Arthur.C
Jun 15, 2011, 09:44 PM
So I usually don't do this but this time I'm really clueless as to what I need to do. Basically.. I like this girl I met at school but she has a boyfriend. When I first started talking to her, boy did we talk. Sometimes hours on end. During winter break we would always Skype for hours and talk about anything and everything. We're pretty similar and we instantly clicked the moment we started getting to know each other.
During some of these conversations we'd talk about relationships and what not and she'd complain about her boyfriend sometimes, whereas I would tell her about how I'd treat a girl if I were to find one to be with me. She instantly melted at the thought of what I'd do for a girl, and she'd let me know that too. I knew her better than her boyfriend did and I knew it too.
Now I wanted to let her know that I liked her for quite some time but there are several factors that have been stopping me from doing so.
1. We were such close friends when we were at school and so comfortable with each other that if she didn't like me back, I don't know if our friendship would ever be the same.
Example: We'd stay up all night doing random stuff like recording us singing together, going around stealing signs (Shh. Don't tell anyone. :P) until the break of dawn, getting sucked in and playing Angry Birds all night (It's addicting. Admit it. You love it too.) or just plain old having a good conversation.
I've never had that kind of a platonic relationship with anyone ever before. If anything, I don't want to lose that afterwards.
2. This was probably the deal breaker. During the period when she was complaining to me about her boyfriend trouble, how she was his first girlfriend (Ladies, you know what first relationships are like. Classic situation right here with him.) and all of the troubles that arose with it, I being the idiotic, oblivious, and way-too-moral-driven guy that I am, I decided to help her with her relationship problem instead of telling her how I felt and letting her know that I could treat her the way she should be treated.
(Yes yes. Let the berating, laughing and face-palming begin. Such is my curse.)
As the school year progressed I slowly started to hear news from her that her boyfriend had been getting better relationship-wise and I could tell that the relationship was slowly strengthening. What did I do? Nothing. Like the idiot I am. Sure. I felt good that I helped her fix her relationship, but on the other hand I was beating myself to a pulp as I slowly was being eaten away at the fact that my dream girl is with another guy who probably doesn't even love her as much as I do and certainly not as much as she deserves.
So what I need help from you guys is not so much how do I be a metaphorical home-wrecker, they're not married with kids or anything, but more so how can I tell her that I like her without losing that comfortable and close friendship that we've always had. That's really the only thing I don't want to lose with her, because otherwise I would've gone balls to the wall and told her way ahead of time knowing full well that I might lose her as a friend.
Thanks for any help guys. I know that was a long read but I whole-heartedly appreciate it.
During some of these conversations we'd talk about relationships and what not and she'd complain about her boyfriend sometimes, whereas I would tell her about how I'd treat a girl if I were to find one to be with me. She instantly melted at the thought of what I'd do for a girl, and she'd let me know that too. I knew her better than her boyfriend did and I knew it too.
Now I wanted to let her know that I liked her for quite some time but there are several factors that have been stopping me from doing so.
1. We were such close friends when we were at school and so comfortable with each other that if she didn't like me back, I don't know if our friendship would ever be the same.
Example: We'd stay up all night doing random stuff like recording us singing together, going around stealing signs (Shh. Don't tell anyone. :P) until the break of dawn, getting sucked in and playing Angry Birds all night (It's addicting. Admit it. You love it too.) or just plain old having a good conversation.
I've never had that kind of a platonic relationship with anyone ever before. If anything, I don't want to lose that afterwards.
2. This was probably the deal breaker. During the period when she was complaining to me about her boyfriend trouble, how she was his first girlfriend (Ladies, you know what first relationships are like. Classic situation right here with him.) and all of the troubles that arose with it, I being the idiotic, oblivious, and way-too-moral-driven guy that I am, I decided to help her with her relationship problem instead of telling her how I felt and letting her know that I could treat her the way she should be treated.
(Yes yes. Let the berating, laughing and face-palming begin. Such is my curse.)
As the school year progressed I slowly started to hear news from her that her boyfriend had been getting better relationship-wise and I could tell that the relationship was slowly strengthening. What did I do? Nothing. Like the idiot I am. Sure. I felt good that I helped her fix her relationship, but on the other hand I was beating myself to a pulp as I slowly was being eaten away at the fact that my dream girl is with another guy who probably doesn't even love her as much as I do and certainly not as much as she deserves.
So what I need help from you guys is not so much how do I be a metaphorical home-wrecker, they're not married with kids or anything, but more so how can I tell her that I like her without losing that comfortable and close friendship that we've always had. That's really the only thing I don't want to lose with her, because otherwise I would've gone balls to the wall and told her way ahead of time knowing full well that I might lose her as a friend.
Thanks for any help guys. I know that was a long read but I whole-heartedly appreciate it.