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Hi everyone
All right so I find myself in a very interesting situation. So I'm 17 years old and my girlfriend is 15. We where in class together and since we saw each other we had crushes on each other. Well firstly I have lots of trust issues because of my family. My parents physically and verbally abuse me calling me a {vulgarity removed} and at one point as broken my arm. Other instances are they even egged me on to try to overdose on pills and commit suicide. Well I finally opened up and told my girlfriend of the situation and how I'm glad that once I turn 18 in December I can legally move out and get a place to rent. Well she told her parents of the situation and told me her parents said that I could move in but there would be rules to follow. Including I would have to eat more and actually drink things as I try not to eat much because of my parents calling me fat all the time. Now I absolutely love my girlfriend but I do not think it's a good idea to move in with her family for the fact that I feel like I must not paint a very good picture if they have to ask me to move in with them but, on the other hand, I'm in my last two months of high school and I'm currently living out of my school bag with all my toiletries. I do want to eventually live with my girlfriend but maybe when we are both more mature and not teenagers because I'm worried what would happen if I do actually move in with them. Any advice would be greatly appericated because I have no clue what to do. On one hand I'm flattered her parents like me enough or have enough pity on me that they would let me move in. Except the other side is now I feel completely lower now and that they won't think I'm a good guy. Not to mention I don't want to stick them with more financial burden as I currently can't find part-time work in this economy while I'm at school that fits my schedule and there is no public transportation available where I live.

Have you spoken to your school counselor about your parents' abuse?

You need to talk this through with a responsible adult and you also need help finding somewhere to live.

Moving in with the girlfriend's family is probably not a great solution,so seek help,please.

Do her parents want you moving in as boyfriend and girlfriend? Or will you be in separate rooms? I think if your in separate rooms then her parents are just trying to be good people, you feel like you're a charity case, that's why you feel so low, but your not and I don't think they think so either. They can obviously see great potential in you as a person and want you do have a better life.

On the other hand, you are both very young and living together and playing house is too extreme at your age, as you have already stated. Amicon makes a good point, speak to your school about this. They will know the ins and outs of what rights you have.

I can tell just by reading your post that your are an intelligent young man and I'm sure your girlfriends parents just don't want that going to waste. So don't feel bad on yourself. You deserve better and speaking to a trusted adult can help.

Yes, I have talked to my school councilor about the situation. The councilor told me that I could possibly use them as a safety plan if my parents do this again. They say I should also have the local homeless shelter and child youth services just in case. That being said my councilor also knows the fact that I have called the police on my parents for the abuse when it did get quite bad one night. However, since my mother is a former crown prosecutor for youth court it was really more she said, he said type of deal.

Well I certainly think you should and need to get out of this situation my friend...

I do, I'm just worried living with them would be more trouble. Which may separate us from each other, which I do not want to happen. Though unfortunately her family is the only people(adults) in my live that care about me, and I really respect them. So I really don't want to change how they view me.

Take the help, it can't hurt. Respect your girlfriend's parents' kindness and house and everything will be fine. Finish school calmly and then try to find your own way out of there, just make sure that you don't latch on there longer than you HAVE to.

Good Luck,
Javi

All right guys I need some advice in a situation that's killing me. My girlfriend and I have had a great relationship and I thought she was the one. However grad is coming up soon and we where suppose to do something after. First it was suppose to be at my house, which then shortly changed to being at her house. Now she has told me on Monday that we probably shouldn't dance at grad and she would be to tired to do anything after grad. This kind of made me really upset and I told her on Monday that I felt she was starting not to love me anymore because she has started to push me more and more away from her including physically. Where we have not made out for over a month. She also said I was paranoid and would make her crazy on Monday. Then yesterday she had her extra-curricular activity which she always tried to get me to go and on Friday I finally went to watch her. I asked if she wanted me to go on with her and she said she felt weird people watching her and screws up more. I felt even worse and told her that night that I feel like she really is trying to push me away and that I can't tell if she even cares about me anymore. She responded to that I am an amazing guys and if we ever do break up that we should at least be friends cause she doesn't want to loose me. Then went on to say she got me a present for grad and would not have if she had not cared about me. Then today I had an awful sleep because of the fight we had that night and texted her this morning and she said she was changing and didn't know about us anymore which made me really upset saying if there is someone else I get it. She finally responded that if I want to play these games I can do them myself and that she will text me later that night because she needs to think. Then went on to saying what I'm doing is making her really not want to love me anymore. I apologized to her that night and she told me she was glad I'm feeling better and that she hopes I'm okay. She then went on to say she doesn't know what time to pick her up for grad and that she is volunteering on that day and we will work the details tomorrow out. She is also giving me my present tomorrow. The last two texts I got where "Can we figure all of that out tomorrow when i talk to you? I don't feel good and I'm going to take a nap". I respond to okay ill talk to you after you wake up? She said I don't know. Maybe. My question is she going to break up with me tomorrow?

