PDA

View Full Version : Cheater wants permission to cheat in new relationship


Lillystar
Jun 6, 2011, 04:47 AM
I met my boyfriend a year ago while he was still in a long term relationship. He was my client and we were friends and would occasionally flirt with each other and I knew nothing would happen, however, it did. We continued seeing each other on the side and then things got serious. He left his relationship and we got closer and closer. Now we live together and all was pretty good until tonight when he wanted me to organise a date for him with a girlfriend so he could live the lie that he told about not leaving his ex for another woman.
I was pretty shocked and went along with it until it came to the reality of the request. I suggested we could go online because I didn't know anyone. Then the final details were discussed and he wanted me to get someone that was believable, a person his friends would think was the appropriate woman. Someone about 10 to 15 years younger than him. (and that is 5 -10 years younger than me). By this time I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier. I asked him how they would know that was the age he would go for considering he had a long term partner who was the same age? His reply was that one particular fellow the man one he was trying to convince had seen him pick up women about 10 years ago. Mmm... well then I realised that the request was just a ploy to have some fun on the side. He said no... thats not right... you could come and watch... I said no thanks. You can have that experience on your own. My question is... Am I on track with this or not?

amicon
Jun 6, 2011, 04:59 AM
Come and watch?!

You know what you should do with this lying cheating so-and-so don't you?

The words kerb and kick come to mind.

As do the words waste of time and space...

Jake2008
Jun 6, 2011, 06:09 AM
What was the nature of your relationship with him, professionally, when you met him?

I hope you aren't a counsellor, but I'm wondering why the relationship started "on the side".

His request for help to find another woman for some complicated reason that makes sense to him, and your going along with it, despite being uncomfortable doing so, seems really obvious to me that he is not as into you, as you are to him.

Have you considered that what he wants to do is not good for your relationship with him?

If you can accept him as he is, and accept the consequences of his actions, i.e. being with other women, then more power to you.

But, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck... I'd get the quack out of that relationship.

BMI
Jun 6, 2011, 08:35 AM
I think you both deserve each other, really.

He cheated on his former partner with you. You were okay with that obviously. Now, he would like to cheat on you (while you watch. Classy.) and it is you who don't like it?

Do I have the above correct?

If so, yeah, karma sucks doesn't it?

talaniman
Jun 6, 2011, 01:12 PM
You can't be shocked at his behavior because he cheated before with YOU, so now its your turn to get cheated on.

I am surprised that you are surprised. Now what are you going to do about it?