Well I'm 22 and she's getting ready to turn 21. We have only been together about a year and a half. We were so close, that she would call me future husband and her family had started referring to me as her husband or a brother in law.

Well about 3 months ago I got a new job that put me on 3rd shift. At the time we were living together,along with 2 roommates, but after about 2 weeks at this new job she decided to move back in with her dad. She said that with our schedules that she wanted to move out because there is not too much to do without me there.

Then I noticed that she was hanging out with friends more calling less and the sex was less frequent. Eventually we had an argument because she tried to get me up at noon to go to her moms and I snapped at her a little. When I woke up she said that we need to talk and that she needed some time and that she doesn't know if she loves me like she used to.

After a couple days of that I wrote her a love/ apology note and she took me back, only to act weird and ask for the same thing a week later. Now were both in the army reserves and she had to go away for two one week stints. I told her that I wouldn't contact her or anything for the two weeks and we discussed the problems. Not 20 minutes down the road she calls me and says she's sorry and is ready to spend her life with me.

So we were good and seemed happy, everything wasn't normal but good, and then at the end of her second week I go with her to her moms after working 8 hours 11pm to 7 am, and she's acting weird. So we have a discussion and she says things like I don't know if I'm ready to settle down, and I will always love you but I don't feel like I love you as much as I did. And she proposed a break, saying that maybe she just needs to miss me, because she's afraid to break up with me because she's afraid it's a phase and she thinks she will be kicking herself for it a month down the road.

So I reluctantly agreed and I'm just so confused. Not a month and a half ago she wanted to marry me and have my kids and now she wants to have fun. Right now I'm giving her some space and not calling her but its tearing me up inside. I need help or advise or some support. I feel like she still loves me but she's turning 21 and I'm on a back burner.

Quote by Zero, from another post,
I don't know why people like you have put good guys like him down when he bears his heart and soul trying to answers so he can have the one person in his life that makes him the happiest back. I don't know if you ever experienced true love but sometimes you have to take, you don't like it and you feel bad but you have no choice.am1981 I feel for you I'm experiencing a very similar situation and I know what its like to have to rely on someone you love finacially. I also know what its like to support the same person when there down on luck. Don't let this jerk get you down I guesse we both have to wait and hope that absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Good luck and take care of yourself no matter what.

To you both, Zero, and AM1981, I don't think being a good guy is a great thing if you can't be good to yourself, after you get dumped especially, for whatever reason.

Its never about what you are going through, but how you handle it. So still putting a partner that dumped you before yourself, is crazy. That's being stuck on someone that's no longer stuck on you, and requires one helluva adjustment to make. Take some responsibility for your own happiness, and stop depending on others to make you happy.

Sorry you think its harsh, Zero, but you need to stand on your own, to get some dignity, and self respect, to have the confidence to move forward, and not back. I know its hard, been there done that many times, and can tell you that how you handle yourself now, through adversity, will set the tone for how you handle whatever life throws at you, in the future.

Now you can get off your pity pot now, and get busy with building a life that you enjoy with out the ex in your life, or keep crying for yesterday to come back. Its your choice, so make a good one.


Quote by zero, advice to another poster,
Good luck and take care of yourself no matter what

That was good advice, especially the "no matter what.".

__________________

Well thanks for the input

I think a lot of red flags are appearing. The first was her moving out and then her telling her that she was not in love with you as much as she used to be. That is a clear indication of her trying to put distance between you. She may have realized after she moved in that things were progressing too quickly and in your early twenties, they probably were and you both may have regretted making such a big life decision so early even if you did initially feel that way. Another flag is that she says she may beed to go away to miss you. Although true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, she may be right, it may also make her and you realize that you were immature and have a lot of life to live before settling down. Have either of you been around kids for an extended period and bben able to tolerate it? LOL Just saying - at my age of 36 I have none and a few hours of young kids can grate on my nerves -lol. Anyway, just put some thought into what you do before you do it. Live your life before you "settle down". You still, and I know you do not realize it now, have a lot of growing up to do so give yourself time to do so and sometimes,"The one you love at age 20 may not be the one you love at age 35." Just another little thing to think about. Good luck to you :-)