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LoveeCompletely
Jun 2, 2011, 07:14 AM
My boyfriend and I have been good friends forever, but here recently, instead of flirting, we decided to start dating. I loooove to spend time with him, and I have to beg for him to spend more than two hours with me... I think he feel bad for me. He told me he doesn't want to spend time with me everyday... what do I do? Is he a jerk and should put me first since we're in a relationship? Or am I overreacting and should learn to understand that he has other people in his life? PLEEEASE ANSWER(: Thank you.

Cat1864
Jun 2, 2011, 07:34 AM
In a strong and healthy relationship, both people should have friends and interests outside of being a couple.

Spending time together is important, but so is having time apart. That 'me' time helps keep stability in the relationship. It means that you aren't relying solely on each other for emotional, mental, and social support and entertainment. When a person relies on just one person to meet all of their needs, they tend to become insecure and worry about what the other person is doing or thinking when not with them. That leads to clinging and jealousy, both are not good and damage the relationship and the individuals.

Talk with your boyfriend and set boundaries for spending time together that works for both of you. Remember that Communication and Compromise are very big parts of being in a relationship. So you have fun with your friends and interests and let him have fun with his. It will help keep your relationship from stagnating.

Good luck and have fun.

adviceishere
Jun 2, 2011, 07:37 AM
You're acting needy, you both need time away from each other, I understand when it's a new relationship you want to spend every minute together but this will lead to problems.

Spend time with your own friends and plan dates with him and it will give you both time to miss each other. Its much more exciting that way, getting yourself pretty and going out together somewhere nice. You'll see ;)

miss_a90
Jul 1, 2011, 05:08 AM
So you were good friends before you officially started being a couple, which is a great foundation for a relationship because you already know that you get on really well.

Thing is, a lot of girls get offended if they want to hang out with their boyfriend but he wants to do something with his mates instead, like playing football, but you shouldn't be offended. Imagine if it was the other way around, and you had arranged a shopping trip with your girlfriends but he kept giving you grief for it because he wanted to hang out with you instead, it'd get annoying right?

Don't worry that he doesn't want to spend every waking minute with you, in fact be grateful. Because if you spent all your time together, not only would you end up resenting each other for the fact that all your friends had drifted away, but you'd also end up running out of new things to talk about.

The best thing to do is to come out with a kind of routine with him. Agree that it would be nice to spend 2-3 evenings a week together and one day at the weekend, and agree on days that you both can do. This way, you're not waiting around for his beck and call for when you're allowed to see him, and you both have something to look forward to and will be able to plan to do other stuff not together but with your friends. You'll also probably have more fun together because you've both set aside specific time for each other, rather than either of you being annoyed because you've had to cancel plans with friends etc. You'll also both be focused on each other on these nights so are much more likely to get on and have a good time.

Hope it all works out for you!