I'm 12 and I live in Missouri. I was wondering what age I have to be to choose what parent I live with here. And don't start saying crap about how you can't choose, because my cousin in New York did, and he is like 14 or 15.

You cousin may have gotten to choose, but every state has their own laws. The laws in New York may be different than the laws in Missouri.

Typically though, the court doesn't exactly let you decide, but they listen to where you want to live and decide if that is the best place for you.

Your cousin may have been able to "choose" because the judge in that particular court ALLOWED him to express his preference and then followed that preference.

LEGALLY--a COURT chooses for you.

YOU get choose when you're 18.

How nice that at 12 yrs old you don't want "crap" from us. What a nice opening to ask for help.

A little crap from me:

Missouri Child Custody Guidelines:
If the parents can't reach a mutual agreement concerning custody of the children, the court shall determine custody based on the best interests of the child, considering all relevant factors including:

The wishes of the parents concerning custody and the proposed parenting plan submitted by both parties;
The needs of the child for a frequent, continuing and meaningful relationship with both parents and the ability and willingness of parents to actively involved in meeting the needs of the child;
The relationship of the child with parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interests;
Which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent, continuing and meaningful contact with the other parent;
The adjustment of the child to the child's home, school, and community;
The mental and physical health of all individuals involved, including any history of abuse of any individuals involved;
The intention of either parent to relocate the principal residence of the child; and
The wishes of a child as to the child's custodial parent.

When determining custody, there shall be no preference given to either parent in the awarding of custody because of that parent's age, sex, or financial status, nor because of the age or sex of the child. [Based on Missouri Revised Statutes, Sections 452.375]

Then your wish is one out of eight factors which have to be considered.

I hope this sh-it will help you to understand how the system works

A little crap from me:

Missouri Child Custody Guidelines:
If the parents can't reach a mutual agreement concerning custody of the children, the court shall determine custody based on the best interests of the child, considering all relevant factors including:

The wishes of the parents concerning custody and the proposed parenting plan submitted by both parties;
The needs of the child for a frequent, continuing and meaningful relationship with both parents and the ability and willingness of parents to actively involved in meeting the needs of the child;
The relationship of the child with parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interests;
Which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent, continuing and meaningful contact with the other parent;
The adjustment of the child to the child's home, school, and community;
The mental and physical health of all individuals involved, including any history of abuse of any individuals involved;
The intention of either parent to relocate the principal residence of the child; and
The wishes of a child as to the child's custodial parent.

When determining custody, there shall be no preference given to either parent in the awarding of custody because of that parent's age, sex, or financial status, nor because of the age or sex of the child. [Based on Missouri Revised Statutes, Sections 452.375]

Then your wish is one out of eight factors which have to be considered.

I hope this sh-it will help you to understand how the system works

Too bad a 12 year old won't understand that. :(

I'll join my commrade "GV" and post a little more crap.

Your cousin is not telling you the truth about custody in NY. He did NOT make the decision where he wanted to live. That, in fact, would be contrary to NYS law. Maybe he wanted to live with one parent (or the other) and maybe the Court decided that was the best place for him but he did NOT make the decision. The Court does NOT have to respect the wishes of anyone under the age of majority (which means, anyone who is not an adult).

You have already posted that your mother took you and left the State for the year and, when she returned, she was "stripped" of custody and custody was awarded to your father.

My crappy answer is - your mother lost custody once. Do you think the Court is going to give it to her again and watch her disappear - again? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/leave-state-child-576223.html

- I work in the legal system in NY.

And a little more >>>

First most likely with a attitude like that and a mouth like that on a public site, it may be that neither parent wants him.

But at 12 in MO you can testify in court as to where you want to live, If you do not wish to live with the current parent that has custody, the non custody parent can file in court for custody, allow you to testify, but the current custodial parent may also present other evidence as to why this would not be a good idea.