Hi, I've have a problem. I've been with my partner 9 yrs and, we have 3 children together. We haven't been getting on the past few weeks and, he's told me he is bored with me and, our sex life but, he doesn't make any effort either. We've done all sorts in the bedroom to please him but, it's really getting me down. What can I do to make things better? Please help??

Maybe you have other issues and, you are in a rut, maybe the routine, or the stress of life is the real problem, and you will only find a solution when you sit and, talk calmly about it.

Have there been any major changes, or added stress in your lives lately? He may blame things on sex, but I believe there is another underlying cause to his discontent.

Don't take it so personally though that, you overlook other areas of the relationship, that may be having problems. How old are you both?

Hi we are both 29 ys there's has been a lot ov stress pass 2 yrs he suffers from aniexty and there's certain places he won't go and things he won't do family hoildays etc and I do fing it difficult to adapt to that so yeah we had a lot on I don't understand why he feels like this we have talked and we are always very honest with each other I suppose we are in a rut

Is he in therapy?

Yes he was in private therapy had 13 sessions it really helped him he's a lot better from how he use to be but there's till things he won't do

Have you also received therapy or counseling for how best to deal with his issues?

No not really we've just be given advice on how to deal with things it is hard and I do get frustrated with him but I've stuck by him cause I love him I just understand why he's saying all this and why he's questioning us .

He can't help it. He has mental, and medical issues for real, and you are taking them personally. Don't, as you miss the very real fact he may need adjustments to his meds, or maybe verification he is indeed taking them correctly. Especially if its early in his therapy. These are things for his therapist, and doctors to know so they can deal with, and if you are distracted by frustration, you miss these things.

Its entirely possible you have to be better informed or, need support in understanding what you are dealing with, and how to deal with it. Don't be shy, ask the professionals questions, and talk to your own doctor about your frustrations.

All this is assuming he takes meds for his condition. I don't know what he has been diagnosed with.