woodendoll
Jun 6, 2011, 12:11 PM
I recently discovered that my boyfriend of 3 years has a six year old son with an older lady. I guess they had agreed to go have an abortion but she lied to him and kept the baby. He does not have contact with them at all, but does pay child support. She now has another daughter by another man and has completely moved on. Yet, she periodically calls my boyfriend (I came to find out) to harrass him about not being in their son's life and has gone above and beyond to tell his family about their situation.
I also got pregnant by my boyfriend (3 months into the relationship) and decided to get an abortion. He really wanted to make things work, and we gave it a shot and have been together ever since. However, I just found out about his 6 yr old son through a 3rd party. I was completely blindsidded and very upset that he withheld that information from me during our relationship.
Although I have been able to control my feelings, I sometimes feel very upset and emotional and do not know what the correct response to this news should be. I know we talked about the situation, and I understand that he was scared of telling me, but I feel betrayed. Also, I wouldn't want to be with him if he is going to ignore his son completely, so I told him I'd support him establishing a relationship with his son. However, I feel like that might be pressuring him to do something he never intended. Altimately, I want him to become a better person. I have no idea the impact this might have on our future.
Am I doing the right thing? I'm so confussed!!
I also got pregnant by my boyfriend (3 months into the relationship) and decided to get an abortion. He really wanted to make things work, and we gave it a shot and have been together ever since. However, I just found out about his 6 yr old son through a 3rd party. I was completely blindsidded and very upset that he withheld that information from me during our relationship.
Although I have been able to control my feelings, I sometimes feel very upset and emotional and do not know what the correct response to this news should be. I know we talked about the situation, and I understand that he was scared of telling me, but I feel betrayed. Also, I wouldn't want to be with him if he is going to ignore his son completely, so I told him I'd support him establishing a relationship with his son. However, I feel like that might be pressuring him to do something he never intended. Altimately, I want him to become a better person. I have no idea the impact this might have on our future.
Am I doing the right thing? I'm so confussed!!