I don't usually do things like this. 99% of problems I have I don't go to other people and ask for advice, because I usually can solve them myself. But with this, I find it harder and harder to do that. Nothing I do works. I don't want to go to people close to me because they don't know most of the story, and I don't feel like explaining it to them. Someone told me about the site, and I figured why not.

Short story, we broke up. I'm 21 now, she's 20. We dated my senior year in high school, she was a junior, so this wasn't a "13 year old dating a 15 year old thing", like I seem to see a lot of on the internet. Before we dated, we were best friends for over a year, which is probably why it clicked so well. In complete honesty, it was my fault it ended. Things I did forced it to end, because I was young. I was a senior in high school, with college around the corner and I had one thing on my mind. I didn't cheat on her, but I flirted with other girls in front of her. To avoid an 8 paragraph essay, that's why it ended.

I find myself, almost 3 years later, still in love with her. I've talked to her every now and then over the internet. I seen her best friend, told her that I know all the things I denied were my fault, actually were my fault. I told her to tell my ex I was sorry. We started talking with that. The problem was she had a boyfriend for the past 3 years. I talked to her on the internet but I refused to go into depth. I apologized, I took responsibility, saying I was dumb, young, and foolish. I had no idea why I had. Pretty much what I tell myself every night. I told myself I can't tell her I love her while she has a boyfriend. I don't want to put her in that situation, and she seemed happy. I can also tell, as well as some of my closest friends that read the back and forth messages, she still has some feelings. But for me, it's the first time I felt that I'd rather be miserable if it meant she was happy.

In short, I still love her. I think about her everyday, and refuse to let her go. I don't want to. She was my first love, and I had nothing to compare our relationship to. Now that I've been in several after, I always think back to ours, and say to myself how nothing compares. How whatever relationship I was in at the time, wasn't anywhere near what we had. She was my first real girlfriend, and I just assumed every relationship went that smoothly. Now that she's single, I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to tell her in case she doesn't feel the same. I think she does from her saying, while she had a boyfriend, that she missed me, that she every now and then thinks about what if with us. But daydreaming that one day we may try us again is what gets me through some days lol. I'm at a crossroad and have no idea which way to take. Any helpful advice would be great. Even if its minuscule. Thanks.

You can stay in no mans land and never know or you can take the bull by the horns and tell her. At least then you will know one way or another, the result will be you both get another chance or you finally move on.

A word of warning though, if she is recently out of a relationship she needs time to heal and get back on track, and she needs to do that without you in her head.

You have never healed, but fed your own feelings over 3 years by staying in contact, and preventing any perspective. Had you left her alone to build your own life, I doubt you would still be in love.

You have no choice but to be honest, and go through whatever you must to get you out of this confusion, and on a proper track.

In short, talk to her. She may feel the same, she may NOT! Only one way to find out though, so hope for the best, BUT prepare for the worst.

You're probably right. My friends all tell me I should say something. But issue is she is coming out of a 3 year relationship. She may want to go out and have fun, not worry about any tie downs or crap like that, regardless if it's an actual relationship or not. We're both in college and she hasn't been able to experience it yet. I have. IF I were to say something, I'd want it to be the perfect timing, instead of a rushed effort just because I can. In all honesty, however, she's always been the one to make contact with me first. The first time may have been my fault, telling her friend to tell her I was sorry for all the BS, and she talked to me shortly after. After that, however, it has been random "Hey"'s etc from her. Another reason I thought she may have SOME feeling still, but again not something I wanted to assume or rush into. I will definitely take your advice into effect, I'm just not sure when.