Sorry this is going to be long. But I really need help. Please. And thanks. ;(

My boyfriend and I met in June 2010, and had feelings for each other. He went back to another country to continue his studies. We text everyday.

Things went on pretty steadily until August, two days before he came back, I went clubbing with a bunch of my friends after a lot of pestering. It was my first time going clubbing. I refused to drink at first but gave in in the end after my friends kept forcing me. After drinking a bit, under the influence of alcohol, I became unaware that I continued on drinking. In total, I drank about 3 small bottles of beer. There were 3 boys, and 5 girls including me. My friends and I went to the dancefloor and I was never exposed to stuffs like these, therefore I just stuck with another girl friend and had our hands on each others' shoulders and swing around. We were never left alone, not even for one second. We didn't interact with any strangers. We went there merely for exposure's sake. After that, we went out of the club and I tripped and fell down. Therefore, two boy friends who had more strength had my arms over their shoulders and supported me up. To stand straight and to make sure I am standing already. Then, a boy friend of ours took out the camera & started talking pictures. Coincidences do happen, earlier on, he took a picture of me which looked like I was enjoying myself, dancing; and a picture of that two boy friends holding onto me. For both incidents which happened merely for seconds. Just my luck. He then posted it on his blog and my boyfriend saw it. My boyfriend was very disturbed & bothered by that fact but he kept it to himself. I was from a Christian family and I've never allowed physical contact with any other guys. Nothing happened that night. I did not do anything which I shouldn't. Besides going clubbing & consuming alcohol. (I admit fault for two of this. I terribly regretted.) I've sought my parents' permission before going clubbing & they allowed, for exposure's sake. They trust that I won't be like other girls out there who allow physical intimacy with guys. After this incident, in December, he asked me to be his girlfriend & of course, I agreed. Since we have already been going on steady for half a year. He's considered my first boyfriend. He's the first person I've cuddled with, kiss, and made love with. (Although it wasn't his first. Before he met me, he had 6 exs before and lost his first kiss & made out with them before. One of them, to the extend that the girl had rubbed against his private part before.) However we lost our virginity to each other.

Another incident was that, two weeks after we got together, we went to a resort with a bunch of friends and there was this guy who can't stop talking. It was in my nature to care for every single person. So, every time that guy talked to me, I just responded. That guy was more or less an attention seeker(I think?). He kept sitting on the floor when more than 10 of us(mixture of girls and boys) were on the bed. I thought the floor was dirty so I kept asking him to go on the bed. At that time, I was on the bed, cuddling with my boyfriend. (He feels neglected but he didn't let me know. And I didn't notice too. I was considered never a girlfriend to anyone that's why I didn't know how to consider their feelings so much.) That same night, my boyfriend & I took another room connected to our friends' room & we made out in there on the bed. Our first making out session. My first. The following morning, I went over to the friends' room and saw that attention seeker guy sleeping on the floor because there were nowhere for him to sleep. Thus, I asked him to join me & my boyfriend in the other room. Boyfriend was still sleeping so I didn't move him, just slept in the middle. After a while, the guy was hungry and asked me to go for breakfast with him. I thought we could have a quick one and be back before boyfie's awake. Before leaving, I text boyfie and told him where I'm going, with who, and I'll be back shortly. Apparently I was a lousy girlfriend who didn't know how to consider his feelings. I didn't think he'd feel that bad about it.

This two incidents, he could never forget them. He holds them against me since then until today. The clubbing incident disturbs him all the time as he feels that other guys must have touched me before during that night. But in fact, nobody did. I've explained to him what exactly happened that night but he still gets disturbed like once in two-three days.

Another thing is that, my mum is someone who doesn't mind exposing her cleavage when dressing. Naturally, I was brought up to be like her. Although I never deliberately expose, occasionally a little bit of my cleavage would appear. He never told me that he dislikes it until we were together for a few months. If he told me, I would have been cautious & alert and ensure I don't expose anything. I used to have a Facebook profile picture which was cleavage-exposing and that time, he commented gorgeous on it. But now, he told me that he was actually disturbed & bothered. He keeps getting disturbed by the fact that other guys have seen it. Since he told me, I was alert & cautious in the sense of dressing already.

