Im 18, and never dated really, so if my friends at college ever ask me should I make one up? I feel like I'll be judged or looked at as weird if I don't, so should I just lie?

If you lie, one day or the other it will come out to the open, and you will be embarrassed.
Cos, your friends might be asking more and more about the guy you dated, and one or the other instance, you can't cover it up anymore. And there is nothing weird in not dating anyone till 18. Be proud of whom you are. Do not lie, it is unnecessary here.

I know but I'll be a sophomore, and its kind of embarrassing because everybody's hooking up left and right, and I am more old fashioned and actually want romance. I just think they will think there's something wrong with me if I don't have one.

What you are going through, is called as the group pressure. I ll tell you something which happened. All of my friends drink and smoke. I kind of look like a fool among them, because I don't drink and smoke. So out of group pressure, I pretended that I used to smoke but quit. So, the story went on and on and I could not cover up my lies, but end up smoking now. I have made it a point that I won't drink, but my lies ended up in smoking.
The point is, just because everybody is doing, and it is a group pressure, you don't really have to do something which you don't like to. You would be a perfect girl for your future boyfriend. And there is someone waiting for you, who might find it intersting that you have not dated anyone before. Does not matter what others think, you would want to romance with a person who likes you for who you are, not a fake person.

I would just tell them that you've never dated anyone seriously.

That pretty much covers it, because you haven't.

Why lie?

We're all different and you're allowed to live your life the way

You want to.

What kind of friends do you have that you feel you have to lie to them about anything? What kind of friends do you think liars make?

If you lie, wouldn't you be worse than the creepy guys you keep rejecting?

Don't lie tell them the truth. You want Romance and so far all the BOYS you have met aren't interested in that. When you meet a MAN who is then you will date him. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

Thanks for the personal story. I understand, its just that others are so ahead of me.

True but what if they go further into it? I mean I get that I just haven't found my guy, but I feel like everybody else just folds to the group pressure

Thank you, I agree. I just hope I won't be looked at as 'lame' or something because of it.

Well, I didn't think they would until one day they were talking about something... below the belt.. (lady like term) and I told them I don't do that and they responded with "Your so innocent/cute!" "we're going to corrupt you" but they were more shocked seriously, they couldn't believe it. I felt judged. So I don't want that to happen again.

I feel so out of place in my generation. My idea of romance is completely 'old-fashioned' and today my age group doesn't even date, they just don't. Its horrible. I hate it. It seriously sucks that being a good girl doesn't get you a happy ending.

Lovely33 Jun 14, 2011 07:37 pm
I understand, its just that others are so ahead of me.
It feels like, the majority side of yours wants to say that you had a past boyfriend because you don't want to look lame in front of the gang.
Nobody has the right to judge you, except for yourself. I suggest, you should think and do what you feel is right.

Maybe you take their comments and reactions to personally, and to seriously, because it doesn't matter what they do or think about YOU. All that matters is how you handle yourself.

In short, don't let their action make you into a liar, just to fit in.

Be yourself, love yourself, and enjoy yourself the way you are, and stick to your own way of doing things, and just observe the way others do there own thing.

Maybe your way is good for you, and their way is good for them. Its called PEER pressure, and many give in to it to fit into a group, and many times leads to things you may not be ready for, or really want to do. Like drinking, smoking, and having sex, just to name a few things, and lying high on that list also.

Keep standing for yourself, and what YOU believe in, or you will fall for anything. There is NO SHAME in being DIFFERENT, or UNIQUE, among your peers, because the very ones you will push you to change to be like them, are secretly wishing they could be like you. You will meet many who bring themselves up, by putting you down. It always backfires for THEM.

No matter what, be proud of who you are, and the way you do things, even if others are NOT!

Thank you! I hope your right.

Basically, I've known this guy for 4 years of my life. We are really good friends, and I would consider him my best guy friend (I don't have a TON of good ones). When we first met, my friend liked him and I set them up it worked for a couple months then she ended it to date this other guy. So, somehow me and him still talk, and me and the girl aren't friends anymore (we had a falling out later on).

However, every time me and him talk I get accused of liking him, or vice versa. I believe that guys and girls can be just friends. However, society thinks differently. Now, because I have heard it so many times, I keep thinking what if he was more than a friend? He's not really my type, and I am not attracted to him like that-at least I don't think. Plus he dated a friend-who after dating him got around quite a lot. I just want to know if what I am thinking is because I've heard it so many times or is it possible I like him? I honestly don't know. Thanks.

I believe it is not love. It is pure friendship. But you can be good partners in life. Can't deny that fact.
How about asking him, how does he feel when people accuse him that you are like his girlfriend?

I have no idea, I've never asked. I don't think I could. Especially because how does one bring up that topic slyly? Haha. I just wish I knew. Maybe I'm just grasping at straws.

Haha. Slowly. May be like tell him, the other day someone accused you like that. Ask him if he has encountered such a situation. What say? When you are in love with him, you will definitely know.

Keep the friendship up and see where things go. Why rush into anything?

Good Luck,
Javi

I might actually try that. Thank you =)

True, but it has been 4 years. I'm definitely not going to rush though.

Why mess up a friendship with false hope, and curiosity, started by a few comments?


He's not really my type, and I am not attracted to him like that-at least I don't think. Plus he dated a friend-who after dating him got around quite a lot. I just want to know if what I am thinking is because I've heard it so many times or is it possible I like him? I honestly don't know. Thanks.

Do nothing right now but, be friends. Trust me, when you entertain ideas because friends keep suggesting it, be aware it was their idea, and not yours. You don't act on the ideas of others without a lot of honest evaluation, and diligent INVESTIGATION, of your own feelings.