My girlfriend said she wanted some space she still text me everyday and on her Facebook profile says went from being "in a relationship" to "it's complicated WHAT DO I DO

When someone says they need space it's often a cowardly way to break up-whilst keeping the other person waiting around in the wings-should freedom and space prove not too exciting after all.

Give her all the space in the world-go live your life and ignore her texts-go no contact-read the stickies at the top of the relationship page.

When you signed up to this site you agreed to follow certain rules,one of which is to only give disagrees when the advice given is factually wrong.

My advice to you is my opinion-based on the information you gave in your post.

Originally Posted by amicon
When you signed up to this site you agreed to follow certain rules,one of which is to only give disagrees when the advice given is factually wrong.

My advice to you is my opinion-based on the information you gave in your post.

Sorry my girlfriend has a lot of depression and a lot on her plate I have anxiety problems we had space before she did come back I'm going to the doctors for my anxiety because I'm always worried when I'm going to see her when she going to text me next she asked me about my appointment today I told her it helped me she said that's good you need to chill out (is this I good sign or bad sign) she didn't take any of are photos down on Facebook she still text me about her day goes so do I give her space and still talk to her I love her too much to let her go I walked out on her before and don't want to that again

Forget the Facebook posting my friend, as since you still talk you can get the facts on how she defines space and what she intends to do about it.

She has depression over your anxieties about seeing her, and I think that means you are insecure, clingy, and may be smothering her. I can imagine you insisting on being with her when she wants to do other things with her friends or family.

Am I on the right track? If so she is just checking to see if you get it, and are making changes in your behavior or manner, and unless you do so, it will remain COMPLICATED, so much so she will give up entirely, and move on.

Change takes time, and I hope you handle your issues correctly, or I see little hope she will stick around, let alone give you the time you need.

I await your input.

Thank you this helped a lot yes I am insecure and I do smother her a lot I am happy that she still text me and tells me about her day is going she has a lot of problems (money) and her oldest son has bi polar and her mom so my best thing to do is sit back and relax and chill out that what she told me yesterday is to chill out so if she sees the changes in me I got a chance getting back with her and her Facebook she didn't take any pictures of us down

You must CUT ALL COMMUNICATION right away.

I promise you if you continue to talk to her, and continue answering her when she contacts you, you will feel worse than you feel right now. No doubt about it 100% worse.

Read a couple of stories on this site, you will see almost every single time, the girl wanted space or time because they had issues in life. Nobody ever questions whether the girl actually had issues in their life, because msot of the time the issues are very real. The point is that because they have issues they decide to break up with you instead of leaning on you for support and making them happy. Just think wile you were with your girlfriend, if she had stuff going on she would come to you for advice and support. Now she has decided that you no longer are capable of helping her and in fact see you as a burden (why else would someone leave you because of other issues in life? See what I mean).
OR
Regardless of whether they have real issues or not, they simply lost feelings for you (probably found someone else they are interested in) and are using this as a nice way to leave you.

Rarely do they say, its over and I don't have feelings for you anymore and never contact us again. There's always the continuous contact, or I still love you and need time or I have so much going on I want to fix that first. This is all an attempt to let you off easy and probably because they want to keep you close and still hung up on them in case they change their mind (they never change their mind if you wait) and most likely keep you close just so when they feel sad, they can contact you to get their fix and then continue on with their life. They also want to ensure you don't move on and meet other girls because that would hurt their ego.

I know you think she's not like that and the most wonderful girl in the world. I know you don't want to let go. But you have to understand this, SHE LEFT YOU. Now you need to cut everything (including blocking and deleting on fb, ignoring her attempts to conact you and not getting updates from others about her). You did not want to leave her but SHE WANTED TO LEAVE YOU. SHE HAS LEFT YOU. The fact that she put her status like that on Facebook actually tells me she's enjoying this and maybe even finds it a little funny.