Tell me what should I do. The clubbing incident is the main concern. He gets disturbed over it everyday. I can tell that he loves me a lot & doesn't want to lose me. But he just gets disturbed all the time. I really don't know what else can I do. I don't want to lose him. Honestly, I've made love with him and as a Christian, virginity matters a lot to me. To me, he's already the only person I want to marry. If we parted up, I wouldn't get a boyfriend anymore. I really don't know what else can I do. I love him a lot. Both our parents are supportive of our relationship. Next year, I'll be going over to where he is to pursue tertiary education. But if he still gets disturbed, it'd really be hell for me. Maybe we should part up? I don't know. I'm helpless. I don't want to lose him no matter what.

Please give me advises.

Thanks!

I read the long story from the external link. Thanks for making it elaborate. Not judging anyone, but from what you say, this is what I can think of your boyfriend. Guess you can't compare him with anyone when it comes to taking care of you. He must be really sweet in that. But the problem here is, he thinks only about himself when he gets hurt, and doesn't try to see the reality. But this can be solved with some talking. Bet it will take some long talking, involving everything from the past. Let him know how much it hurts when he doubts you like that. Ask him not to keep things in mind and carry forward, which is a very very bad habit with some boys. Put a rule that problems should be solved by talking whenever stuff happen, and should never be carried forward. If this doesn't work, then you would have to go forth with stern measures, which I would let you know if required. Wish you good luck.

Oh, by the way, going over there at this situation when things are not clear is not a wise idea.

Hi BK201,
Thanks so much for for you read the long story. Appreciate that. I've been reassuring him all the time constantly and I've been repeating the same things over and over again. However he just said the he feels, disgusted. He said that the skimpy picture is unacceptable because I look wasted, drunk, and don't even know about what's happening. And he's like, "you're a girl, why can't you care about your reputation? Even if you can't, do care about mine alright?" and he said, "probably i don't deserve you. i don't love you enough, in return for your love you have for me. i'm not saying that i want to leave. but if you want me to, i'm happy to do so, since, i was never good enough for you.. let me know if you want me to do so alright? love you."
I really don't know what else can I do. It's been haunting us for more than half a year. This is totally tormenting. I won't mind if the condition is gradually improving, but it isn't. It seems like he choose to brood over the past.

I bet you would want this relation to work out, so I'm saying this. Else I would say you deserve someone much better. What sign he is showing now is, I want to move on. But he wants it to happen from your end. He doesn't want to it to get initiated from his end.
1. Did you offer him that you would delete those pics and you would listen to what he says?
2. How old are you both? Engagement and marriage is a good solution here because these kind of men are bound to responsibilities and would like to look good in soceity's eyes.

We're both only 17. But our parents have met each other and we have went for family vacations together. We are planning to get engaged already. I don't know what does he want. I stopped replying but he kept calling and texting and asked if I'm all right and said that he loves me and what not. I strongly believe that he does love me a lot a lot but this incident just haunts him too badly. But point is I really hadn't do anything which had betray him. We've made love with each other, lost our virginity to each other. He too had a past which was much worse before he met me but he just kept banging on the point that clubbing incident was after we had something on. But I really didn't cheat on him or betray him. I feel that I'm out of ways to save this relationship. There'll always be stg between us. I'm really helpless. However, if I broke up with him I won't get another boyfriend another as we've made love. I'd be "contaminated" - if we broke up. I can't accept making love with two persons. So I just want this relationship to work out. I don't know what can I do. Ignore him for a few days to think about it? I don't know.. This isn't any puppy love thing we're both really really serious. He just can't bear to think of the "filthy" picture.

Ignore him for a few days will not do any good. If you stop talking to him, he will come back to you and he will even beg to have you back. Once you go back, he will go back to the haunting thing.
Making this relationship work would need some sacrifice from your end.
You have to tell him that you would do anything for him (not just to make this relation work because you have slept together). Then tell him you need an answer because you can't keep on going like this. If he is not ready or clear in the answer, then tell him u are going to stop talking to him and stop. He will come back to you doubling up. Get the answer then. He sure will answer. He won't let you go. Making this relationship would definitely need some sacrifice like giving up you freedom a little bit, guess he might even ask you to stop talking to your friends. At what age are you planning to get engaged?

He knows it well that I'd do everything and anything for him. I've stopped talking to guy friends & even most girl friends. What I do everyday now is basically, going to school, come home, go on skype and do my work in front of skype, and go for tuition when I need to. I don't even hang out/go out often now. What else could I do... :(
He bought me tickets to go over in a week's time and we've planned to buy our own engagement rings then. Maybe about 300$ for one & engrave on it. He's acting okay now. Being real sweet and stuffs again. I really don't know what does he want. After buying it, we'll just put it on already as we're mentally married in a way. It's just the age which is stopping us. We've planned to have the actual engagement done once we're done with uni, and then go back to our hometown & work and get married a few years later.

