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View Full Version : My fiancˇe tells me its over but I'm not so sure its what she really wants


Andyb1266
Jun 20, 2011, 09:07 AM
I have been with my partner for nearly 8 years we also have 4 year old son! Everything has been great until September last year! She told me she wasn't happy and she was going back to live with her mum! We spoke for a few days later and we agreed to give her time to think. We got back together beginning of November (not living together) and I promised her I would move to the village where her family live. She told me being away from her family made her unhappy! We were then very happy and talking about wedding dated the following year! We were waiting for a suitable house to come up in the village... then completely out of the blue she finished with me again early December! All she said was its not my fault its her... just not happy and doesn't want to be with me! Same thing happened just wanted time and space... we got back together few days before christmas! Since then we have found a house just waiting for it to be built... completion end of July! So everything has been great the last few months, buying nice things for house and even trying for another baby! We went on a family holiday, that was great! We haven't been living together since September! She's at her mums and I've been living with my family! Our new house has been taking a lot longer than expected! And I know she's stressed living with her mum and our son plays up a lot for her to! Also I don't think she's happy at work! Anyway she split with me again s few days ago! Im confused cause I don't understand how her feelings can change so dramaticly so quickly? She did say again she just wanted time... I said I can't give her time this time! We agreed that that's the end! Its not what I want! I don't think its what she wants! I love her so much and need advice... and maybe what could be going through her head! I did say give it 2months living together to see if we can be happy, but she declined!

amicon
Jun 20, 2011, 09:54 AM
Whatever the issues are she clearly isn't happy,so unless she's willing to sit down and try to solve the problems she feels she has with your relationship,you're going to have to let it go.

Look into making arrangements for how to best sort this out for your child and start planning for your own life.

I wish
Jun 20, 2011, 11:53 AM
The stresses of living at home, her work and raising a child may have gotten to her. During tough times, couples lean on each other for strength. Sounds to me that you've become a burden that she can get rid of by breaking up with you. I'm not sure when she's going to come back to you, but it sounds like she's been going back to you when it's convenient, because she knows that you'll be waiting around for her anyway.

What problems do you two deal with when you are together? Is she not able to draw strength from her relationship with you. Before you worry about her, I suggest that you take care of yourself and reflect on what has happened.

Even if you get back together, things will probably blow up again if you don't fix the problems that break you up in the first several times. Now's the time to work on yourself.

Andyb1266
Jun 20, 2011, 12:09 PM
I thought maybe its because I'm not around as much to help her! I just see her two days a week! I just think things will be better when were living together again! When we were together we are very happy... we go out and do things together with our son! Just confusing!