
First of all, in big international cities like this one, I find people tend to ask where are you from? What do you do? Etc
I am no better than anyone but when it comes to what do you do, I can simply say what I do in general term ( e.g. commercial analysis) without mention my title ( I certainly am modest, don't burst about my accomplishment.) Then men keep asking - so who you work for? I am in automobile industry, thus it immediately catches men's attention. They must keep asking " oh which car?" Normally after I tell them the name of my company, they start to "WOW" and topics go straight to the car but each other, lol. I started as an engineer in my early career so I can talk about cars from engines to horsepower etc.
I really try to avoid conversations like that b.c. I don't want to intimitate guys, I've spent too much time at work so really don't want to talk more about it either.
So what else can I say when I meet a man? It seems in a city that full of expats they are so interested in what I do and who I work for!
Now sometimes they will ask where I traveled or lived because many of them are cultured, I normally tell the truth not to brag but I did have traveled a lot more than an avg. person at my age. Other common topics will be which side of city I am living, then again it happens to be the high end area.
I don't want to intimitate any man or lose an opportunity to get to know one. But it is just any questions they've asked, I topped them unintentionally. I wonder if that will drive men away. I try to answer those questions as general as I can, but I really can't lie about it. They wow or "damn" about it, I didn't even know what else to say. I am sweet, and compilement them too never correct them if they said anything wrong ( especially about cars, lol ;). But I still feel that they are a bit intimitated or backed off. I feel that!
I of course try to ask them questions, but they ask me back like I said I just happen to top them! I am being myself, I can't lie just to play down.

What else can I say now? I understand men have egos, want to feel good about themselves, I never try to compete with them or put them down never.I really try to meet men, learn from them and become better friends, if it's nothing romantic it's okay with me. I am happy just to meet more friends in a new city. At least I can always talk about cars with them. :)
Normally what happens at the end of a conversation between me and a man is that
1. they wonder if they can get discount from me when buying my company's car
2. If I can get them a job there

I don't want to be HR or saleman! :D I am a good girl who just want to meet a good guy start as friend first!

Where do you usually meet men? Anywhere? At clubs? While shopping? At bars? At church?

May I ask which city/country you are in (might give me ideas for what to say to men there), or would you rather not post that information?

I suspect you may sabotage yourself by the way you think of yourself and your life. For starters you say:

"I certainly am modest, don't burst about my accomplishment... Now sometimes they will ask where I traveled or lived because many of them are cultured, I normally tell the truth not to brag but I did have traveled a lot more than an avg. person at my age ... Other common topics will be which side of city I am living, then again it happens to be the high end area... I topped them unintentionally... I just happen to top them! I am being myself, I can't lie just to play down."

A little modesty goes a long way. I am a female and I find you off putting.

You simply don't come across to me (and others may disagree) as a sincere person. You appear to think dating is a competition.

Other than where you live, what you drive, your job, your travels, what do you offer a man?

When questioned about where I live, what I drive, where I've traveled, my job, I spoke (I'm now married) in VERY general terms. It's not a competiton and when you first meet someone it's really none of their business.

You did have a boyfriend - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/bf-like-gf-572895.html - and that was all about your job and your income.

The biggest thing I can offer is virtue. You don't know me well enough, in daily life I dress down, am frugal and have very strong morals. I don't mention my work unless people ask.
I do feel they ask rather personal questions in this city I am at now (Europe), but it seems to be the pattern here... not like in the US, men don't go for such personal information at the beginning.

Have you tried turning the conversation around and asking them what they do, where they are from, etc? You see, many men like to talk about themselves.

The biggest thing I can offer is virtue. You don't know me well enough, in daily life I dress down, am frugal and have very strong morals. I don't mention my work unless people ask.
I do feel they ask rather personal questions in this city I am at now (Europe), but it seems to be the pattern here...not like in the US, men don't go for such personal information at the beginning.


You don't HAVE to answer personal questions. Deflect them, give vague answers, turn the conversation in another direction.

Where are you meeting the men who ask such personal questions?

Yes I asked them back, they did love to talk about themselves. Lol. They do have a lot to say as well.
I met them in Expat event. Not in club or anything, they seem to be pretty good selection of men from talking to them.

E.g.
Men: so what you here for?
Me: For work
Men: Oh what do you do?
Me: Finance ( that's as general as I can)
Men: oh for who?
Me: Automobile company.
Men: Oh Which one? (more exciting, lol) Then they even give me two options, is it A company or B Company?

I don't know how to change this conversation then? Please give me more details on how exactly I can change this topic or deal with it without giving info. ( One time I said, I don't want to talk about work after work, then they seem to be a bit offended)
I honestly don't like to tell them whom I work for. I ask them back they do tell me who they work for though, it's like nothing personal, lol.

Try this

Men: so what you here for?
Me: Just to mingle and meet people. How about you?

Hey good one!
I took "what you here for" as what you are in this city for!
See it can be read as "what you are here in this event for?", that's a good one! THANKS
Even though they meant to ask why I am here in this city, I can still pretend I read it your way J_9 ;)

Even though they meant to ask why I am here in this city, I can still pretend I read it your way J_9 ;)

Absolutely! Then, when they ask why you are in the city, what would you say?

We can do a little "role play" here.

I needs tips on meeting men- what to say?? Hello C:

I went into business with a guy who wanted to learn how to sell. He kept asking, "what words do I say?" I told him to establish a relationship. I don't know WHAT words to use to do that. People either know how to CONNECT, or they DON'T. You don't sound like you do.

To ME, I'd rather talk about what people THINK, rather than what they have, or what they do... I mean, after you've listed all your possessions and your talents, what's left to talk about??

So, try this... You SAY one of your biggest assets is your virtue... Cool. Have a conversation about THAT. Say, "Hi, I'm CFZD, and I'm extremely virtuous. How about you?"

excon

I can say... b.c. it's the center of Europe! :) Easy to travel to the rest of Europe?

(I know I am too serious lots of times, when I meet someone I take it very seious, I hope the friendship last so I tend to answer the questions directly).

If I am answering like this would they think I am not sincere?

I also talk about culture difference a lot, I found that's a good way to connect with others since most of them are well traveled. LOL, again they ask me about those, I got issues with money topics I think.

Men: Oh Which one? (more exciting, lol) Then they even give me two options, is it A company or B Company?

I don't know how to change this conversation then? Please give me more details on how exactly I can change this topic or deal with it without giving info.?
I would say, "That's a secret" [then say Sssssshhhhhhh! With my finger on my lips or do a pretend zipper motion on my lips]. "What's your favorite car and why?"

Always turn the tables on him and ask him a question that he has to think about (not a yes-no question). Keep him talking with more questions.

That's awesome, Wondergirl, I like that!

I think the best things you can do are first, try to go to meet people in places where you are likely to meet men who match or better your own accomplishments so there is not such a disparity or negative about you, but rather becomes something you have in common.

Also, talk about them. When they ask, "what brings you to London?" for example, you might say, "I'm an engineer for Audi and am working on a contract here in the city - how about yourself? Were you brought up in this area?" You can disclose information without going on at length about it, which can come off as bragging.

And if there's too much conversation about work, just change the subject, "Now, enough about work - what do you do on your leisure time?"