But honestly, I wouldn't be able to take it if he condemns me with this every two-three days. Things are always okay when we're physically together but now that we're in a LDR, I dare not risk because we're too far away to patch things up after an argument.

I need an answer. But I don't know how could I get it. Or should I wait until I'm already there, then if he brings it up again, I'll leave? I don't know... :(

Mmm yes that's a good one. You should wait until you get there. Leave him a clear message that if he brings it up again you are leaving then and there. A clear message mate. He should know that he is thinking too much, and only about him. Give your best shot in getting the answer. But make sure you get the clear answer, not just a so so answer, then carry on again with the same stuff. Do not go wishywashy if he cries or begs, stern, stubborn. If there is a common friend make him announce the answer in front of the witness, because I'm afraid of something of something else too. Because of the young age. Don't worry, everything is for the good, I bet you have a lot of faith in God. Do your best (which you are doing already, there is not a single point to blame you), and leave the rest to him and God.

Thanks so much. I guess I'll just have to endure with it for the moment before I get there. I don't want him to think about it and get all depressed again. It kills me to see him being disturbed. I actually thought of leaving for his welfare. Thanks so much. If he still brings it up after I get there, I would just leave him & focus on my studies over there. I don't mind staying single for life. God is with me anyway. Thank you, BK201, so much.

You are welcome kleenex123. Good luck, and keep posted in the future if you need any answer. Have a good day

I read the full story - there is a LOT more involved to this than too much to drink and some photographs. You seem conflicted - you say you are Christian (with Christian morals and beliefs - "God is with [you]") but you are 17, drinking (probably illegally) to the point of intoxication and having sex with your boyfriend. If you were as "wasted" as you say I doubt you clearly remember the details of the night which has upset your boyfriend.

He either talks to you about it or he doesn't. You can explain until you literally turn blue. Your ACTIONS from now on will determine the course of your relationship.

He just told me a story about his schoolmates raping girls at parties after the girls are wasted and here's our conversation.

All right dear. Its fine. Dw :)
That's the reason why I'm like so harsh and sensitive on you not going to these sort of places?
Its because I've heard so much and seen so much tahts why I don't want you to end up like those victims.
So innocent.
Yes, your reason might be for exposure... but there might be guys there who aren't there for exposure. They want to get laid. That's their motive. That's why I was so angry when you said you got drunk or wasted or whatever your condition is. You say that no one touched you that night and stuff, OK I trust you. And I know you were there with a bunch of friends, and you were constantly with them, never left them..
But its just... I don't know? Haha. I just don't want to see my own girlfriend ending up like those innocent girls who go there just for leisure or fun. And ended up like that. :)love you. *as I was typing* baby, don't need to type so long. I don't think it'll help much anyway. Its been bugging me for like what, more than half a year already. If it was meant to be forgotten, I'd have forgotten it long ago. :)

Yeap I understand this. That's why I'll never ever go again, trust me on this. I'm sorry for going, truly am. If I knew you didn't want me to go, I wouldn't have gone. I care about what you think, a lot. Since day 1 when you told me that you didn't like me to expose anything(be it intentional or unintentional), I've became really really cautious and alert about it and I've considered like ten times before wearing anything already. And since day 1 when you told me you feel neglected that I text(with girls) when we're together, I've stopped texting her whenever I'm with you. Minor stuffs like that, but these do show that I do care right? I really do care a lot baby. I'm really thankful to God that I have someone who cares so much for me, baby. I just hope you understand that we weren't as close that time and I didn't really know what's on your mind. If only I knew, I'd avoided everything which would make you disturbed, even by a tiny. I don't want that. I was really blunt & insensitive, and as I've told you before, I was never actually in a relationship with somebody and I don't know the correct way to treat my boyfriend right. No doubt they have gave you a number of 30 of guys who they think used to have something on with me. But the truth is, there wasn't. I could tell you the truth that I was merely friends with all of them. They were some of them who were after me but I've made it very clear that we're only friends. Out of the thirty, I wouldn't hide this truth from you, the only two persons who I've liked were A & B. and with the both of them, our communication is only through texting and msn. That's why, I really didn't know how to consider all those elements that I have to care about someone's feeligns and stuffs. All I knew is that I love you a lot a lot a lot but I didn't know a relationship isn't just about love. There were too many elements which I've failed to consider, just because I was unexperienced. I know that doesn't give me an excuse to be insensitive, but I don't know either. I really didn't mean to let you down in any sense, in any where. I'm sorry that I haven't been perfect, but I really have been loving you with my best. And I'm trying to be the perfect one to you. I'm really trying very very hard, baby.