Nobody can tell you what she's going to do-it does seem though as if she's changed her mind about the relationship.

Have a serious conversation with her,tell her that you want to know what's going on.

It's always better to know the truth,even if it's hurtful.

Sounds like she has a lot to sort out. I understand that you want to push her for answers, but it seems more like she doesn't even have the answers that you're looking for.

So instead of pushing her for answers, why not focus on treating her right? IF you want to keep her around, then give her some reason to keep you. Don't push her overboard by forcing her to tell you what she doesn't know. Furthermore, giving her space might not be the answer either, because she never asked for space.

So while she's sorting things out in her mind, just do keep doing your thing. Show her why she should stay in this relationship. For example, show her that you'll stand by her nor matter what decision she makes. Show her that you care. Show her that you just want to see her happy regardless of the outcome.

This seems to have been an emotional month already.

Where does her parents inviting you to live with them and your parent's abuse fit into this?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/girlfriends-parents-told-me-could-move-574579.html

Somehow, I think your 15 year old girlfriend is having concerns about what the expectations for the future are.

What were your plans for after graduation? Is she graduating too or will she still be in school?

All right, well my girlfriend broke up with me a couple weeks ago. We chose to get back together because she said she missed me and wanted me back. Now my girlfriend is 15 and I am 17. We talk a lot about everything and we have never really had any physical intimacy. We have in 3 months of dating only made out about 3 times, and I have fingered her once. I also have preformed oral on her and since that time she really has not wanted to do anything. I feel like I have to beg to do anything with her. Now today she told me she loves me but just not in love with me. Then went on to say I don't know if ill ever be in love with you. I heartbroken because I wanted her to be my first and we both are virgins. Asked her if that's the case why does she want to have sex with me. Her response was because I care about you. Before this she was talking about how she wanted to have sex with me because she thought it would bring us closer than anything. Now is she like this because of lack of pleasure or just trying to get out of the relationship which is at the moment going no where.

She is 15 and not likely ready for sex. Sometimes girls of that age think they are ready and then when things get close, they realize that it is more than they can handle. Don't pressure her and don't take it too personally. You are both young and there is clearly a lot more sorting out you both have to do before you take such a big step.

I don't even want to have sex. Im still a virgin by choice. I do love the girl and do want to be with her. I told her I don't want her to regret having sex with me. But insist she wants to then does this.

Clearly she isn't ready. So, if you are OK with waiting, that is great. You have a choice in the matter, too, you know. She sounds confused and she may possibly be wanting to do with for reasons she may not be willing to share. But you are under no obligation to do this. I think you are wise to wait.

I want to, and now she is talking about breaking up because I won't be around next year in here school. Im more questioning the love,in love thing.

I think it's time to let this go-at 15 she's very young and having sex with a minor is surely illegal where you live?

She's being realistic when she doesn't see you in her future as you're changing schools so breaking up seems the way this is heading.

That's what I been thinking. No its not illegal for 15 to have sex with 17 year olds there is a 2 year diffrence act for girls under 16. I want to let her go but at same time want to be selfish and keep her close.

More of the story:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/girlfriends-parents-told-me-could-move-574579.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/did-girlfriend-say-its-over-577092.html

I think you need to let her go and move on.

It seems to me that you are holding on to her because she has given you affection when you needed it. You may have been leaning on her a bit more emotionally than you realize.

At 15, she is not ready emotionally to deal long term with all that is going on in your life and her own.

Another issue may be that at 15 it is easy to fall into the thought process that sex leads to love or a stronger bond. It doesn't. If the love isn't there, sexual contact cannot enhance it. Instead, it has the opposite affect of causing negative thoughts and feelings.

Once again, let her go and work through your own issues so that you can be a healthier person and stronger partner in your next relationship.