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View Full Version : Am I an old maid in the making?


edrea
Jun 10, 2011, 03:36 AM
I had an 8-year relationship which ended about 2 year ago. He was kind and responsible. On the downside, he was insecure and a bit slow/boring. He was also a childhood classmate. The reason we separated was that he repeatedly cheated on me. I tried asking him back but he wouldn't. I remember I asked him once why, and he replied: I've told you to lose weight... At that point, I went ballistic.

I am 29, 5ft 1inch tall, and weighs close to 130 pounds. This may be hard to understand but I am in an Asian country where I am considered chubby or fat. People always comment on my weight. Sometimes when I look at my pictures, I feel I would look better had I been 10 to 15 pounds lighter. But generally, I am happy with the way I am. I have well-meaning family members and friends who tell me to lose weight so I can have a boyfriend. Since we separated, there has been no one who courted me or took an interest in me.

I enjoy being single and I keep myself busy/productive. But sometimes I do miss having a boyfriend. All the guys where I live seem to have turned gay! My only single guy colleague is gay. I once tried dating sites, but no one would message me even if I tried contacting some guys who seem OK. I ask friends to set me up with their friends, but no one has done so. Sometimes I joke that I am considering moving to another country because I might end up an old maid here. People just tell me to pray about it. But I do!

adviceishere
Jun 10, 2011, 03:49 AM
I truly admire you! You don't let anyone get you down and you certainly don't let stupid people tell you your something that your not. You are happy being you no matter what people say.

Do I think you're an old maid in the making? Hell no! Some lucky guy is going to sweep you off your feet, you just makesure you keep being true to yourself and don't let anyone bring you down.

I wish I could say when, but just by reading your post, you seem like a confident, intelligent young woman and someone WILL see that too.

Maybe you could widen your social circle? Join some clubs or groups and meet more people, you can never have enough friends and through friends you will meet other friends, maybe even a man? Go travelling, the world is at your feet, have fun and it will happen when you least expect it too.

edrea
Jun 10, 2011, 04:23 AM
Thank you for your advice. When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I joined a church group and gained friends. But it seems that girls have greatly outnumbered the guys and we are practically all in the same predicament.

I would love to travel some more if visas weren't so much of a hassle to get. I remember I applied for a visa to vacation to this country and I was asked by the consul if I have family (husband? Child?). I said I am single, and was automatically denied.

adviceishere
Jun 10, 2011, 04:30 AM
Wow that's pretty unfair! Well there all lots of other things you can do to broaden your horizons, you just need to search, find a new hobby, maybe find a new career if you haven't already got one, go to college, do a course. There are lots of things, you are only 29!!

You don't necessary need to leave the country to travel, you could plan a road trip around your country with some friends, explore new places to "hang out", just get out and enjoy yourself :)