In need of your words again, BK201. :(

Yes Kleenex123, Im here, any updates?

Please give me some time to read it. Thanks

He replied this.

All right dear. Just wished that none of these ever happened. Thought you were smart enough to be sensitive enough to know not to go, because I've told you about my past, and you know how much I regretted it. I thought you'd treat that as a living example, to learn from and not to go to those type of places. Fair enough, you know why I didn't stop you from going? For three reasons: firstly, I thought you were smart enough not to go, as I've mentioned earlier, I thought you were intelligent and rational enough to not go. Secondly, fair enough, you went... I was disapppointed to be honest. When I learnt that you wanted to go. Fair enough, you went.. and I trusted you that you wouldn't drink. You never mentioned to me before that you drink. So, I just accepted the fact that you went and not drink. Don't tell me there was nothing else to drink there. You can choose not to drink. And you told me you were forced to dirnk and forced to go. I won't buy that OK? Part of you, definitely wants to go. If not, you won't willingly follow them there. Besdies, they even stayed at yr house the night after clubbing. So yea. Hospitaliity. And lastly, if you did drink, I thought you'd know your boundaries and everything. I thought you'd know your limits to when to stop drinking. And what's worse is, you exaggerated the drunk-ness. You acted hyper intentionally. I don't see the reason why for. I don't know how and when I'm going to forget about this. Oh by the way, I've seen picts of you and the group at the club on Facebook. Think it was posted by your friend. Not sure if its still around. Just saying. Love you. Sorry that I'm appearing offline because I can't hold back my tears. Sorry that I'm crying now. You say you're hurt whenever I insult you and stuff.. but I'm equally as hurt. Can't hold back my tears any longer. It breaks my heart to see these things done by you..

By the way, sorry for bringing up the things which I heard myself, and get disturbed after that.. sorry. I'm terribly sorry. Its not that I want too as well. When I'm not happy, you're not happy as well. And I don't believe that our relationship is transparent as we say it is.. I'm not doubting. But I believe, some things are made up.. not all. But some. Just to make it sound better.. love you.


I really don't know what else can I do anymore... I didn't reply him...

Thank you so much for being here for me. ;(

I went after seeking permission from mummy & daddy and I drank because friends in a way forced me to drink. And they stayed at my house because parents think that it's only safe if I return home after that. And about the exaggerated drunkness part, I was just under the influence of alcohol and I got hyper that's why I blurted out everything. And even the pictures posted by my friend, there were nothing wrong with them I really didn't have any physical contact with anyone... ;( BK201!! ;( I can't help but to cry I didn't reply him I don't know what to reply... ;(

All right, read this, what are we looking for, in this conversation kleenex123?

Oh sorry, now let me read this, and reply after that.

What do I do now? I don't know what to reply... telling him what I feel will only further agitate him I reckon. I just can't help crying. I want to reply him but I don't know what to. And if I ignore him, would he feel like ending this relationship? No doubt that I've hurt him but it really weren't intentionally and I did not did not cheat on him. What can I do now? Or say now? BK201... ;(((((((

Thanks so much for being here ;(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

I don't know either BK201... ;(((((((
I don't know what can I do now...

Should I just ignore him or explain? But explaining would only make him get angrier...

You have to really assess your OWN behaviour, and take responsibility for what you do, and stick up for yourself when you haven't done anything wrong.

If you're old enough to go clubbing, and have sex, you are old enough to make your own decisions; wear what you want, go where you want to with whatever friends you want to. You call your own shots, not anybody else.

Because of the distance between you and your boyfriend, I can understand his asking about the picture of you and the two guys. But, after you have explained yourself, if he isn't trusting you to tell the truth about it, I would not discuss it any further. If you don't have trust in a relationship, you have nothing.

I don't know why you would do something, and then say you regret it.If you choose to make yourself available to your boyfriend for sex, you can't turn around and reverse the clock and change that decision. To somehow turn sex with your boyfriend into marriage because he was your first, is pretty extreme thinking. It is also extreme and unrealistic to think that you can never have another boyfriend if you dump the current one.

