ohdanggurrl
Jun 2, 2011, 01:04 PM
hey, so yeah, so there's this guy I've been so head over heels for. I've known him for about 2 or 3 years now. We started as friends&i never really saw myself getting or falling in love with him but as time went on I noticed how much he meant to me&what made him stand out. Before I knew it I was in love with him. He was so different from how the other guys treated me. He was so sweet, so kind&so gentle. He was so considerate of others around him&he was so friendly. He would listen to my problems&would try to cheer me up.
but the thing was that he had a girlfriend at the time. So I couldn't really do anything about it. I didn't want him to know I was in love with him until him&his girlfriend broke up but I guess my best friend couldn't wait at all. So she told him. &i guess it was because of her we got together in the end. But as I was saying. So she told him&he never really acted different&i felt weird though you know.
so I texted him this one day during class saying, "so lauren told you i liked you huh ?" &he replied saying yes. &idk after that things were back to normal. But I was feeling so blahh. As time went by I got closer to him&i was giving him like sort of hints that I wanted to get together&i had to remind him from time to time that I did like him. I knew what I was doing was wrong but him&his girlfriend acted as if they weren't even going out.
they wouldn't talk to each other during class or gold hands or any of that&most people thought me&him were going out. I knew I shouldn't have done any of that but my feelings were getting the best of me. So yeah. &then a couple of weeks later him&his girlfriend had broken up. Oh god I was so happy. &they didn't break up because of me, it was because of someone telling her that he had cheated on her&yeahh.
so then a couple of days or weeks went by & this one day during my p.e class my friends&him were talking but I was hanging with my other friend. &so I guess the guy told my friends that he did like me a lot. &so my friends had told me after p.e&i went up to him. &i said, "so ariana told me that you did really like me too. " he said , "yeah i do. " &i replied, "then why the hell are we still friends. " &he said something about if we do go out it won't be for too long cos he was going to Oregon for the summer&he hated doing long distance relationships or somethingg. &i was mad, I mean he was only going for the summer you know ?
&so I just walked away. &so in english class, which I had with him also. I wrote a note to him saying sorry, lets give us a try okay ? &he replied saying for sure(= . &yeah. He was everything to me. He meant the whole entire world to me. I loved him so muchh. He was my first everything, my first kiss, my first love, my first "i love you" my first everything. Yeah we had our ups&downs but I loved him&i still do till this day.
as time went on, it became summer break. It was a Saturday, the day after our last day of school. I was up in stockton for a family gathering. We were argueing, well we argued the day before too but yeah. I was argueing with him through text messages&i forgot what we were fighting about. All I remember is him saying, "i think we should take a break untill school starts again&we can give us another try okay ? im sorry, i still love you." I swear I did not know whether to be sad that he broke up with me or be angry&disappointed that he did it over text messaging. I had to go into the bathroom&cry. I coulndt let everyone see my cry.
I felt so horrible. &turns out he didn't even get to go to Oregon. He stayed. &he didn't even tell me. So I guess we're still friends. But I still love him. I want him back. I can't move on. I want to but I cant. I still cry about all of this. It still hurts. &he doesn't even know. He doesn't know how much this is hurting me. He doesn't know that I still cry about it even. &to think it was only a few weeks ago. It feels like its been months. I miss him. I can't help but still text him . He still only sees me as a friend.
I ask him does he still love me. He says I'm not sure anymore. Why can't I move on ? What can I do to help mr forget him. I miss him, I love him, but I hate him&want to move on. I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. My heart still hurts. I'm tired of crying. What can I do ?
but the thing was that he had a girlfriend at the time. So I couldn't really do anything about it. I didn't want him to know I was in love with him until him&his girlfriend broke up but I guess my best friend couldn't wait at all. So she told him. &i guess it was because of her we got together in the end. But as I was saying. So she told him&he never really acted different&i felt weird though you know.
so I texted him this one day during class saying, "so lauren told you i liked you huh ?" &he replied saying yes. &idk after that things were back to normal. But I was feeling so blahh. As time went by I got closer to him&i was giving him like sort of hints that I wanted to get together&i had to remind him from time to time that I did like him. I knew what I was doing was wrong but him&his girlfriend acted as if they weren't even going out.
they wouldn't talk to each other during class or gold hands or any of that&most people thought me&him were going out. I knew I shouldn't have done any of that but my feelings were getting the best of me. So yeah. &then a couple of weeks later him&his girlfriend had broken up. Oh god I was so happy. &they didn't break up because of me, it was because of someone telling her that he had cheated on her&yeahh.
so then a couple of days or weeks went by & this one day during my p.e class my friends&him were talking but I was hanging with my other friend. &so I guess the guy told my friends that he did like me a lot. &so my friends had told me after p.e&i went up to him. &i said, "so ariana told me that you did really like me too. " he said , "yeah i do. " &i replied, "then why the hell are we still friends. " &he said something about if we do go out it won't be for too long cos he was going to Oregon for the summer&he hated doing long distance relationships or somethingg. &i was mad, I mean he was only going for the summer you know ?
&so I just walked away. &so in english class, which I had with him also. I wrote a note to him saying sorry, lets give us a try okay ? &he replied saying for sure(= . &yeah. He was everything to me. He meant the whole entire world to me. I loved him so muchh. He was my first everything, my first kiss, my first love, my first "i love you" my first everything. Yeah we had our ups&downs but I loved him&i still do till this day.
as time went on, it became summer break. It was a Saturday, the day after our last day of school. I was up in stockton for a family gathering. We were argueing, well we argued the day before too but yeah. I was argueing with him through text messages&i forgot what we were fighting about. All I remember is him saying, "i think we should take a break untill school starts again&we can give us another try okay ? im sorry, i still love you." I swear I did not know whether to be sad that he broke up with me or be angry&disappointed that he did it over text messaging. I had to go into the bathroom&cry. I coulndt let everyone see my cry.
I felt so horrible. &turns out he didn't even get to go to Oregon. He stayed. &he didn't even tell me. So I guess we're still friends. But I still love him. I want him back. I can't move on. I want to but I cant. I still cry about all of this. It still hurts. &he doesn't even know. He doesn't know how much this is hurting me. He doesn't know that I still cry about it even. &to think it was only a few weeks ago. It feels like its been months. I miss him. I can't help but still text him . He still only sees me as a friend.
I ask him does he still love me. He says I'm not sure anymore. Why can't I move on ? What can I do to help mr forget him. I miss him, I love him, but I hate him&want to move on. I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. My heart still hurts. I'm tired of crying. What can I do ?