This past semester at college I became friends with a classmate, lets call him bob. He became a good friend, we hung out a lot and we helped each other out in various situations. I ended up becoming friends with his girl, lets call her ashley.

You must know that my friend bob is kind of a man whore and doesn't believe in love. He refused to make ashley his girlfriend and they broke up and got back together several times in their dating history, which spanned about 7 months. Nevertheless he has been a good friend to me.

The summer comes and bob goes home which is out of state. Me and ashley live in the same state and make plans to hang out over the summer. At this point I'm not sure if bob and ashley were planning on staying together, as neither made it clear to me, and their relationship seemed so rocky anyway, as they fought constantly. Ashley has told me she hates bob. And bob can be an *** to girls (like I said, man whore).

Me and ashley chat for about a month online, and she finally comes to visit me. I could tell she likes me, and I like her. We go dancing and I end up kissing her. We both express our desire to be together. We have a lot in common and click very well. We ended up having a great time together, but I have not gone past kissing yet.

During the visit, bob keeps trying to call ashley and she keeps not answering. They end up breaking up officially while she's visiting me (this happened after I kissed her). I tell bob nothing about the kissing or our feelings to one another, and lie to him. He is suspicious. He is mad that I am even hanging out with her and tells me he can't be my friend. Me and her both want to be together and decide to date but keep our relationship secret for the time being.

Is this a terrible idea? Am I a bad friend, or should I follow my heart and date ashley? Bob is already mad at me so what have I got to loose at this point? The problem is I will have to see him at school next semester.

Yes you are a lousy friend, courting a person who has a partner, who is your friend no less, behind his back, even though he is a lousy person. I bet you two want to be together since you are the better man (so you think), still she cheated with you instead of dumping the fool, and that's something to take serious note of.

Should be no surprise when she does it to you, or worse, heals from his abuses with your tender loving care, and gets strong enough to explore her world. People that jump from one person to another without a proper healing fail to be good partners for very long, so have your fun but watch your A$$, and protect yourself.

Frankly this secret stuff is another lousy move, and you would be adding poor judgment to even poorer judgment going along with her program. I smell a rat, even though all you see is a cute face you want to get with.

Quite honestly I would have passed on him as a friend, and left his poor g/f alone too. They probably deserved each other. Man, can't you do better for yourself than be led down a very bad road.

What the freak are you thinking about?? You are on dangerous ground!

Never date a friend's ex. Its in the code. Seriously, this is what's wrong with relationships these days. THERE ARE plenty of fish in the sea. You need to stop wanting one that's already been taken by your friend.

Well I think you should really talk to bob ask him if he still has feelings for ashley.. if he says no then you can't date her but I wouldn't keep it a secret in the long run it will only make it worse . If he says he does then say I like ashley but I don't want to do anything that might hurt our friendship , I want to be with her please respect that . Hope this helps

Depends how important the bro code is to you.

It's possible that you and Bob can never be friends again. But is this really the type of person you want to be?

How great is Ashley? Is she worth going against your values and belief?