You do not have to stay with someone for all the wrong reasons. Judge the relationship as a whole, it is not only about the sex. The relationship is also not about you convincing anyone that you are a 'good girl', or that nothing happened such as in the picture with the two guys holding you up. That is nonsense for your boyfriend to judge you, as well as him to judge you on how much cleavage you show (which is not the fault of your mother by the way, it is your choice what to wear).

My advice to you is to control your drinking behaviour and not kid yourself that there won't be another time. Think about not being tied to the hip with your boyfriend forever simply because you had sex with him. And assess how much, or how little, you will accept anybody deciding what is right for you, not right for you, and why you feel the need to justify everything you do.

You don't have to accept control from anybody; the only control you need, is over your own decisions and actions.

Moderator's Note: Threads merged

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Also, please understand that this is not a chat room. We are all volunteers here, you will get responses as people come online.

I don't regret making love with him. I just regretted going clubbing..
That was the first time I've consumed alcohol and the first time that I've gone to a club..
I made love with him because we consider ourselves mentally married. It is against the bible to have premarital sex, we do understand that, that's why we've waited until we were both mentally married to each other. Although this may sound unrealistic but it is what we think..

And I'll feel that I'm being "contaminated" if I made love with him, and go up to another guy. I can't do this.

I don't know whether I should ask him for a break off our relationship or continue reasoning with him. He says that our minds always work on different frequencies because we're both stubborn.

I feel so helpless now.

And I feel that I've really hurt him so much. Though not intentionally.

I didn't reply and he sent these...

Baby?
Baby dear?
Don't remain silent please? Talk to me..
If you're angry at me, for the things I've said wrongly.. let me know then? Don't just keep quiet and brood about it on your own.. that's what I'm here for baby..

What do I do now? :S ignore or reply... I feel like a sinner. Although I didn't intentionally hurt him, I did. Killed someone accidentally, I won't be charged for murder, but man slaughter...

Him>baby dear
Are you there?
Baobei, talk to me please?
Don't just ignore me like you always do.. recently..

Me>
I don't want to ignore you too. But I'm just very afraid that if I've replied. It'd make you unhappy & think that I'm being defensive and want to end this relationship.

Him>
You don't feel like talking huh?
If you don't, then its OK dear.. I can always wait..

Me>
I'm just so worried that I'll lose you. So ****ing worried. So worried that I can't even control myself. I don't know what can I do. I don't know what will make you happy.
Every time I ignore you, I just keep crying and do nothing else.

Him> I feel terrible for being disturbed almost everyday.. its not fair for you as well. I'm sure you were a happier girl before I entered your life baby

Me>and I don't want to let you know that I'm crying.
Because I don't want you to be worried about my health & blame yourself for that.
That's why I choose to not reply.

Him> its not like I want to be disturbed as well.. but it just comes subconsciously. Anytime when I hear someone say something related to that tabooed topic, I'd get disturbed already.. that's how simple it is..
I'm like a land mine. Anyone steps on the topic I'm sensitive about, there we go..

Cheer up baby..

Me>
You're everything I need, everything I want. I can't afford to lose you. But I know that my existence in your life isn't making you happy.
I just don't want to face the truth. What's best for you, is to live a life on your own, or with any other girls who have no records which'd make you feel disturbed and stressed out all the time.
I don't know why but I've been having this feeling that you're the one for me. Otherwise God wouldn't have allowed all these wonderful things to happen between us.

Him>
Maybe we've gone against God's principles, that's why He has decided to punish us this way..
I don't know either dear
I don't know what's the best for me too

Reply kleenex123, but don't put the blame on yourself. Whether it was a mistake or not, you have agreed that you won't do things which he doesn't like. So, he has to let go of the past.
Reply him asking what does he wants you to do. It is either this or that, you cannot erase the past like a record note, but you can forget it. He has to decide, what he wants if he wants to dwell in his past let him dwell, but there is no use. Let him know that. If he is not ready to move on, tell him you would have to stop talking to him. After that, if he is sending you anything else in message, ignore it. No matter what. Please do not put the blame on yourself. No. No.
Sorry for the late reply

Don't put weak side to him now. Be strong. You need to be strong.