Tell her you agree (or say you respect her decision) with the break up and will give her the time and space she wants and ask that she not contact you anymore because you have to move on without her no. That's IT, then from there you ignore everything she says or does. If you bump into her, a polite hello or nod of the head that's it.

No contact is very hard and it will hurt like crazy for the next couple of weeks maybe months depending how long and all you were together. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. She now rejected you, keep your pride and dignity and don't try and convince her of anything.

You asked us what to do. The answer is do not contact her, and do not respond to her contact. SIMPLE, just very painfull in the beg.

I can't say this relationship will be successful. I can say your focus, and priority is on your relationship with YOURSELF, YOUR issues, and YOUR emotional health.

Hard to expect any one to deal with their issues and your also.

I know you love the girl, but if keeping her in your life is a priority over taking care of you, this whole thing will fail on many levels. You lose a friend, and yourself. I think you do yourself no favors whatsoever seeing these changes as a way to get her back, as clearly any quick fix, or feel better will give you the false hope that you have solved a problem that could takes years of hard work to overcome, and its debatable whether anyone would wait that long. So see this as work that must be done whether you keep her, or NOT!

Hope for the best, plan for the worse, but keep addressing your own issues, and conquer them. While we all have fears my friend, its how you handle them that counts. Take no false hope from that social network stuff, as it may well be her issues come between you rather than yours. Be aware, and be prepared.

I am giving my girlfriend space that what she asked for she texts me here and there we work at the same place (different hours)i walked her to her area she works at we talk a little I am so use to giving her a kiss instead she rubs my arm and said hang in there she has little problems at home she has to deal with I was being I little pushy saying how were doing and stuff like that I have very high anxiety and she has depression but on her Facebook she added someone that is her friends son not sure if it's a game they play on Facebook but the guy she added my girlfriend son is going out with his daughter so should I let the Facebook go because there just friends on Facebook but I don't know if her friend had something to do with it trying to pull my girlfriend away from me so what should I do

Please turn your caps off. It's hard to read and in the internet world it constitutes as shouting. I'm sure you aren't shouting at us now are you?

What should you do? Talk to your girlfriend. Ask her about this other person. If the two of you can't talk, you don't have much of a relationship.

Sorry about the caps I noticed that she added him on Facebook I don't want to start a fight with her about the other person if I do say something then she will know I don't trust her and I don't want to be pushy either she has different guys on her Facebook too but this one seamed strange to me but on her photos she still has photos of us she took her status of in a relationship its complicated I have girls on my Facebook too so what should I do let it go

Of course you let it go! You both have opposite sex friends on that darn thing so she adds a guy, and you see THREATS, AND COMPETITION??

I am starting to see this as an unhealthy relationship between two emotionally unhealthy people who cannot communicate because they feed each others fears. Just like SHE distract you from dealing with YOUR issues because you are way to worried about losing her. YOU feed her depression, and may be distracting her from dealing with it PROPERLY.

You need to make a very hard choice here if you both can't talk things out and resolve things my friend, as its looking like taking advantage of the space she says she needs to deal with yourself isn't working because neither of you knows what the space thing is about.

Obviously you can't help each other, you text and see each other at work, but don't communicate, and it makes me wonder what you are holding onto. Frankly, I have never seen a happy relationship where the partners were not happy with themselves, and were honest, with themselves. Then the honesty, and happiness with self, can be shared. Neither of you is happy with yourselves, for whatever reason, nor as I see it honest with yourselves so what you share are the misfortunes of your personal issues. That's really an unhealthy situation to be in.

Even if you resolve your own personal issues, she will have hers, so that's why you have a hard choice to make. You can keep dragging each other through your own person shat, or distance yourselves, and resolve your personal issues apart. Yes that would mean ending this emotionally unhealthy relationship, and not being distracted by each others issues, or actions.

Sorry guy, you cannot serve to masters, your emotional health, and her being your girlfriend, at least that's what it seems like to me, because anything she does for any reason will make you anxious, confused, and unable to do what's right for yourself.

Yes, I think you make some hard choices for yourself.