PLeASE SToP USiNG THE sTUPID cOMMENTS fEATURE!!! Or this thread WILL be closed

Thanks guys, for spending time reading my story and actually putting in efforts to reply & give me advices.
You guys were right. He kept banging on the point saying that I've ruined his trust, in fact, I did not. There weren't any trust to start with.
We've sorted things out. I've told him the truth, that I feel that he was never ever able to trust me since the start.
And I've explained to him my family's upbringing was that we're educated to be really particular about physical contacts since we're Christians.
He was the first person I've had physical contacts with.
I could stand in a crowd of sluts and watch them make out with random guys/their boyfriends and I wouldn't join them.
Because I find it filthy to have physical contact with anyone besides the person whom you're prepared to spend your whole life with.
After tonight's conversation, he finally realized that he hasn't trusted me since the start.
Anyway, I can't blame him. Because he was brought up in a school which claims to be more "westernized", and the students there do boobs-groping & lap-dances everyday.
He feels that all girls are stereotyped to be like that. Besides, his first impression of me was from my so-called best friend, who was materialistic and wanted to have him as her boyfriend because his family is very well-off.
She insulted me and badmouthed me and made up stories which made me sound like a girl, desperate for guys.
Guess all these had not stop us from getting together. It just triggered the trust issue. Regardless, we're getting it right back on track now.
I've told him that if he can't trust me & my personalities, then maybe he should reconsider about our plans of getting our engagement ring.
He said that he'll work on the trust issue. And I've told him to have a flash back about every single expression of mine when he took away my first kiss and what not,
saying that he'll never ever find those reactions on me if it wasn't me first. He understood and he felt extremely guilty.
He asked me to dump him, thinking that he doesn't deserve me.
But I've told him that this realization isn't too late yet. So yeah, things are finally fine now.
After a year of awful torments.

Thanks guys. Appreciated every single comment up there. Especially to BK201! You're one nice person.
Thanks, so much.

Very nice. Welcome Kleenex123. Things are going in the right direction. Give him as much time as he wants, but <b>fix it</b>. Wish you good luck

After all that torment, all it took was some honest communications, and some standing up for yourself. I hope you keep growing and learning as going along with a bad program is not always the best way. Honesty is brutal and hard to hear, but this fellow better get use to it, because no doubt he will slip again into judgmental, intolerant, and controlling selfish behavior, because of his fears about what he sees what goes on in the real world. To put his own fears on you is pretty unacceptable, and he has much to learn himself on how to treat a partner. Be patient, and teach him what you expect from him, and he will learn.

Allow no one to tell you that what you have done, or want to do is wrong. They should know you are a good person and trust you, and without trust, there can be no relationship. Nor would you want one with someone who didn't trust YOU!

Glad you got some understanding with your guy, FINALLY, and if you and BK would use the site properly, you would be in like Flint!

Good luck.

Haha.. my bad talaniman, getting used to this site slowly. Thanks

Threads merged



He used to have a lot of girl friends before getting together with me, and after getting together with me, he started giving them cold treatments on Facebook and stuffs like that. We're in a LDR and I think he does text those girls at times. I'm a very jealous person but I've brought myself to be understanding that those are just his girl friends. So I always act like I'm generous and don't mind him interacting with them through texts.

However he gets disturbed by this fact and wants me to question him a lot. I guess he is just insecure. He says that he feels loved whenever I question him. If I convince myself that I shouldn't mind, I wouldn't mind and wouldn't be disturbed. But if I actually start asking questions, I would mind, truckloads because being jealous is my nature. What should I do? I'm just thinking we should both have our friends back. But he would mind if I text with other guys. So, I've never replied any guy friend's text(pure friendship) since we got together. However he does text the girls occasionally and I find it really unfair? I don't really get the picture here either. This is confusing.

What happened to ''clear lines of communication''-ref your previous post?

First h e questions your past,now you're supposed to question his?

I think the picture here is two insecure people who don't

Communicate and don't listen to each other.

Red flags!

Im telling you why he is behaving like this just because you want this thing to work out. He thinks only about himself, and does not care to think what is going through in your mind. Later this will turn into male chauvinism. If you want to be with him, you will have to sacrifice all your happiness one by one, like your friends, your dressing sense, even your work profile and what not. It is up to you, all I can say is, you are young and you still have a lot and lots to experience in life. If you have an elder sister or a cousin talk to them about this, they will tell you more clearly. 17 is an age to enjoy and be happy.
Think Kleenex.

You sure take a lot of weird crap off this guy without questioning him on it. WHY??

And there is no need to start a different question about the same guy/relationship.

I am also at a loss. I see two people in a very disfunctional relationship with no benefits that I can see. Both are insecure. Nothing breeds insecurity like dating insecurity.

And what happened to the new open lines of communication?